Baby name etiquette

[LokisSister]

I never thought this would bother me.

My dc have classic names- ds is just climbing into the top 100 and ds is now in the top 10.

Pregnant with ds2. Most people know I'm having a boy but only close family know what I'm calling him.

Cousin just announced on Facebook she's having a boy and calling him The same name I've chosen. It will be the same first and last name but different middle name.

Whilst I know no one owns a name, it's upset me. She was one of the few people that knew what I was calling him and it's tainted it for me.
I'm due 10 weeks before her and I am still going to use the name (it's a modernised version of my grandad and uncles (on my mums side, she's related on my dads side) who both passed away)
I know it has no significant meaning to her which is what is annoying me the most. I've had to block her as in the past 4 days there's been over 20 posts with 'can't wait for x to be here' 'look what I've bought for x' etc and it feels like she's trying to rub it in and claim the name before I use it. I've messaged her and told her I'm upset but she's read and not replied.

Sorry, there's no meaning really to posting this but I'd rather write it here than keep it inside.

I'm not a facebooky type person - I only use it for the free messenger calls so for me to retaliate through that medium would be an obvious dig and could lead to a row which I don't want (I'm hormonal so would probably spend the whole time crying)

My close family know what I'm calling him and have done since January so I'm just going to focus on that, I don't really care if she tells her friends I've copied her as I know I haven't, I'm just worried about future in school etc.

I'm not changing my little boys name, I've been calling him it for weeks and have bonded with him, talking to him and can't think of him as anything else so I'll just have to see how it pans out.

Thanks for all the lovely advice

Stick to your guns then OP, you'll regret it otherwise.

Reply to the message with -" how cool, my Vinnie will have a minnie Vinnie cousin!"

My sister was at school with two cousins with the same first name (different surname) - same school year, same class. People did comment on it but it wasn't a huge deal and the girls got on fine afaik.

No one will think you copied her- you're naming him after your relatives.
Each time someone mentions her chosen name comment that she didn't seem to like the name when you told her you were naming your baby that.
I'd be upfront and actually ask her what made her change her mind.

Likely one will end up vince and the other vinnie!

Great name. Stand firm. Don't put anything passive aggressive on fb makes you look about 12. Tell those that matter the truth and crack on.

She's not being very nice is she?
Years ago I told a friend of dh what I would call our ds if we ever had a ds.
His wife was pregnant at the time and he had said they were struggling for a name.
The name we had decided on was unusual then, I had liked it since seeing an American film in my childhood.
The name was totally different from this friends ds1s name.
I didn't know anyone else with that name.
Anyhow when their ds2 was born guess what they called him?

I was fuming and when I had my own ds decided not to use it as I felt they had stolen it, sounds crazy I know. Their ds was regarded by all our friends as a naughty child so the name was tainted for me.
My dh did tell his friend that he had used our preferred name and we did consider the name, but every time someone mentioned their child it was in a negative way.
I'm not sure what I'd do in your position ex rot for never go fifi g in your cousin again.

How rude of her

I'd say stick with Vinny. Anyone at the school who realises they're cousins will assume it's a family name as it's not unusual for loads of family members to have the same name

Whatever you do, call your ds Vinny after your grandad and uncle. What she does is up to her.

Definitely stick with Vincent for your DS and always refer to hers as Vinne2