Would you ask her?

[Dhakkens]

I posted yesterday about two names and we are now leaning towards one but want some advice first.
My daughter is named after my OH grandma and middle name my grandma (dad’s side) OH grandma is still alive and loved that we used her name and was very emotional about it. We didnt pick the name solely because it was his grandmas name but because it was a name I loved and it happened to have sentimental value too.

This time we are having a boy and I want to call him Jude. My grandma (mam’s side) is called Judith so I think it would be a nice nod to her and then my mam’s side of the family will have been honoured in our children’s names too. Question is...should I run it past my nan first?? We aren’t telling family but I’m not sure if I should check if she minds? Again, we aren’t picking it just because of my nan it just happens to be one of the only names we agree on lol

I would let it be a lovely surprise for her.

I agree, let it be a surprise.

Agreed. A surprise.

Yes I would like it to be a surprise too I think.

Yeah I can't imagine she would be upset and a surprise is always lovely! Jude is a gorgeous name

I would do a surprise and be nice for her to think she's at least part of the reason it was chosen. My name is the feminine form of my grandad's but actually has nothing to do with him, just an author my mum liked at the time but I think he's always been super proud and happy about it so I just pretend it's for him.

And Jude is such a lovely name.

I think you can go a kind of middle way; either before or when he is born, tell her that you'd like to call him Jude, giving her space to express any reservation while definitely presenting it as a lovely surprise rather than asking permission. I'm 98% sure she'd be thrilled and have no objection, but I guess you should have a plan in case of that 2%. Either work to make her feel good about it; go ahead regardless; or have a backup name.

My uncle and his wife gave their son the same name as my dad (uncle's brother). My dad and the kid use different nicknames (think 'Alec' and 'Xander'), and I'm pretty sure they chose it because they liked the nickname rather than bc they set out to name him after my dad. They definitely didn't ask permission, but did present it as a nice thing, and I think my dad is a bit pleased.