Middle name regret

[MrsNai]

Just a quick query for advice please.

Before giving birth DH and I discussed baby names and decided on a first name and middle name. Both names were great-grandparent first names, one from my family and one from his. After birth we discussed names again and I suggested a non-family name as middle name rather than my great-grandparent's name as that name was a more old fashioned name.

Now baby has been registered and some weeks have passed I am regretting not sticking to our original names. Largely just because in my family we were always given a name of an older relative and I worry that our baby now has a name from DH's family and then a middle name picked just because we liked it.

DH's family do not have a history of using relative's names.

When asked why we picked the names we have just said because we like them.

Am I needlessly worrying and regretting not including a name from my family as a middle name? Does a middle name make much of a difference anyway?

Just after some reassurance that this regret will pass.

If it's worrying you enough to write a post why not just go and add a third name in?

We just picked names that we liked choosing to avoid any kind of family politics about whose name we had chosen. There doesn't need to be a reason for a name chosen.

You might just think it sounds nice, has a strong meaning etc. There doesn't need to be any family connection at all.

Just leave it. I think we always question ourselves, after making our name choice, I always have anyway. 😄
You chose it, because you like it !

Would you feel this bad if the name you gave up was really horrendous - Adolf, say?

All said and done, it really is just a name. You aren't actively and maliciously dishonouring a relative (if so, you could argue you are dishonouring every other male relative whose name you didn't use!).

You chose names you like, and unless you ended up with a name like Rolf Harris Smith, stick with your gut feeling.

Thank you for the replies.

Think that really I was just getting in a flap because being entrusted with such a huge decision made me doubt the choice made and overthink.

It has really helped me to put my mind at ease. Especially as I like the first name and really a middle name is seldom used.

Spoke to my DH about it too and he pointed out that I needn't worry as right now our baby happily responds to be called cheeky bugger so is clearly not fussed by names.

OP remember you always have the option of using your other family name if you have another baby. We were in the same position. We used my DH's family name as a middle name for first DC, then our second got one from my family. Worked perfectly x

At the end of the day, middle names are effectively useless, and I say that as someone who gave all of my children middle names. I haven't used my own since I was old enough to start filling out forms on my own, and my middle name is a family name.

Also, for what it's worth, both my first and middle names are family names and I don't like it. I was adamant with all of my children that they would not have family names, or names similar to family members'. They're individual people, and I think their name should reflect that.

Middle names aren't really used. They are handy if there are two children with the same first and second name in a class. This happened with my neighbour.

In that case both boys have a name that's already a shortened version of the original so can't have (for example) one known as James and one as Jamie. One boy had a middle name so teacher would call out Jamie or Jamie Wilson for one and Jamie Arthur or Jamie Arthur Wilson for the other.

Otherwise no-one ever really mentions them after the first few weeks/months.

Add the second middle name in!

I know this is a few years on now. But I am now in the same situation. What did you do. X

Have just messaged you. Basically I just decided that my child is special and his name becomes special through him. There are echoes of family members in his passions, his gait, his eyes and his walk but in a weird way although I regret his name not echoing my own family I also hope that it enables him to move forward in life unshackled from being compared to a namesake.

Thank you so much ❤️❤️