Why do so many people choose the same names?

[burnishedgold]

Don't get me wrong, Isabelle, Grace, George etc are all nice names, but it would totally take the shine of it for me if there were likely to be 2/3 kids with the same name in their group.

To be fair, I grew up with a super odd name which I have never lived, but it does surprise me that people choose names knowing there will be people in the same class with the same name. Maybe because I've never had that experience...but still seems odd, especially when there are lots of names which aren't unusual but which aren't everywhere

Names are generally popular either because they are lovely, classic names, or because they become trendy due to a film, TV show, celebrity baby etc. As others have said, if you haven't really been around young children before having your own, you won't know what names are popular unless you are the kind of person who studies the top 100 lists. Most people don't do this and just choose a name because they like it.

My DD has a 'classic' name that was top 10 until recently. Its popularity bothered me a bit, but it had been my favourite girls' name since childhood so we went with it anyway. She is the only one in her nursery with the name so far.

It has nothing to do at all with wanting to stand out or blend in!

It is simply a practical issue of having a name that actually identifies you (without having to add a y initial or other adjective).

And a less trendy name avoids being associated with a particular era (e.g. Sarah or Sharon in the 70s or Evie and Ella in the 2010s etc).

I love my (fairly uncommon) name and have never ever even thought about 'fitting in' less or 'standing out' more because of it. I want to be known for who I am and people to associate me when they hear my name.

I agree with you. I love thr name Olivia but it was the first most popular name when DD was born so I chose a totally different one. She would have been one of three in her class now!
I gree up being one of three in my class and always wished for a different name. I gave DD a name that is very unusual (french) but the short for it is common/popular so she can choose whatever she wants.
Then again some friends of us called their DS Jack after his hrandad and they did not care how popular it is.

Because some people know and don't care.

Or because they think they are being original but are subconsciously being shaped by the same fashions as everyone else. I call this the 'Lily and Noah phenomenon'. Usually these are names that are inherently nice sounding. So why is Claire (an inherently nice sounding name) not popular now as it was in the 70s)? Because people got bored of it and associated it with their own generation and that didn't fit what they wanted for the DCs. Why did people not choose Noah before the 2010s? Because it's inherently nice sounding but only the more daring parents would go there due to the ark connection. Once that was broken by more and more Noahs, it became an option.

I disagree with it being down to celebrities. If that were true, why don't we see lots of teenage Davids? (Beckham) or Brooklyns? We do see a lot of girls called Ava- a typical celeb's choice for their daughters, but relatively safe, pretty and not too out there and with no disliked abbreviations ('Dave'). Actually celebrities are influenced by the same trends as us.

A lot of it is sounds. Hence lots of boy's names ending in 'o' and girls' names containing the letter 'l' in recent few years. It was totally predictable that Arlo would be the next big thing- it has the initial 'A of Archie and Alfie, and the final 'O' of names like Leo, Milo etc.

I think it's a shame when parents rule out a name they love, just because it's 'too popular', because what does it really matter? Who cares if your son is (using the #1 boy's name here in the States) one of however many Noahs born in a year, because to you he's the only Noah that matters?!

The list of names DH and I have for DD (due July) is all over the place in terms of usage. Some are popular, others are in steady use but not used in huge numbers, and others are pretty rare. Every name on our list we love, their popularity isn't a factor.

The only names we have actively try to avoid, are 'trendy' names, which come to into fashion rapidly, but then fall out of fashion just as quickly, and therefore date easily. DH has once such name, which suddenly became hugely popular in the 70s and 80s (here in the States), but then fell out of favor rapidly. It is now one of the stereotypical 70s/80s 'jock' names in the US, and DH hates it, and professionally he uses his perennially popular classic middle name.

Pencil - would your name really determine whether you "blend it" or "stand out"
What a silly reason for choosing a name

I picked a name for my first DD and lived it , it wasn't until my daughter started nursery etc I began to notice how popular it was.... it has been in the top ten for recent years , she is ten and it still grates on me .
I made sure my newborns name was not in the top 100

Surely Arlo was the name of the boy in the Dinosaur movie and Noah was the sexy male lead in The Affair.

I hadn't heard of them much before then.

I've heard so many Arlo's. It reminds me of a puppy name I'm afraid...

We named our little girl Isabelle 2 years ago, had no idea it was such a popular name, first time parents and didn't look at baby name lists. So this time around we looked at the name lists and chose an outsider, Autumn, ranked 158 in 2015 and only 368 babies given that name. Since she was born last year I've met 10 other babies called Autumn! Can't believe we've somehow managed to choose a name that is rapidly rising in popularity.

Wow, 10 babies named Autumn! I've never met anyone names Autumn.

I know Gruffallo! I reckon Autumn is going along the same lines as Willow. We almost named DD2 Willow but when I saw the sudden increase in popularity we decided to avoid as we didn't want a trendy name.

I think it is because the people who go for popular names are the ones who need approval from others.

What fascinates me is when names are revived from previous generations. Names which it would be ridiculous to call a baby 20 years ago are noe

I always wonder why people have to try so hard to be different? It always looks a little desperate to me when you see a parent has clearly just chosen the most random name they can think of

That's very judgmental of you. Maybe they just really loved the name.

