Am I the only one who hates shortenings?

[Celestia26]

I know this is a strange thing to post but does anyone else hate shortenings or nicknames? It seems to be a popular subject and I'm always seeing threads such as 'I like this nickname but don't like the longer name, what else can I use as a bc name?'. I don't really get this. I feel like you should name your child a name you like, not just one that you can derive a likable nickname from? I personally gave my children names that cannot be shortened, simply because I like the name and that's what I have called them. For example: 'I like Kit, but don't like Christopher, what else can I use?' I don't get it!!! Am I alone? Surely if you like a name, you should use it without needing a 'Sunday best' name. Sometimes these nicknames bear little resemblance to their birth certificate counterpart!

Depends on the shortening.

Lillian to Lily is fine.
Arabella to Bella is fine.
Samuel to Sam is fine.
Raymond to Ray is fine.

Madeleine to Maddie is not fine.
Alexandra to Alex is not fine.
(Can't even think of comparable male names).

Some shortenings are equally as nice as the formal name; some are shit compared with the formal name. I think giving your child a longer name with a shortening you like is a good thing as it gives them more options in life and allows them to avoid the "Is it short for..." questions that they'll inevitably get if you use the name Maddie instead of Madeleine/Madison.

I'm kind of in two minds about this subject: I was born in the 90s and was given (at the time) a unusual name for a girl. Alot of people thought I was a boy before meeting me and upon seeing me for the first time would ask if my name was short for Charlotte. The thing is I would have loved if my friends/family gave me a nn/shortening but no one ever did it's was always just Charley. I've spent my whole life answering the questions of 'Isn't that a boys name?' 'Is it short for something else?' 'Why is it spelt that way and not 'ie' at the end?'. It can get a little annoying at times. BUT - I also love some shortenings and nn so whilst it annoys me with my name, it probably wouldn't annoy me as much with my child's name.

Choose a name you love and let possible nicknames evolve naturally.

My kids' names rarely get shortened, neither does mine. My close family sometimes call me by a nickname but that's not even that related to my name.

Yes I'm with you OP. My DC have names that can't be shortened and don't have obvious nicknames. They do have nicknames that we use but ones that have evolved over the years.
When my DC have friends who have long names but they're sometimes called the short version but then the parents use the long version, I'm never sure what to call them. My friend has a David (not his actual name) and she absolutely hates it if he gets called Dave but then she calls him D but doesn't like other people to. It's very confusing.

Why the snobbiness over what OTHER people choose as name. My daughter is a scottish/Irish name. Hubby and I liked it, he didn't want the gaelic spelling, I use a Scots shortened version of the name, and she has at least 3 possible shortening that people use as an affectionate use of the name. She can use whatever she wants when grown.

I'm not being snobby at all. I think other people are too easily offended by what is a simple question. I'm not being rude and I don't mind or care what other people do or do not call their children. The shortening craze is something I just don't understand. In my family we don't have this.....we are called our name and that's it. No one needs to get their knickers in a twist over it! Possibly I have hit a nerve......whatever.

Is it a craze?

People have shortened their names forever. Jack, Harry, Millie, Kate, Lizzie........they're hardly modern names.

I too have a short name and both the names my friends and family call me are longer than my actual name. It also used to get lengthened to something for my 'when you're in trouble' name, ie Lucy to Lucinda.

I've ceased to be annoyed about it although I do get a bit 'pearl clutchy' when someone I don't know very well uses one of my 'friends and family' versions. Feels a bit too intimate but I realise that's probably my issue. I don't really like shortening people's names unless I know them really well.

I think shortenings can be the least of a child's worries (watching crazy baby name thread in astonishment...)

I deliberately chose names with a nice short version. I have a long name myself which can be shortened in various ways. I like being able to introduce myself as 'Psammead' in certain situations, and I like being Psam to a certain group of people, and Psammy to others. My nicknames have evolved with me, over time.

I want the same options for my children. I am not so controlling as to demand that they only ever get called the exact name I want - they have/will have plenty of people in their lives with whom they will have different relationships, not just me, and I think that their nicknames will reflect this to an extent. And if they want to stick to only their birth certificate name forever, and for everyone, that's an option too.

I can't see the point in carefully choosing a name and then actually calling your child something totally different. People should choose and use the name they love

And choose a name which is suitable for an adult, not just a cute baby.

I am in the camp of give your child the long name, then they can choose if they want to be the shorter name. I remember someone saying to me years ago that he liked being Michael because he could choose what to call himself (and said if he'd been a lawyer he'd have been Michael, if he'd been a bricklayer he'd have been Mick, but because he was a engineer he called himself Mike).

