Too feminine?

[joyserani]

My husband and I are expecting a boy on the 18th, and we're considering the name "Hilary", as in Hilary Knight, a male illustrator. Hilary is traditionally a unisex name, and we love love love it, but could still use a second opinion regarding venturing into dangerous territory, what with it being so feminine now and everything--any thoughts?

Well I like it. It's very noble sounding. But you will get comments and some confusion. The question is, do you love it enough to let that go? Or do you worry it might mean your child is teased? If there's an IOTA of worry then I wouldn't choose it. There are so many lovely names.

I don't think it's a particularly feminine name even for a female - I personally don't like it and wouldn't want to explain my name choice to anyone.

Your son has to have this name forever so imagine living with the name, whether you think he'd be happy with it and go from there.

FWIW the only Hilary's I know are 50+ year old women ...

Whether it's too feminine or not is less of an issue than the fact that it will be far too closely associated with Hillary Clinton now. It doesn't matter which side of the political spectrum you're on - it will be burden for a boy born in 2018 to carry.

Hilary is very rarely used for boys now, and while many people seem to be giving their girls traditionally boys names the trend doesn't go the other way. Once a name is commonly given to girls it tends to cease to be used for boys. I really think that being called Hilary could be problematic for your son, however much you like the name. The only saving grace might be that Hilary is no longer used much at all so it's possible that while adults will think you've given your son a girls name his peers may well not make that connection. Personally I think it's middle name only territory.

He will hate it when he's at school because the teasing will be relentless.

I couldn't do it.

There's Hilary Benn. The only man I know with the name, and he's in the public eye, so it's not unknown as a male name in the UK.

And Dr Hilary....

...and Dr Hilary Jones

I must be a slow Tyler 😊

typer

What about Tyler though?????

It’s much like Beverley now I’d say, was unisex but now pretty much a girls name.

It’s not massively feminine in my opinion but no doubt there would be a certain amount of teasing and people automatically assuming he is a girl.

Such a shame to rule out names for fairly stupid reasons like this.

I love the name Aubrey which is also sadly viewed these days as more of a girls name. Very annoying (It was still on my list for boys, but very much not on my husband's list, although Evelyn was on his boys list...)

So it's OK to call girls Michael and James and Elliott and Donovan and Dylan but a boy's name with the slightest hint of "girl germs" is off limits. Now I wonder why that it?

I think it's fine. If you love it, you should choose it. It's not like it's an especially common name for either boys or girls, and I can think of at least as many of each.

I dont think its feminine sounding but I dont like the name.
Hillary Clinton is who I immediately think of too

I wouldn’t give a child a name that was used for the opposite sex at all. My niece has one of the names listed by @BertandRussell and is going through primary school with 2 boys in her class who also have the name. As a consequence, she is now referred to as “Peter the girl” or girl Peter”at all times by the other children in the class. People are still shocked when she tells them her name, or if they have a register and call out “Peter Smith” and see a girl coming towards them. There are so many other names to use, no need to give a child a burden from birth.

Reading threads like this I'm am so very glad my parents chose for me a pretty but very 'safe' name. I'd hate to be encumbered with a name generally associated with the opposite sex.

It's awful for a boy or a girl. However far worse for a boy. I can guarantee 15 years down the line your son wont thank you for calling him Hilary

My friend’s DH’s name is Linsey. He’s had 40+ years of showing up at school, job interviews, appointments etc and people being surprised that he isn’t a girl. I gather that he really isn’t a fan of having a ‘feminine’ name.

It's interesting though. There is another thread at the moment debating Carroll for a boy. I wonder if some slightly more androgynous boys names are due for a come-back.

So OP I reckon if you love it, use it. I doubt his peers will have any preconceptions about the name as there really aren't any little girl Hilarys running around the playground & by the time they become politically aware Mr Benn and Mrs Clinton may have both retired.

(I'm not having any more babies myself but perhaps I can call a future boy cat Aubrey)

Well I think it depends a but on your lifestyle OP tbh.

If you will privately educate your son through prep & secondary & beyond & you move in circles with family names, then yes sure. I know a paternal line where all first sons are called Abraham regardless . In some of these families Hilary wouldn't make a dent.

But if you're educating at state school & your boy will be in a class of Kadens, Jaydens, Marcels, Curtis, Harrisons etc where family names are not generally used, then Christ no.

I'm in camp 2 and have a nine year old & poor little Hilary would stand out a mile in Year 4 for all the wrong reasons. And beyond school think about jobs and interviews and a 40 year old Hilary introducing himself at a business meetings with that tired little laugh he's perfected since an early age & the usual 'I'm Hilary, yes its not a girl's name, yes I'm positive' etc.

Plus I work in a male dominated environment & as much as you like to think people have moved on from school, they haven't and poor Hilary will still be teased behind his back & sometimes to his face even in a professional workplace.

Just don't do it, you're naming a human not a hamster.

It's awful

Far too feminine. Traditionally a male name, sure, but that doesn't mean anything really. Meanings and associations of words change over time.

If you love it, use it.
You would probably not get the comments if the name you chose was Ashley.