Baby last name

[PlMummy]

Looking for advice , iv got a daughter and pregnant with my second child, the father of the second is not the father of my first, my partner wants the child I'm pregnant with to have his last name, but I want baby to have my last name so that both my kids have the same lastname, and so my first child dosnt feel pushed out. Really stuck on what to do...... any advice would be appreciated

I'm not sure there's a 'right' and a 'wrong' here, just what your heart is telling you. I've never been in this situation but if I was I think I would give your new baby your surname, so that it was the same as you and your other child. Then if you and your partner marry, you have to option of changing all of your surnames to his (if you want to). My now husband and I had our son before we got married (he hadn't proposed yet), I gave my son his surname thinking it wouldn't be an issue, but I soon found that I absolutely hated having a different surname to my child. My opinion is that children should have their mothers surname until or unless the parents are married, or double barrell it.

I'd go for DCfirstname FatherSurname MotherSurname.
Not keen on double barrelling (personal taste not my baby).
Then you and your kids would have the same surname.

I would give your child your surname. It makes perfect sense under the circumstances. And even if there wasn't a sibling last name issue to consider, it might still make perfect sense if that's what you want.

You can double barrel it, of course, but your last name should definitely be part of the surname.

Probably just use a double barrelled name

If you're not married, for legal reasons I would most definitely use your surname.

Then if you and your partner marry, you have to option of changing all of your surnames to his (if you want to).

Or, radical idea alert, he could change his name to match the rest of you.

Or your baby could have both names. I kept my name on marriage. DD has DH's surname and my surname as her second middle name.

First name, his name, your name

Thanks everyone, been a big help! 🙂

Your name or both names. Definitely not his surname alone though.

Your name. There's already 2 people in the family with your name.
He can change to yours too if he likes.

That's what I'm definitely going to do, my surname or double barrel. Whether he likes it or not. It's difficult when he makes such a big issue out of it, making me feel guilty for wanting baby in my last name and not his.

I would give the child your surname if I was you. He can change his name x

Give it your name. Why should you feel guilty for giving it your name when clearly he wouldn't feel in the least guilty if it had his?

That is true, I have nothing to feel guilty about:)

Definitely your surname.