But if he'd been called Mike it would have been difficult to pretend he was Michael if he wasn't.

I know someone who is Betty and she has not forgiven her parents for not calling her Elizabeth. Funnily enough she sometimes receives post addressed to Mrs E Surname - people just assume she's Elizabeth.

I'm on the fence here. I have a name that is not naturally shortened but I am referred to as only the first syllable, which I like as it's a term of endearment. My dbil however drives me nuts by trying to refer to me as that same syllable twice, so by default uses the first half of my name twice makibgbut just as long as my original name. Hate it!!
My ds however has a name which technically could be longer with an extra syllable but his name is a name of it's own right as it's a place as the 2 syllables and I do dislike people trying to vary it.
One rule for me..another for my ds...

It's more the.....
"I like Jem but don't like Jeremiah, so what else can I use...?"
"I want to use the name Kit, but don't like Christopher, what else can I use as a long name...?"
These are the statements that make me scratch my head.
It's like some people start with a nickname or shortening and go from there rather than choose a name and let the shortening or nickname evolve afterwards. That was my point.

Totally agree Mulledwine1

Because you aren't naming a baby. You are naming a person, who will be an adult for far longer than they are a small child. Full names give that adult options.

OP I think it's because they don't believe Jem or Kit to be names to suit all ages/professions so want to keep their child's options open whilst still using a name (shortening) they love. To me it's sensible.

Sorry, but putting a shortened name on a birth certificate is common.

As are parents who choose weird spellings of traditional names.

I like the friend name/public name distinction too. When I was at school my friends coined a short version of my name that my parents hadn't foreseen - that is now my name amongst friends to the extent that they would never call me my full name or have forgotten it, however with work colleagues etc I prefer to use my full name. The weird bit is at what point someone is enough of a friend to start using the short version, which they might not take to after months of using the full one! I have a couple of friends who are known by the surname (public school boys natch) to the extent that it is odd to hear their first names used. I think it's nice.

I'm not being snobby at all. I think other people are too easily offended by what is a simple question. I'm not being rude and I don't mind or care what other people do or do not call their children. The shortening craze is something I just don't understand. In my family we don't have this.....we are called our name and that's it. No one needs to get their knickers in a twist over it! Possibly I have hit a nerve......whatever.

It's not really a craze though is it? people have been doing this for centuries! If anything it's probably more unusual not to use shortened names! You do come across as snobby even if it's not your intention. It's a non issue for most people. I only gave my example to open your mind slightly as sometimes there's a really good personal reason and you might not have thought of that.

SuperBeagle who on Earth are you to decide which short names are suitable and which aren't? that's even crazier than hating all short names.

dd2's name started as a nickname. I dreamt that it was her name, and it was just right, but I couldn't really call her it as a birth certificate name (I literally couldn't use it, it's a boys' name, and there are quite strict rules about that where we live) so called her the full version.

Interestingly, she has never been called that original nickname, but rather a different one. Think 'Bill' with the birth certificate showing 'Willhemina' but we call her 'Mina'.

I secretly hope that the original dreamt name will become her cool teenage nickname

I was always made to feel 'wrong' for not wanting my babies names to be shortened!! Now they are adults, my daughters gets shortened by her friends and even I have been known to use the shortened version on occation (think Liz instead of Elizabeth!) but generally all 3 are known by there full names

My sister however has shortened/changed each of her 3 daughters names and I cant get into calling the girls by the new names!! So they scowl when I use their 'proper' names and its not deliberate, the new names just dont come naturally!

I'm sorry for coming across as snobby, really not intentional. I understand that shortening of names is common and there are all different reasons for it. The thing I don't get (and perhaps not putting it simply enough) is for people to like a shortening but feel that they need a longer name that they might not like as much as the short version but feel like they have to.

Why is Samuel/Sam fine but Alexandra/Alex not?

Both my DC have long and short names. One we knew we would always shorten, the other has developed into a particular shortening.

I like that they have the choice.

I also get why people just want Kit, Betty etc.

However, I never understand why people act as if this a modern thing and kids haven't been called Matthew/Matt, Stephen/Steve, Elizabeth/Liz for generations.

I must say, I would have let a beloved 'nickname' name go, if it meant I hated the longer version. I'd have to be happy with the long version.

I have an aunt who refuses to call dd1 by her nickname, but who pronounces her birth certificate name incorrectly. She tells us she uses it 'because it's her name', which is fair enough, it is her name and I like it a lot, but not the way she pronounces it, and especially not as she has a daughter called Alison who she only ever calls 'Ali'