Baby name anger

[Ballerina68]

This is potentially going to sound ridiculous but bear with me...
My favourite girls name for many years has been Felicity and my dh loved it too. When we had my son 3 years ago he would have been Felicity if he was a girl and so when we fell pregnant at the beginning of this year it was top of our girls list again. Then my friend had a baby girl and called her Felicity. I cried!! I quickly got over it though as she isn’t a close friend and at the end of the day it’s just a name... so it stayed on our list and I came to terms with it having been used by someone we knew. I started to prefer another name anyway as it seemed to suit my sons name more as a sibling duo. When we asked my son what we should name the baby if she’s a girl he chose the alternative name so that was final. When she was born I briefly considered Felicity again but used it as her middle name instead. That way it was still part of her name.
Now my close friend (who knew the whole story from it being my favourite name 3 years ago, to how upset I was about someone else using it and even that we nearly called our daughter it still) had her baby this morning and has called her Felicity.
I can’t help but feel a bit... betrayed and upset. I realise it’s just a name and she may have also liked it and just because I like a name shouldn’t stop her from using it. But I feel it’s a bit strange that she would still choose this name knowing how attached I am to it and how close we are as friends. It just feels too close. It’s made me question if I made the right choice by not using it for my daughter (although I would never change her name now and I do genuinely love her name).
To be honest I’m not sure what the point of this post is. I’m just feeling upset and to be honest still hormonal from childbirth.
Has anyone else ever felt this strongly about a name? Please tell me I’ll get over it eventually?

I get it OP. You feel how you feel, no need to rationalise. I didn't use my most loved name for reasons that seemed important. Doesn't stop me so fine every time I hear it and holding my breath every time someone I know has a baby girl. I love my daughters nsme. It's not rational.

A very close friend loved a name years ago then had a miscarriage. She didn't use it for her baby girl but used it as a middle name. I always knew I would never use that name. I suppose I logically could have but I wouldn't have.

*wincing

I am the first to say that names don't belong to anyone.....but Felicity is not the most common name- I don't know a single child with the name- so I do understand how you feel. Logically, of course, you had the chance and didn't use it, but after hearing about your emotional unheaval it seems a bit mean of your friend to swan in and use it. If it was Ivy, Mila or Esme, or something else people all think is original until they realise its popularity, I'd think they probably liked it all along at the same level you did, but it does seem like she chose it primarily through hearing of it via you, and it's that that sits strangely with me. But just move on.....it is what it is.

You had a daughter and didn’t use the name.

Move on.

Can I ask why you out it as a middle name and not a first?

I think that’s what it is... it’s the principal that she knew how much upset it caused me last time and she is a close friend so I would have liked her to have mentioned it to me. It came as a complete surprise, she had never mentioned the name before and had never even said “oh what a beautiful name” when I had mentioned it before.
It is what it is though and I will definitely just move on from it. I didn’t choose it as a first name partly because my other friend (not close) had given her daughter this name, partly because I’d heard of 2 other baby Felicitys being born recently (through baby groups etc), partly because I thought my daughters name went better with my sons, and partly because I asked my son which name he preferred and he didn’t choose Felicity. I don’t regret my name choice but I do wish my close friend hadn’t used it. I think it stings because she is a close friend. If she was an aquaitence I wouldn’t be bothered anymore. She is saying the name has family meaning and that they had chosen it all along but equally last week when we were out together she said they hadn’t chosen a name as no names had any family connections that they liked and that they didn’t agree on any names. I then sympathised and said we were like that and felicity was one of the only names we ever agreed on... and suddenly she’s used it so I definitely feel it’s a bit like Friends... she heard it and it stuck.
I’m glad other people understand my annoyance and upset and ultimately I will get over it 😊

I'm baffled why you wished she hadn't used it even though you didn't and you're happy with your name choice. It's bizarre.

You let your 3-yr old pick the name of his sibling?

Short answer Mike is yes. But it isn’t as simple as that really. We didn’t just let him choose any name we have him a choice of two names and asked which he preferred. At the end of the day we could and would have still chosen a different name if that’s what we wanted it just so happened that the one he chose was also the one we chose and went with.
I’m not upset that I didn’t use the name ... I did use it as a middle name. I’m just upset that she used it ... which like I’ve said I realise is irrational and I don’t own the name. I’m not that upset really it’s more the principal of it.
Some people understand my feelings and empathise with me (which is what I was wanting really) and others will not understand what I’m going on about or why I’m upset and this is fine too.

Felicity is probably nicer as a MN. It's a bit too long as a first name. Your DD will be Sarah Felicity (Sarah used as an example) but your friend's Felicity will be called some nn or Flissty because of the length.
If you haven't registered DD's name you can still call her Felicity.
What name did DS choose?