Ex's name as middle name?

[MalcolmInTheMiddle]

If DC1 is a boy, DP would like his middle name to be the same as his middle name, which DP also shares with his own dad.
DP's dad passed away when DP was 10, so this is quite important to him, it would be his way of including his dad.
I really like the name and ordinarily wouldn't have any problem at all, however the name is my ex husbands first name.
Would anyone else find this a bit weird? I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I think other people (family, friends, colleagues etc.) might find it a little bit strange and if they don't know the actual reason behind the name, what will they think?!
The actual name itself I have no issue with, I think it's lovely and I really want DP to honour his dad with the name too but I don't know. Something to me just seems a bit weird. I can't work out if I'm just bothered about other people judging me though.
DP would never force this name to be the middle name and has said he will completely understand if I don't want it, but I know he'd be secretly quite upset if it was a no.
What would you do? And what would you think as an outsider looking in?

I would use it.

Depends how unusual the name is. if it's something like Lancelot then no, but if it's a common name like James or Martin then yes.

I would use it. It'll be a middle name which isn't used day to day, and once you explain the connection it'll be fine. If your DH is happy about it then I don't think it's an issue at all.

I agree with MikeUniformMike (ha ha, great screen name)
If it's James, Andrew, George, James, Patrick, John......... then nobody will even bat an eyelid. If it's really unusual then it's trickier but when you announce it you can say "Percival after DH's father"

I would use it, your DP doesn't have a problem with it and I'm sure no one else will think too much about it.

Could you use DH's dads first name instead?

ps, it is nearly 10 years since I left my awful abusive x and now I might be getting closer to a man with the same name. It's a strange factor. Five years ago it would have put me off completely. I'd have shut him right down. Now I can cope, because it's not weird between us, but if it ever gets to the point of needing to tell people, then I'd be embarrassed.

We agonised for weeks over our kids' middle names, the truth is after letting everyone know the names, they've never been uttered since.
Given that your dp feels strongly I think it's fine.

Thank you. My DP's dad has the same name as my ex and I would give it as a middle name if we had a son. It's quite a common name and they used different forms of it. A bit like if DP's dad was Bill and ex was William, I'd be happy for DS to be David William DPssurname.

Thanks for all your opinions. That's made me feel a bit less weird.
It's a pretty run of the mill name. I wish it was something as exciting as Lancelot or Percival!
I suggested using his dads first name, which would be our second choice, but we like the thought of him (if it is a him- I could be worrying for no reason!) being the third generation to have the same middle name.

Would you be ok with it?

So long as it doesn't remind you of an awful ex or anything I'd use it.

Personally for me anything that remotely reminds me of ex makes my skin crawl so I couldn't do it, but that's because ex was horrible.

I'd be fine with it. I do like the name and there would be no question other than it is ExH's name and I stupidly care what other people think.
ExH wasn't abusive or mean or anything- it wasn't a horrible relationship, we were just very young and probably shouldn't have got married in the first place, but that's being 21 and in Vegas for you!

I wouldn't think twice about it.

yes use it

Yes, use it.

I'd use it if your DH is okay with the idea, it would be him that would have more reason to feel weird about it I think. For example it would make me feel a bit uneasy to name my child after my DH's ex.

In regard to worrying about what people think, I wouldn't worry if it is a run of the mill name. In addition, being a middle name it will barely be mentioned beyond the birth announcement anyway!

I've married two men with the same first name! So yeah, it doesn't matter. After a very short time it will become DS' name.