Will we damage our child with an "out there" middle name?

[AlaskanSnow]

We know we are having a DS. We've chosen the first name, which is in the top 30 of last years ONS, with a nice normal spelling.

We've not really decided on a middle name, neither of us want to use a family name as we only plan on having the one child so it seems unfair to pick from one side and not the other.

DH has come up with the idea of having (in his words) a spectacular middle name. Something uncommon that we weren't brave enough to use as a first name. On the list of names we loved but wouldn't use were Greek Gods, a constellation, a Shakespearean character, a historical figure and a couple of film/TV show characters.

All of these names did appear on the ONS list, so clearly they are being used as first names by some.

I just worry that DS could be embarrassed by it, despite the fact that we might think the name was great. DH doesn't think it is something to worry about - he himself had a common family middle name that he has always disliked, so thinks DS could hate whatever innocuous name we choose.
I love my middle name, it is relatively uncommon but still very much a name people know and it flows prettily with my first (boring) name.

Am I worrying too much? I mean DS could hate his perfectly reasonable first name for all I know!

Please use Wilberforce! Love it

I laughed out loud twice at Wilberforce. I bloody love that. Please choose that

I'd say think about whether you'd like to have an "out there" middle name and if you answer yes then fine, but remember he may want have it on his CV and if it's a name that will hinder his job prospects -
don't use it.

I'd love a weird middle name

I regret not giving ds2 the whacky middle name we had considered for him. When I updated his record when he started nursery (I applied before he was born), I genuinely had to get out the birth certificate to find out what his (really rather too dull) middle name was. I wouldn't have forgotten the one I wished I'd given him.

I wanted to do this
DH too much of a sensible chops
Wish I had just ignored him
I'd go for it given the chance again

Radio 4 program recently about people with ww1 battles as middle names - passed down through the years - teenage girl in there with middle name of passchendale!
Also apparently used to feminize battle names e.g Verduna,
I thought interesting

My DH and I are watching this thread with interest...due in 4 weeks and we have both first and middle names but yeah, the middle one is quite rare.

Not rare as in "Jay-Z" but rare as in "Victorian reformer".

My nephews and neice have unusual middle names

Think cartoon characters

Like micky mouse...minnie mouse

I'm all for imaginative and unusual names (within reason), but a word of caution re startlingly-different-to-first-and-surname middle names:

Felt so sorry for a teenage lad at my Dr's, clearly mortified by the sniggering which broke out when the electronic display announced to a packed waiting room that the next patient was Mr David Geronimo Smith*...

• [Geronimo truly was his actual middle name: his First/ Surname were as commonplace and 'safe' as my "David" and "Smith" example].

It was the unexpected contrast that somehow drew more attention to it (maybe Copernicus Geronimo Bonnington-Fortescue might have stunned any mockers into silence!!).

Is it even possible for sensitive-natured souls to insist on use of middle name initial(s) only, in that sort of situation?

Sidenote:
Wonder if there'll be any baby boys named "Cormoran" suddenly appearing, in honour of Strike?

OP,
(Though Wilberforce is great, with the abolitionist connection) I really like Orion from your list.

I know of 2 boys with fairly normal first names but both of their middle names are after Transformers! My first thought when I heard it was how cool! and no way would I have been brave enough to do it myself!

If we don't use Wilburforce for DS then I'm saving it for the next dog!

It's funny those don't seem too out there to some - but then we've started from the position of them being first names before we decided we are just too boring for that!

If we aren't going to damage him, then we'll go for one of our choices. I might go back through the list again to find one that flows nicely.

You've put my mind at rest, thank you!

Will we damage our child with an "out there" middle name?

No.

My sister has a very very unusual middle name which she hates. It's not damaged her and she hasn't gone to the extent of changing it by deed poll but she never uses it and was very embarrassed by having to say it when she got married. As someone with a very unusual first name that I love I'm relatively pro interesting names (that are actual names, I don't like surnames, seasons or objects as names) but I do think parents should think carefully when picking names from obscurity.

I don't think middle names matter at all. If you like yours you can use it, if not it doesn't matter. My middle name is fine, a bit meh... I don't think anyone at work would know it. Probably a third of my friends know it. DP on the other hand uses his as his first and last name as super common so for work and email etc purposes he uses three names.

Well, everyday's a learning experience here on Mumsnet, isn't it?

Apparently, Richard Gere's MN is Tiffany, and Quincy Jones has the glory of Delight as his.

Someone on another thread wanted to call her DD Angel. Now there's a name begging for the middle name Delight.

My Dd has an unusual middle name; a handful of people know what it is and it really has no bearing on anything.

MikeUniformMum,

Angel Delight!

^ MikeUniformMike, even.

Autumnal I remember a thread a while ago where OP had called her DS Geronimo as a FIRST name and was rather living to regret it I think - can't remember the details tho!

Fizzy,

Wow. Well, can only hope that perhaps the lad in question will grow up confident and loving it himself (which he may well do, who knows?), styling it out because it suits him, and more than able to shut down any negative or teasing comments about it.

So much also depends on what's perceived as the 'norm' to people you're surrounded by/ circles you move in: I suppose if his friendship circle is full of similarly-named kids, maybe from more alternative/ creative families, then it's the "Johns" and "Jacks" who stand out and attract more attention?

Either that, or he decides only to answer to "Gerry", "Ron" or "Mo"!

I know a Wilberforce and a Hunter and a Caleb, hey my sil's middle name is Gordon 😃

I don't think any of those are weird at all, they definitely shouldn't raise any eyebrows. But then I do live somewhere with a fairly high number of Wolfies etc. I met a Marmaduke today.

Caleb is a perfectly normal, top 100 name.