If you're thinking "I love the name, but I don't think I'm brave enough to use iit"

[BertrandRussell]

Please, I beg you, just remember, it's not you that will have to be brave.

DD has an unusual name. She likes it. There are two children in the class who often have to correct supply teachers about their names. One is DD. The other is called Charlie. The child who cried because of being teased about her name is an Alice. And the two who have changed their names were originally Megan and Theo.

But no, your parents tell people your name for 3-4 years of your life- the rest of the time it's down to you. In the million or so discussions I've had about my name, my parents have barely entered into it. I am the one who deals with it everyday, not them.

'Baby Bertrand'

They thought Bertrand was a lovely feminine name.........and I could be Andi, or even Randi if I didn't like it.......

Yes Bertrand is a strong unisex name and Randi is very brave

Randi Russell is a beautiful, classic name OP! But I bet you were one of 10 Randis in your class....

histiny But I don't think introducing yourself as an unusual name takes much bravery if it's always been your name. It's just who you are. Your parents have to be brave in taking the plunge and going for it and trusting you'll like it in the future.

I can see both sides of this argument, of course, but my parents had another much more unusual name in mind for me and they said they couldn't bring themselves to be brave enough to go for it, and I wish they had.

Hmm I will never ever be convinced that the parents of people with unusual names were 'brave'.

Even Randi Russell's parents.

None of that is remotely brave to me.

It sort of depends though.

Ds is born and will probably be raised in Sweden. Dh Swedish, I'm British. Originally we wanted to go for a name that worked well in both countries but actually we couldn't think of anything that:
A. Wasn't taken by immediate family
B. Wasn't too weird in either language
C. Pronounceable in both languages easily.

Loads of girls names - Anna, Sofia etc that would have worked great. But only about ten boys names that worked and all were either dads/uncles/cousins.

So in the end we thought 'fuck it' and went for something that's not toonuncommon here but sounds a bit Full Viking in English (it's not Ragnar, or Loke, but it's of that ilk.)

That did take a bit of bravery because it felt like we were sort of cutting off his Britishness. So yes, there was a sort of 'let's be Brave' moment for us.

Incidentally there's a Ragnar, a Loke, and a Tor (Thor) at kindergarten 😁

Both my DS have unusual names and ordinary middle names. So far everyone has loved them. When they're older they can use their middle names if they wish or change them altogether, it's up to them.
I have a boring v 80s name and I HATE it, wish my parents had had a bit more creativity, I don't even have a middle name. Wish I'd changed it.

I would class names that you had to be 'brave' to use as being grandiose mythological ones. So names like Phoenix and Blaze are unusual and out there, but most people would let it past without comment - or at most 'that's unusual'. A person called Beowulf on the other hand probably gets a sinking feeling every time they have to introduce themselves to someone. I think there is a wide margin between yet another Jack and going full Beowulf.

I didn't realise people thought other parents were 'brave' for naming someone else something unusual.

It does explain a lot though.

To me an unusual name is fine, so long as it's not a made up one or an ordinary name with a messed about spelling (eg Karron). However I'm a great believer in names that have been around for a while, as they are less likely to go out of fashion. Eg Catherine, Jane, Philippa, Matilda, Anne, Frances, Charlotte, Louise, Isabella, Emily, Sophia have all been around for hundreds of years.

PokemonDont - you are still thinking in terms of naming a child, not an adult. The parents are the ones to defend the name for the first what, 15% of the 'bravely' named person's life. After that, it's them that has a CV that gets sniggered over, that has to introduce themselves to colleagues and customers, who has potential dates ask things like "no seriously, what's your name?" when trying to pull the most stunning person in the bar, who has to battle to get a fair hearing after judgements made about what sort of person they are based on the name alone...

Of course you can change your name as an adult, but then if you have already gained qualifications and work experience in the old name, you won't be able to escape it.

My appeal for 'brave' parents, give them a sensible/dull middle name with a common spelling. Then at least they can be "Ms/r. Z. Jane/John Smith" in the workplace with minimum fuss.

Bertrand, I think your posts are the ones on Mumsnet that make me think above all others!! You, along with Buffy and LRD, are probably the reasons why I am feminist today!! Just wanted to tell you that!!!

I gave my DD a highly unusual Irish name (I am Irish) and my mum told me straight away with a screwed up face that she 'wasn't sure about that....' as if it was a real stinker of a name!!

My DH is Prod (he calls himself that) so never heard of it...but I loved it and insisted!! She got his surname so I choose her first name!! 😜My now seven-years-old DD loves her name and takes great pleasure in it! Sometimes bravery pays off!!

InvisibleKittenAttack No, you've misunderstood me. As I said upthread, I'm an adult and I hate my very safe classic name of Charlotte (which has been mentioned in this very thread as a great name to choose!)

I know adults with extremely unusual names - a Pendragon, a Merlin (they don't know each other!) and a Cordelia just off the top of my head - and they've never once said "I wish I was a David/Laura" or felt they had to be brave... they all love their names. Yet I have always been inevitably the third Charlotte in the office, or the second Charlotte someone's dated, or whatever... it sucks. So it's by no means guaranteed that a "safe" name means its owner will be happy with it.

There's obviously a difference between a slightly out-there name that parents wonder if they should use, and a completely batshit name that would just obviously be cruel to give someone (say, Zowie Bowie...). It's just that a lot of the time making a "brave" choice, for some people, just means choosing something outside the top 100.

Mostly I just want to appeal to people to stop naming their poor daughters Charlotte. It really is such a boring name.

I don't think a name like Cordelia can be classed as being in the same league as Pendragon. I don't even thinks its in the same league as Merlin (which is at least a first name).
Cordelia is rare but recognisably a name without any weird connections (unless someone is big into King Lear -but people get called Juliet all the time so that's not a problem)
Merlin is a bit hippyish, people might raise eyebrows, but you'd get over it soon enough.
Pendragon is just nuts. I think its crueller than 'Zowie' tbh

Merlin is fairly common amongst old Welsh blokes.

People are probably more likely to associate Cordelia with Buffy than Shakespear nowadays.

And who wouldn't want to be named after the one and only Cordelia Chase? Vision girl, higher power and queen bee - its an excellent name.

I guess the responses to those three names partly prove that a name that is crazy to some people is pretty normal to others. Unless it's Pendragon (he usually goes by Pen, to be fair).

Pokemon, be grateful for Charlotte. I got one even more 'popular'!
At least you can get a couple of decent abreviations out of it.

Not convinced OP.

Whilst I wouldn't have called my son Marion, I wish we'd been braver tbh. They have solid (boring?) names.

In this day and age, with so much global movement when not everyone you know is John or Jane, or modern Jack or Chloe equivalent, there's room for a bit more name excitement.