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VERY picky boy's name challenge!

103 replies

BertieBotts · 02/05/2018 21:19

I'm coming up to 24 weeks with DS2. Need to agree on a name at some point.

DS1 was easy, we agreed on his name on the day of the scan and it just stuck. This time it's really hard! DH has totally different taste to my ex as well and I can't predict what he will like at all.

I should admit, I'm probably the pickier of the two of us. The problem is that it seems with boy's names I either really like them (1%), I really hate them (80%), or I find them okay but totally and utterly bland (the rest). I've also taught children which seems to add another layer of nightmare to the whole process Grin

Criteria (Skip to summary for less waffle)

We're English but live in Germany. It has to work in English and German. It can be a German name or an English name. According to German rules: It can't be a made up name. If it's not recognisable as either English/German by the average German person because it's unusual, we may be asked to get a letter from the consulate confirming it's a real name. It's also not allowed to choose a name which is more commonly known as a surname - something like Thomas would be fine, something like Bailey is not (real example a friend was refused). I don't mind if it's common or unusual currently but defo not a name you'd associate with somebody of a certain age group, like Wolfgang, or Steve.

Common German letter/pronunciation problems:
J is pronounced like Y
TH is pronounced like T or S
W is pronounced like V
V can sometimes come out like W
R as a beginning letter can be tricky.

Just generalisations, but does rule out a few names we like, particularly J names. Worth noting if they are very common English names, like James, they are pronounced fine, but names with a German equivalent like Jacob/Jakob (Yak-ob) won't generally come out as we'd hoped!

We will use one of two middle names which both end in the sound -ew. Our surname is one syllable with the -e- sound, and it sounds like a real word, so names which are also real words often sound ridiculous. Think along the lines of Webb (but it's not Webb). Grey Webb = definite no. Based on how these sound with the middle and surnames I've ruled out names ending in oo/ew, o, m, p, v or ch. DH prefers two syllables or at least a two syllable short form (e.g. Freddy).

We would really love a connection to space, fantasy or nature, but this isn't required (it just gives it more chance of breaking through the "meh" or "oh god no" filters). Apart from Welsh and German connections we don't have any other geographical links. I'm not really keen on names which mean things like "warrior" or other things relating to violence/dominance - I'm aware this sounds totally and utterly bonkers but I don't like the association of male = violence. And we're not religious and DH is quite keen to avoid religious names - but IMO this only really rules out things like Gabriel, Noah - something which is extremely common but also happens to be a biblical name like Matthew might be OK. The meaning probably isn't a dealbreaker - just a nice to have.

So far we've gone through:

Lars - DH doesn't like because "he will name the baby lala" - I still like, and think this is a stupid reason.
Robin - like the connection to nature/woodland, two syllables, Robin Williams, general sound. But I was unsure as it is quite close to DS1's name. DH has now gone off as he's realised it can be used for a girl too.
Leo - we may come back to this because it's the one we've both stuck on for the longest, but we were both under the impression that the other wanted a longer "proper" form and couldn't agree on one. I'm not hugely sure about the -o ending with either -ew middle name. DH suggested Leon which I really don't like. And I don't think Leon can be shortened to Leo. Now he's gone off it - not sure if this will come back.

I like but DH doesn't: Max, Emil, Tobias (Toby), Elfrid (but agree this is a bit too out there), Leonidas (Leo)

Currently (tentatively) considering - Idris. I love this name, have always loved it (my Grandma was Welsh and we spent a lot of time in Wales during my childhood) plus it reminds me of dragons. I like that Idris is a legend too, and an astronomer! DH is a bit unsure because he hadn't heard of it before, but I think he might be warming to it? He liked Idris Elba in some film or another. I do think the Germans will tend to pronounce it ee-dris with a rolled R but I don't mind that.

Summary:

Boy's name
Works in English and German
Two syllables (or two syllable short form)
Not ending in oo/ew, m, p, v, or ch
Not a real word
Not a made up name
Not a surname
Bonus for connection with space, fantasy or nature
Preferably not meaning something violent or religious

If you can come up with anything either one of us likes I will be very impressed Grin

OP posts:
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BewareOfDragons · 02/05/2018 22:09

Leander / Leo

Sebastian

Florian

CarriMarie · 02/05/2018 22:13

Casper/Caspar
Felix
Conrad
Tristan
Marcus

scrivette · 02/05/2018 22:14

Rowan (or Rohan)
Henley (means wooded copse)
River

BigPinkBall · 02/05/2018 22:15

Alexander - it works in all European languages, there are lots of nicknames you can get from it so your child can choose the one he likes best, it’s a classic, proper name but no religious connections and if you’ve got a short surname it will sound good together.

Ifyouthinkiwillsleepyoudream · 02/05/2018 22:17

Oscar?

IAmMatty · 02/05/2018 22:17

Sorry I got a bit bored reading all of your stipulations Blush but my German friend has a Jonah, and we all just pronounce it the German way (we're in the North of England). Don't know if that helps at all.

Dontbuymesocks · 02/05/2018 22:22

Alexander
Benjamin
Christian
Thomas
Michael
Roman
Oliver
Charlie
Leon
Philip
Sascha
Markus
Jonas
Armin
Kai
Elias
Noah
Stefan
Felix
Lucas/Lukas
Max
Oskar
Nico

There are so many possibilities and I agree with others that you are overthinking this!

felicitythemangyfox · 02/05/2018 22:42

Robert

NutCase82 · 02/05/2018 22:50

Tobias / Toby
Tristan
Jani (Yani)
Gary
Fred
Josef (Yosef)
Alex

BertieBotts · 02/05/2018 23:28

Thank you! Will defo look over all of these tomorrow! Sorry, I didn't expect to get replies yet.