Posted too soon!
Now bang on trend, such as Wilfred, Margot etc. The thought of a baby Betty was hilarious when my son was born 23 years ago, yet I know of a couple now and no one bats an eyelid.
Is it as each generation dies off, their names become popular again?
I suppose the next generation of names to become popular will be my mum's, so stand by for Muriel, Marjorie, Doris etc. They may sound alien now, but Lily, Jack, Charlie and Rosie sounded alien 25 years ago, and probably Charlotte and Emily 25 years before that.
I find it fascinating.

Pencil - would your name really determine whether you "blend it" or "stand out"

Not in quite such simple terms, but in a way, yes. Some people don't like to attract attention and want to be the same as everyone else. As shown by many people on this thread.

As for popular names being popular because they are just inherently nicer... That's just daft. Surely the top 10 would always be the same, if that were the case?

Some people just like more unusual names because once they have known 50 people all called the same thing, it becomes less appealing to them. They're not being deliberately obtuse, they just find less popular names more appealing.

I think it funny when people come on here to say they definitely don't want a popular name but want an opinion on whether posters prefer Rebula Conundrum or Spodo Comodo. I always wonder does everyone saying how much they love Rabula mean that the poster will definitely choose that or definitely not choose it to avoid it being popular.

I think the popularity of names is probably more discussed now but infinitely less significant than for our parents' or grandparents' generations. There are far more names in general use now, especially for girls, and the overall numbers of Olivers or whatever the number 1 name now is, will be way smaller than the overall number of Johns or other top tens in the 1950s for example. In my secondary school class of 24, there were four Fionas. My teacher spoke of a previous class 25 years earlier where she had 13 Marys.

Interestingly my own name is pretty uncommon though not unheard of - I was the only one in my year theoughout school and college. However I once worked in a small office with seven women, and not one, not two but three others had my name! It was a rare experience for me.

Overall, you can't predict what others will do so go with the name you love. It seems that if you love Isabelle but instead choose Araminta because it is less popular, you are actually far more influenced by others than the parent who chooses the popular name that they love.

I don't get it, either.
I loved choosing my DC's names.
Like a PP said, it's fascinating. Meanings, trends, variants.

Even as a schoolgirl, way back when, I would always look up the meaning of a character's name, and imagine calling my future child by it (I was only ever having one!).

It still makes me smile to myself when I meet someone who couldn't be less appropriately named - think a white blonde Pauline, or a Winona with 3 big sisters!

What I really don't 'get' is the concept of the 'sibset'. My own DS's names are of decidedly different 'types'.7y old DS'so is frequently held up as an example of a 'normal, ordinary' name, yet we've not come across another in 7 years of baby/toddler groups and school, and it hasn't 'charted' in decades.
DS1, on the other hand, was given a name that was unusual at the time. It turned out to be a real 'marmite' name. My sister announced that she would be calling him by a diminutive of it! I loved his name, though, and have to admit to being gutted at it's current popularity. Fortunately, they both have plenty of middle names to choose from, if they get bored with theirs!

Especially as the government publishes lists of popular names, it's so easy to avoid those already trendy names.

Sure, any name might rise in popularity, but by avoiding the current top100 you stand a good chance of there not being 2or 3 in the same class.

In my area of South London, there are way more unusual names knocking about than the top 20 list ones. Which means I feel safer using one, on the basis that there probably won't be several in the year group at school.

BUT name trends can be very regional, and creep up very suddenly from one year to the next. Someone up-thread mentioned Arlo, which is definitely on a steep rise here. The year my DD was born you couldn't attend a baby group without there being a baby Leo in it, but I don't think it's even in the top 10?! So you might not know in advance of naming you child necessarily.

Yeah, you can definitely get weird pockets of popularity. I knew I would be so frustrated if I picked a name I liked less just to end up coming across several of those and none of the name we really loved. Best advice is to pick a name you love whether it is number 1 or number 1000.

When I was at school there was a sib set Elijah, Violet, Stanley and Florence.
My mum said amongst the playground parents there were a lot of people who wrinkled their noses at it or would comment to their mum how unusual those names were. Now look!
I have a DS with a name in top 10 -completely unintentional. He's named after a painting my Grandma owned and loved and I had absolutely no idea it was popular as I only knew 1 adult with the name.
DS2 has an unusual name (as in it doesn't rank anywhere near 100) but I see it mentioned/suggested on here constantly.
My (teenage) sister is Evie, my parents were devastated when it became hugely popular.
When I was at school Connor, George, Katie and Ella were the top contenders maybe gives away my age

I think the more you hear a name the more it comes to mind when naming a child. Even just subconsciously

I was born in the 80s so half the girls in my year were Sarah or Louise. I have an unusual first name and extremely popular middle name. I never really liked either. I hated not being able to find anything with my name on when I was a child. I just don't like the sound of either of my names. My parents deliberately did Unusual Popular so I had a choice, they also went for something difficult to shorten. My sister has the same Unusual Popular but hers is more popular and has become more so in the last decade.

I agree with PP that more names are around now so the number 1 name now isn't as popular as the number 1 name a few decades ago.

I do Brownies and Guides so know far more girls than boys. Lots of Isabel variants, Evie, Grace, poppy.