[Sorry for long post]
My partner and I are both black (Afro-Caribbean), and we'd discussed maybe wanting our son to have an African name as a way of valuing our roots. In a middle name, my partner values tradition and naming after a family member, whereas I value coming up with a new name that's unique to the child (my mum did this with me, giving me 'Summer' as a middle name as I was born in August). We'd decided on our child having a few middle names anyway, so it seemed ok to me that we both have different approaches to middle names.
I proposed the name 'Simba' as a possible middle name as it's an African name and means 'Lion'. I like it because, to me, 'lion' symbolises strength, and it's also my partner's favourite animal. I also just like the sound of it. The fact that it's the name of a character from The Lion King means nothing to me, as I've known actual people to have Simba as a first name. To me, it's an actual name before it's a character in The Lion King. My partner, on the other hand, couldn't take it seriously and reacted quite badly to the name. He worries that our son might get bullied at school for having Simba as a middle name, as everyone (especially kids) attributes the name to The Lion King. I couldn't agree. Firstly, are children likely to share their middle name(s) with one another? I don't think anyone in primary school knew what my middle name was. Even in secondary school, only close friends would've known my middle name - because I'd chosen to tell them. I thought middle names were told on a need to know basis, and I wouldn't have thought kids to be interested in middle names. Secondly, it's not as if Simba is an evil or even dislikeable character in The Lion King, so I find it hard to imagine any 'bullying'. Thirdly, I think he's underestimating that our son should, hopefully, have a little resilience - you know? My younger brother is called Milo and everybody thought my mum had named him after Milo from the Tweenies. Yes, he got a few remarks from kids at school (this was about his first name, mind you, which people are forced to hear - not a middle name which barely anyone hears/knows), and he shrugged them off and lived. My partner reckons that if there's any degree of risk present (risk of bullying), then why should we risk it? I think he's totally overestimating the 'risk'. He also says he just doesn't like the sound of the name Simba.
My partner has suggested some family member names as middle names which I may not have thought 'flowed' with our son's first name, or necessarily 'liked', but the fact that the name means a lot to my partner meant that I was fine to accept the name as my partner's contribution, and not dispute it - I valued my partner's satisfaction with his contribution. I was quite upset that my partner couldn't see my contribution in this same way, claiming that it's "not the same" as his names are after members of his family (so are therefore more important?). I reminded him that we both hold equal value for our own approaches to middle names, so his statement is unfair - the way he values tradition, I value uniqueness.
What are your thoughts on the matter? Am I being unreasonable? Is he?