Naming a child's middle name after deceased relative

[Gemmamummy86]

Hi. I think my scenario might be pretty unique to some but just wondered what other mums think and whether my feelings are a bit harsh or not.
We already have a little girl and her middle name is Vida (female version of David) and means "life" after my dad passed away very young at only 51. We are now expecting a little boy and my husband has decided he would like Peter as a middle name after his dad. His dad is very much alive and whilst I love him as my father in law I can't help but think it detracts from what we chose to do with our little girl.
We want to find something meaningful as a middle name for him but I don't really like the name Peter and think it's a bit harsh on any relative we have that's alive as we haven't honored them!
What are your thoughts? Am I being unreasonable?

Yes, you are absolutely bu. You had a middle name honouring one of your family, it's only fair that your dh should have the same. His dad won't live forever!

Translate Peter to another language if you really don't like it. Pedro, Peadar, Petr, Pietro...

What about using your mil name or a variant if you don't like Peter. Then it's evened out by a name from each set of grandparents.

I think Peter is lovely, and your FIL would be honoured.
Let your DH name the baby after his Father, well, the middle name. 😀

DS1 has my (very much alive) dad's name as a middle name, DD is named after my late MIL, my now late Mum although she wasn’t at the time, and my late Grannie. DS2 middle names are for my late FIL, and my best friend who died when I was carrying him. I think your point is quite unfair to your DH.

We gave DS1 DHs father's name as a middle name who was very much alive and kicking at the time of DS's birth. Sadly he had died by the time DS was 2.5 from a very sudden and shocking illness. We're so glad he got to meet DS and know that he was named after him. You never know how long people are around for and to name someone after someone that is alive is a lovely thing to do as they get to actually know about it. It does not detract from your daughter's name at all!!

Oh and his name was Peter. It's a lovely name and we're so glad we used it to honour him in the couple of years he was alive and now in his death

Ok thank you all for your comments. I guess I just worry most about upsetting other people, my MIL for example who isn't with my FIL may be a bit funny about it. It's right that he should choose though. We both have settled on a lovely first name we both like so he will hardly ever be referred to as his middle name anyway. Thanks all x