To the parents who use diminutives!

[Sunflowersandsandals]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but thought as it’s name related why not.

So day to day my daughter goes by a diminutive (Think Libby rather than Elizabeth, Dotty rather than Dorothy etc) my question is, which name do I teach her to write?! She’s almost school age so I want to start teaching her little bits to get her ready but I don’t want to confuse her.
She will be ‘Elizabeth’ on all her school documents etc but her known as name will be ‘Libby’ which name will teachers teach her to write?

P.S we used the ‘full’ name on BC to give her a more ‘grown up’ option she can use in later life if she chooses to.

The name she uses day-to-day. Teachers are very used to it and will have no problem used the diminutive for registration, name-spelling etc. Whenever I’ve registered my DC for school or clubs, there’s always been a space for a ‘would like to be known as’ name.

I would teach her full name, especially if that's the name on her report cards etc.

Nicknames can change and her friends might choose a different one to yours at home.

You have to inform the school if you want them to use a diminutive rather than the formal registered name. I did with one of my daughters. Other people just use the nickname outside class so your child would write their full name on artwork etc but you'd call them by diminutive at home time etc.
I never used her full name so to me it was obvious which was more suitable.

DS is “Josh” he leant to write this first, because this is what he’s known as, because it’s easier and gave him a bit of ownership of his writing sooner. “Joshua” came later, once he could write and spell better.

• not his actual name.

My ds goes by the shortened version of his name and that's the one we've taught him to write first. Obviously he will learn to write the longer version eventually but we've taught him the name everyone calls him, is on his book bag, peg etc.

I have a nn that I use on everything unless it's a formal document or form.

Doesn't your proper name get used for school reports, exam certificates, music exams etc?

Nicknames are just that, names your family and friends call you sometimes, often unrelated to your name.

The diminutive, as that's the name she gets called 99% of the time.

I have a 4yo Alexander known as Alex, he can write Alex and has Alex on his peg and school books in Reception.

Thank you, it’s tricky as she has a toy box and painting in her room with her full name on but she refers to herself as her diminutive but knows she both if you understand what I mean. I think she will have her diminutive on all her book bags and pegs etc as that seems to be what she prefers/calls herself and it’s considerably shorter than her BC name so I think I’ll start with teaching her that.

My DS has just started secondary school and his ‘diminutive’ name is on all of the registers. He’s had his ‘full’ name on his music certificates and I imagine he will when he does his GCSEs etc, but it’s always the ‘short’ form in school reports etc

Go with teaching her the diminutive first, but mention every now and again, 'of course your full name is a bit longer to write than this', and when she's ready teach her that too as a kind of bonus. If she doesn't really identify the full version as 'her' name, it won't be that meaningful or rewarding to her to learn to write it.

My cousin has always gone by a diminutive (eg Libby), but when she went to school her parents thought they should use Elizabeth on the paperwork in case she didn't always want that nn. She kicked up such a stink when she got there on the first day, and nobody ever ever used the full version in all her school years.

Nicknames are just that, names your family and friends call you sometimes, often unrelated to your name

Diminutives are not the same as nicknames. A child named Elisabeth may use the dimunitive Lizzie as her given name, for all purposes. She might have a nickname of Kitten or Bumfluff or whatever. Her name is Lizzie.

My 3 year old has only just grasped that the long version of his name is his actual name. He ‘writes’ (can’t really write yet!) the diminutive, is called it 100% of the time, and if people ask his name he spells it to them 😄

Mine used the short version. She is called it most of the time, and it was easier for her to write.

Both mine use a diminutive , 1 we deliberately used from birth and the other they decided themselves at a very young age . All way through school and at out of school clubs they are known as these .names , had to fill out some forms at school . Has been easy . I still love their ‘ proper ‘ names too !

Teach the diminutive if that is what will be used on pegs, tray, books etc at school. For consistency, plus in terms of her recognising the written form. By the time she takes any exams I highly presume she will have grasped how to spell her full BC name.

Use the diminutive. Apart from the fact that it’s probably easier to start with, there’s not much point in teaching her the long version at the moment if she’s known as and uses the short version.

If the school have an issue with it, then you can always teach the longer version later.

My DS always goes by the diminutive of his name (and hates the official version!). When he was learning to write his name, it was the diminutive he used.

I’m an Elizabeth, known as Lizzie because that’s all I could make of it whenI was small. I’ve always been happy with either. My school knew I would be Lizzie because my elder siblings were already there, so I learned Lizzie first. But I’ve always known my name is Elizabeth and I don’t remember learning to write it. I do remember learning Lizzie so that must have come first - I enjoyed doing ‘z’ so much I used to put 3 in my name! Don’t save the full name for ‘being grown up’ - it will seem very foreign to your child. My parents switched between the full name & Lizzie so I’ve always loved my name and felt comifortable with it.

My school had us learn our full names e.g you had to learn Elizabeth not Libby.

Both my sons have been known by diminutives from birth so we always just told school that that was what they were known as. People often say that you can't choose what their nickname is. No, but you can choose what their name is - and that is what you do when you choose to call them Nell or Elsie or Betty from the birth certificate name of Elizabeth. Of course in that situation no one tries to call them their birth certificate name because that's not what their name is.

I mean, if a child starts school and the parents explain he's known as Billy, the other children aren't randomly going to start calling him William - he might not even be William on his birth certificate. It's slightly different if the name is, say, Sam or Alex, which is clearly just a shortening of a full name, but many traditional diminutives like Jack or Betty are quite distinct from the name of origin.

They might of course get another nickname like Ells-Bells or Bets or Scrunchy or Gnasher but they won't get another name.

Is it the same start? So Ben / Benjamin for example? If so just start with Ben.

But actually I didn’t teach anything before school except for signing cards and words they wanted for making pictures or cards so in that case the diminutive if that’s how she’d always sign off a birthday or xmas card.

DD has a long first name and we use a 3 letter diminutive. We are teaching her both!

I don't understand something about names why do parents not choose the diminutive name in the first place as there actual names?

What is the point if no one actually calls libby Elizabeth..