next door neighbour has our baby name dilemma

[MummyGoftwo]

We are due a second girl in a few months. We moved house last year into a new development with a selection of new neighbours, and our neighbours who moved next door have a little girl (aged 3) with her name we had already planned to name a second daughter - we already have one daughter. I really still want to use the name, but don’t want her to have the same name as the little girl next door. I think it will look like we copied them, and we didn’t as we had his name decided if we had a second daughter before we conceived her! the name in question is ‘Matilda’, so it’s not too unusual, but not hugely common where we live, although i know it’s very popular nationally! We have chosen a back up name, but I just don’t love it quite as much! What would others do?

I would use is definitely. I probably couldn’t help myself and mention that you’d always wanted to use the name when you see them post baby though to avoid any assumption on their part of copying!

It's fine, it's popular enough that she's unlikely to be the only Matilda in her school. If she was called Phoenix-Rain then, yes, that would be a bit odd.

I would use it too. You or they might move at any point so you don't want to miss out using a forever name because of it. I can see why you are a bit unsure though.

Yes of course use the name.

Next doors dog has the same name as my son! We couldn't agree on a name (apart from that name) so our little boy was no name for a week. I realised it was a ridiculous reason not to name him that, it just annoys me if I'm in the garden and the neighbour is constantly shouting it. Oh and it's not a dog type name ! If I was you I'd just pick the name I wanted, you might move and never see these people again.

We named our cat after next doors DD. I would explain that youve always lked it and I bet the 3yo eill be thrilled.

I had the same dilemma as you Sunshine, next doors dog had my boy name, it was my third boy too so I had already used up my favourites. I decided not to use it and then the dog unexpectedly died! The neighbours were very upset, he was an exceptionally nice dog so at least I didn't remind them of their pain shouting after my toddler. DS is now a teen and,of course, had decided he doesn't like his name and would have preferred the " dog" name !

My neighbours daughter has the name I liked and I still named my daughter it.

Just use it. You won’t live next door to them indefinitely anyway.

Definitely not a problem, especially with the age gap which means they won't be in the same class at school or likely to be in the same friendship groups. Even if they were, so what. It's really not an issue, and I'm normally on the other side on threads like these.

I’d use it anyway.

Do you like Tilly? My neighbour calls her daughter this almost exclusively so she's a Matilda but not "matching"

So how would you feel if you used your back up and either of you moved in the next couple of years?

Just use it, neighbours come and go and even if they don't they will be in different classes at school and have different groups of friends. You could use different shortenings from each other if necessary. I like Tilda. :)

Use it anyway! Our friends called their Matilda Mati which is cute.

I'd definitely still use it!

Use it!

You have great taste Matilda is the best name ever not that I'm biased.

I never use her full name she's known at home and school and everywhere as Tilly. I also use Tilda, Matty and Till-bot.

My daughter has the same name as our neighbour’s daughter. It’s never been an issue.

Thank you everyone. It's great to see such encouraging responses! Yes I like Tilly and Tilda as nicknames, so would no doubt use of of those when calling for her! It's hard to find a name nobody has across various friendship groups, baby and toddler groups etc unless you go for something very unusual!

aw. 3 year old next door will be over the moon! go with it.

Just use it. Matilda is such a frequent name around here that when I went to baby groups, if I forgot the name of a baby girl, I couldn't go far wrong calling them Matilda!

Use Matilda if that’s what you love!!! Neighbours come and go. And even if you’re living next door to this Matilda for the next forty years, it’s a very popular name and so you’re definitely not ‘copying’ this one girl’s name.

Just don't worry. Choose what you like.

I'd use it in a second. Honestly if my neighbour used "our name" it wouldn't even occur to me that she might be copying. And even if she was copying us I wouldn't care. My sister or best friend yes - my neighbour no.

Ps Matilda is a lovely name

My mum had a named picked for me, after her dearest granny. Cousin was born a month before me and was given the name. Mum was estranged from the family but still didn't feel able to use it.

I was named after my dads mother. That is literally all I know about her. Mum divorced my dad when I was 1. Never saw him much after that, maybe 5 times.

Met my cousin once. I've always hated my name for no other reason than the very sound of it.

Use the name that means something to you. It's a gift to your child.