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Upset re nieces name. Should I be?

25 replies

Slimefactory · 26/02/2018 08:35

A few years ago I called my daughter Nia. My inlaws made it clear they disliked the name, they prefer traditional names. In my hormonal state I was hurt my their reaction to the name and it took the shine off the name for me.

Last week SiL had a baby girl. She has called her Mia. Everyone in the family keeps saying how lovely the name is. Nobody mentions that it’s almost identical to my daughter’s name and will be confusing when calling then both. And nobody has reacted like they did to Nia’s name by wrinkling their noses and suggesting Elizabeth/Alice/Emma instead.

I’m a bit upset but am prepared to be told I have no right to be. What do you think?

OP posts:
Fishface77 · 26/02/2018 08:38

They are knobs.
What i would do is thank your sis in law for her support in the issue of your child’s name as she has named her almost identically. I would say after the cussing you got you were worried for her.
I would do this loudly so everyone can hear.

user1499786242 · 26/02/2018 08:41

I'd be really annoyed and would make a few sarcastic comments because I couldn't let that lie TBH

quantiestillecanisinfenestra · 26/02/2018 08:46

If it helps, Nia is actually a traditional name - it's the Welsh form of Niamh, meaning 'bright/shining'. It's not widely used, but I knew a couple of Nias growing up in North Wales. I think it's lovely.

It's not on to criticise people's choice of names like that. Is it possible they've just learned some manners since you had your baby? grasping at straws

MammieBear · 26/02/2018 09:48

That's awful, how rude! Try not to fret at least you have more of an original name choice.

silkpyjamasallday · 26/02/2018 12:09

They are being dicks, but your SIL is the worst for giving her daughter a near identical name, presumably having also sneered at Nia previously. I'd be seriously pissed off but there's not much you can do.

upsideup · 26/02/2018 12:17

Our DD3 is Emmi, we had family telling us that it wasnt a proper name and that we need to call her something like Emilia or Emma though they all said they didnt even like that.
10 months later and SiL called her dd Emma, claiming they had always liked that name and were only telling us they hated it to put us of naming ours Emmi.
I was pissed off and I would be in your situation too OP.

DullAndOld · 26/02/2018 12:21

They sound like knobs.

Nia is a fine name, and it was just rude to call her cousin Mia.

I admit the first time I heard it at the age of 16, when a Nia arrived from Wales to share my room, I said ....'what?' but in my defence I was 16 and that was in 1981.

Possibly some vestigial anti Welshness on the inlaws' part?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 26/02/2018 12:25

They're all twats. SIL for choosing Mia and your in laws for thinking they had any right over what you called your baby.

Nia is pretty.

DullAndOld · 26/02/2018 12:27

and don't let them call her 'Near'..:)

TuckMyWin · 26/02/2018 12:29

Nia is pretty and unusual. Mia is also pretty, but there are tons of them, and your niece is unlikely to be the only one in her cohort. When the girls grow up they will both no doubt wonder why on earth Mia's Mum decided to name her daughter almost identically to her older cousin. I'd be pretty annoyed and bemused if I was Mia in that position!

noseypud · 26/02/2018 12:29

Thats terrible! Very confusing for the rest of the family! My partners brother has two children both named the same name as my partners cousins. There was a big fall out in the family and it is very confusing having two Daniels and two Katies.

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 26/02/2018 12:34

Make sure you pronounce her dd Mea and say well it can't possibly be Mia as it's about the same as your dd and they all made a song a dance about it being awful!!

DullAndOld · 26/02/2018 12:35

yes Nee- ah and Mear...:)

Marcine · 26/02/2018 12:37

I am guilty of giving my son the same name as a cousin, think Harry and Harriet Grin

lizzlebizzle33 · 26/02/2018 12:45

They are dicks, Nia is a lovely name while Mia is very common and completely overused.

scrabbler3 · 26/02/2018 12:55

I love both names.

I can see why you're irritated tbh.

PersianCatLady · 26/02/2018 12:59

In the not too distant past families would often call cousins the same names.

Even worse was having a child that died and then using the same name for a new baby of the same parents.

upsideup · 26/02/2018 12:59

Is it Mia as in My-a or Me-a? And Nia is Ne-a?
If its Ne-a and Me-a, I would 'accidently' call her my-a.

IVflytrap · 26/02/2018 13:09

Their reaction to Nia was incredibly rude of rude of them and yes I would be annoyed about Mia, both for SIL choosing a similar sounding name, and for your in-laws hypocrisy (because if they don't like Nia, why is Mia suddenly so great to them?)

The only tentative explanation I can think of is maybe your SIL picked out Mia for a future DD years before and that's why they were trying to put you off originally. Mia was hugely popular in the early 2000s and peaked about 10 years ago, which is why I'm wondering if she came up with it a while ago.

If it's any consolation, Nia is a beautiful, classy, unusual name (at least in England, I imagine more common in Wales). While I liked Mia when I first heard it, it's a tad overdone now.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 26/02/2018 13:14

Unacceptable that they were so rude about your daughter's (lovely, btw!) name, but tbh I don't think you've got any business worrying that your niece's name is too similar to your daughter's. I don't think it's fair to expect family or friends to discount their first choice of name for their own child just because it's the same/ similar to one you've already taken.

user1492365675 · 26/02/2018 13:27

Nia is a beautiful name. You chose really well.

Your in-laws are nobs for making you doubt your choice. And it's totally understandable that you feel hurt by their reaction to your niece's near-identical one. I'd feel the same.

You can't change their past reaction but feel free to point out their hypocrisy if they ever mention it again!

Slimefactory · 26/02/2018 14:03

Thanks all. They are pronounced Mee-a and Nee-a so v v similar. It will be really confusing every time they are together which is going to be quite often.

I’m just hurt that they made us feel bad about Nia and yet celebrate Mia. I have no idea why. Nia was my great grandmother’s name so maybe they disliked it as it celebrated my side of the family. They were also cross that we double barrelled our childrens’ last names with my surname and their’s.

OP posts:
Redpramlady · 26/02/2018 14:40

As user 149 says above!

daffodildelight · 26/02/2018 15:13

Don't worry OP. You got there first and have the moral high ground. Just smile and say "Oh how lovely- it's just like Nia".

HuskyMcClusky · 26/02/2018 15:16

They’re knobbers. And Nia is much nicer than Mia anyway.

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