I know I've been a bit (OK, totally) bonkers but I'm at the point where simply searching through baby name books, sites and lists with one or two of the different stipulations (space names, unusual names, names ending in XYZ) isn't bringing up anything new. So I don't mind a bit of ribbing if it sparks people's thoughts to get me some fresh ideas.

Overthinking - yes, but... it's been over 2 years since we started looking for names since that was the time of our first pregnancy/miscarriage. (DS1 is from another relationship). We've had a girl's name since then plus a couple of backups, even, but been back and forth on boys' and got nowhere. The criteria have boiled down but the names somehow haven't. MIL keeps suggesting things like Barry and DH looks through Final Fantasy and comes up with names we aren't sure are real, like Ignis.

Long post - yep, sorry. That's why I put the summary at the end.

Seen Alexander has come up a few times - I'd forgotten that! That's a really simple one I am sure we had on the list at some point.

Orion we both like, but it's too close to DS1's name. Same with Rowan although I like it. Some others on the lists I like but they are already names of very close family members.

By bland I mean Tom, Sam, David, Chris - perfectly nice and actually really classic names which I like well enough, but bland (IMO) especially compared to common/classic girls' names, and it feels like a let down compared to how I've felt about all of the girls' names we've shortlisted.

OP posts:
MillicentF · 02/05/2018 23:32

Patrick.

Problem solved!

wizzler · 02/05/2018 23:43

Luke (skywalker)

EthelBeavers · 02/05/2018 23:44

Idris sounds pretty awesome to me, but having read the list if you're looking for something German/English that's not that common have you thought about Roderick, can shorten to Roddy? I will admit to not having the foggiest as to how a German accent would tackle the R there. Grin Good luck, hope you find something!

Hushabyelullaby · 03/05/2018 00:46

I noticed a pp mentioned Sebastian, but it not having a two syllable shortened version. I have friends with a son called Sebastian who gets it shortened to Seba (pronounced See-ba)

o0o0 · 03/05/2018 01:01

Lyor- pronounced Lee-Or. Can be shortened to Leo.

Lovely.

sycamore54321 · 03/05/2018 01:16

Not the nature connection but I know Germans called Stefan and Andreas, both of which work well in English and might fit your other (very many!) criteria.

I'm surprised at Leo making your list of you dislike the violence/dominance/strength thing; I would see a lion as falling within the same category.

Other thoughts, Marcus/Markus, Martin, em... These are probably on the bland side for you though. This is hard!

blairsey · 03/05/2018 01:31

How about Steffan/Stefan? Steffan is a welsh name, and Stefan is German & Scandinavian. It's a strong, lovely boys name that is not super popular or too unusual that would work well in Germany and the UK. It means 'crown' or 'garland', which I guess you could say garland is an association with nature? And it is two syllables, so I think that checks off all your requirements except for if you like the name? Grin
Some other suggestions: Matteo, Niklas, Julius.

Plumsofwrath · 03/05/2018 01:48

Ignoring ideas already mentioned:

Sasha
Hayden
Oswald
Benedict
Julian

LemonysSnicket · 03/05/2018 01:55

Stefan?

RiaOverTheRainbow · 03/05/2018 02:01

Jasper
Morgan
Ashley
Owen

RiaOverTheRainbow · 03/05/2018 02:02

Sirius
Draco

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 03/05/2018 06:58

Lars and Ludo are both great !
How about Xavier, Xander of Sven.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 03/05/2018 06:59
  • or.
ScreenQueen · 03/05/2018 07:12

Lots of good ideas here...I also have a wildcard for you to consider: Joris (low German and Dutch version of George, as in George and the dragon, or Joris en die Draak for Efteling fans Grin).

BertieBotts · 03/05/2018 07:56

Well both male and female lions are violent hunters so it doesn't bother me as much Grin It's not that big of a deal really if we like the sound of the name, was just something which struck me when looking through name meanings that a lot of them are warrior/fierce/defender etc for boys and not so much for girls.

Love Lars, Max and Tobias, but DH doesn't. DS1 is really keen on Sirius but I think it's too obviously HP. We both like Phoenix but feel it's too much for a first name and the middle name is already chosen, one of two choices. (TBH, it's a good job we came up with the second middle name option, because option 1 ruled out 90% of names on sound grounds and was making me even more crazy.)

Marcus/Stefan not too bland but feels dated to me, I went to school with too many. Same with Adam although it works fine in German.

I like Lyor, haven't come across that! Not really keen on Sebastian or Roderick, Theo, Otto or Hugo.

Felix makes me think of cat food - shame as it's a nice name. Casper is a ghost, Ludo is a game.

I like Finn! But it does sound a bit like thin and that's an issue with the surname being a noun (and the noun is something which can be thin). Hmmm maybe Fin-something, like Finley, Finnegan, Finnian? Will have to look at those.

Joris is interesting - I will have to think about that.

Andreas, Rowan, Martin, James, Matthias, Adrian, Hayden are all too close to or identical to existing names within the family/v close friends/middle names.

You are all dangerously encouraging about Idris - I'm going to be gutted if DH goes off it.

There's a fair chance the baby will have red hair if that influences any decisions! Equally could be more blond. It's a shame about Rowan because I quite like that. Maybe it's different enough.

OP posts: