Too immature!

[WilhelminaReko]

Hello! My son Sammy just turned 18 in July, and he's preparing to fill out his transcripts for university, but yet again he's being difficult! His given name is Samuel, but his father and I have called him "Sammy" since he was 2, and I'm just now paying the price for it. He's a wonderful boy and I'm so proud of him, but he refuses to write down his birth name on documents, name tags, or any other things in the formal vein. He will only go by Sammy, and at first I didn't think anything of it, until my husband's sister pointed out on his 17th birthday that Sammy was an "immature name; he'll be looked down upon in formal settings if he refuses to be called Samuel". I don't really care what he chooses to be called, but she's got me wondering whether or not his nickname will rub people the wrong way :( any thoughts? Thanks!

Can't see anyone at a workplace or course thinking it's weird for him to be called Sammy. Some people might end up shortening it to Sam if there aren't any other Sams around. But if there are, it's going to be useful that he actually prefers a less common short version.

Seems a bit odd for a university-bound 18 year old to mind writing their full name on forms that much though. Hasn't he had to prepare CVs or fill in any other forms to get used to that by now?

Nobody cares, personal choice, I know several "Sami"s - and that is that is their full name, not an abbreviation.

Just as long as his exam certificates are in the same name as his birth certificate, thats the only thing that matters

I don't think it is an 'immature' name - to be honest I am not entirely sure what an immature name would be! However I do find it odd that at 18 he wouldn't use his full name on a form. I know quite a few people from university and professionally who are know as something other than their given name

It’s entirely up to your son how he chooses to present his name.

I’ve worked for incredibly senior, high flying, high earning men called Benny, Freddie, Danny and Jonny.

If I'm being honest, Sammy does have a toddler ring to it but absolutely nothing wrong with being called that and continuing to use it if that's what he has always been known as and likes.

It is a bit odd that he refuses to fill out official forms with his proper name though. What about his passport? Does he mind it's 'Samuel'?

It doesn't really read that different to Jamie for me. Lots of people shorten their names and that's the one he likes. Sounds fine to me. We 'ie' our 20 year old sons name too. It's fine.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I've worked with people in very senior and high paid positions with names such as Jimmy, Jamie, Rosie and Billy so I don't think it's any different and he's right to want to keep the name he's had since he's been 2.

I think that as he likes being known as Sammy, let him. It doesn't matter what other people think.

Sammy Davis Junior didn't mind.

I think it's fine for an adult to go by if that's what he prefers. As pp mentioned though it might get difficult if he doesn't enrol with his full, birth certificate name when it comes to exams/degrees. Maybe mention that to him?

Just as long as his exam certificates are in the same name as his birth certificate, thats the only thing that matters

Absolutely true.

I once nearly missed that tiny little detail...

Sam/Sammy is fine imo. And anyhow, it's his choice...

It matters to have legal name on key documents.

If he wants to go forward with that as Sammy, then he needs to arrange it. If not, then Samuel on his qualifications, so also on enrolment. Does he have a passport? What name is on that?

Driving licence? Bank account?

I work at a university, and wouldn't think anything of having someone called Sammy in my class.

Most universities will ask for your full name (for certificates and official things) and also a "preferred name" (goes on registers and email address etc). Sometimes you have to add a preferred name to the system when you arrive. Get him to use that!

If he absolutely hates his full name maybe he'd be best to change it legally? As I'm pretty sure you have to put it on official documents, don't you ? 🤔 Like bank accounts, passports, driving license etc ?

I don't see it being immature though. My gran had a brother that went by Sammy in his 60s!

He can go by anything he likes but he has to put his official name on official forms. "Sammy" doesn't exist according to any bureaucracy and I don't think universities will accept him if they can't match him up with any existing records. I am never called by the long version of my name but I wouldn't dream of putting the short version on any kind of form unless it had a specific box for "known as."

FWIW, I know a young man who's always called Sammy - I'd assume he was about 23 or 24 - and it doesn't seem to cause any problems with how people see him. I have no idea whether it's his full name or what he puts on forms, though.

It's really no different to Eddie, Andy, Danny, Johnny etc and agree with a PP that it will help differentiate him from the many Sams he is likely to be at University with

As long as Samuel goes on official docs then fine for him to continue to use Sammy as his preferred name for as long as he likes

He may cause problems for himself if he doesn't use his full name on official documents, in some contexts it would be seen as trying to have another identity. In terms of applying for jobs most want proof of identity and right to work which would need to match an application. Fine to go by Sammy all the time if that's what he wants but he'll create more hassle for himself by refusing to write his full name on docs. Better off legally changing it if he is that against it. I think it sounds a bit childish, but not so much that it should be a problem.

I did have a friend name Sammy at school who had to ask the teacher whether it was spelled Samuel or Samual when he was writing his name on an exam paper which made me laugh.