Will Madeleine inevitably become Maddie?

[Heatherbell1978]

DD1 due in February. I have a DS1, Charlie. Think we're set on Heidi but I've always loved Madeleine and can't shake it off. We discounted it as we're not fans of names that are easily shortened and would prefer child to go by the name we give.
DH thinks it will inevitably be shortened as it's a long name but then it's 3 syllables the same as Emily, Olivia etc which don't tend to be shortened......
Any thoughts?

Navy. No I think it's odd to not allow a 8 year old the chance to say I like Maddie not Madeline. Nicknames often have a different sound and the sound may appeal to them. I wanted a cutsie nickname of my name when I was 8. What about when she's 12. She's still a child but again is perfectly capable of deciding if she'd prefer a shorter less formal name.

"Pluto as an adult it's their name but as a young child people don't have the right to call them something else. How strange of you to think otherwise"

A child's name should be their own as soon as they are old enough to express a preference. About, say, 2? 3?. And if they are happy for other people in their lives to call them variations on their name then that's up to them.

"He's 10 now and none of my friends use the shortened version."

I note the " my friends" what do his friends call him? What does he call himself?

At nursery crèche you just tell them to use full name easy. I have a long similar 3 syllable name and it wasn't shortened until I went to university.

If you always call her Madeline, then at primary school it will always be that. If someone calls her mad die, just say sorry that's not her name she goes by Madeline

So a child is not allowed to go by a version of their name that they like until they are grown up?

What new control freakery is this?

This whole naming thing has got completely out of hand.

Whilst I agree you shouldn't control your child's name, equally you shouldn't assume that Charles will be Charlie or Madeleine Maddie.

I would never, on being introduced to a Charles, just proceed to call him Charlie. That's incredibly bad-mannered.

My ds's names has lots of potential shortenings. One of them I don't particularly like- but it's an easy one to shout, so sports coaches have used it since he was 5. He doesn't mind at all, so it would have been incredibly wanky of me to to ask the coach not to use it. My dd's grandfather (who adored her) used an Irish version of her name from the first time he met he- it just came naturally to him (he was an Irish speaker). Are you really saying it would have been OK to ask him not to use a pet name that had huge resonances for him and which was special to the relationship they had?

The point isn't really about what other people call the child.

It's about what the child chooses to call themselves as they grow up.

So if you love the name Katherine but hate Kate, Katie and Kathy it's probably not a good choice because you can't know what your child will prefer.

You can try to indoctrinate your child that Tom is dreadful and Thomas is much nicer but there's nothing you can do about 18 year old Thomas heading off to Uni and deciding that he's going to be Tom for the rest of his life.

From personal experience parents who stand next to their cringing offspring correcting all their friends on their name never end up looking good. And end up being the butt of many jokes.

It's an interesting one. I wonder how many of those MNers who love all those ghastly frumpy old fashioned names like Joan and Olive have thought that their children may well throw those names into the dustbin as soon as they are able (I say this because of the post about heading off to uni - I was at school with someone with one of those names and that's exactly what she did - went to uni and ensured she was never referred to by that name ever again. She's the only person I know to have so vehemently rejected her birth name).

Absolutely Amelia, DSis insists my 20 and 30 something nephews have always been called by the full versions of their very easily shortened names think Tim/Timothy Zac/Zachary type names. The thing is it's only close family who call them the full name at her insistence. They themselves, wife and girlfriends, all their friends - everyone - call them Tim and Zac. But Im not allowed to! Pisses me right off.

I would choose Madeleine and keep correcting anyone that called her Maddie. They will soon get it.
Or not! They might just keep doing it. And are you really going to correct your child's friends if your child doesn't mind or even likes the shortened version?

as an adult it's their name but as a young child people don't have the right to call them something else.
And at what age do they get any say about their own name?
You can tell other adults, but your child's friends are not going to take any notice!
Shortened versions tend to come from friends more than family.

A friend called her DD Kimberley and insisted that everyone used it. That worked for family and initially teachers, but she had a friend who struggled to pronounce it and it ended up as Kimi. This caught on for all her other friends and it is what Kimi liked all through primary school. The teachers stuck with Kimberley for a while (at mum's insistance) but even they gave up as she always referred to herself as Kimi.
She's just moved to secondary and is now introducing herself as Kim.
Fortunately, mum gave up fighting, but still calls her Kimberley herself (which is fine with Kim)

You can only realistically controll this until they go to school, then it's up to them.

It might. You can insist on the full name but the trouble is your Dd may like Maddie herself and want to be called that. in which case you cant really argue.

Heidi is gorgeous though.

Of course it's not inevitable Francis. The point is that it's not within the parents control long term.

So if the OP loves Madeleine (which I agree is a lovely name) but really hates Maddy then it might be better to think again.

I have an Oliver, we and all family and my friends and the teaching staff call him Oliver. He is 8. Some of his friends and a couple of instructors from a group he goes to call him Ollie. He doesn't like it but doesn't feel confident to tell them this. I have told him it is his name and he has the right to say no, as I did as a child with my name. Sometimes I regret giving him that name. So if you are adamant that you do not want it shortened just be aware there is only so much you can do. And to everyone just because a name can and commonly is shortened does not give permission to shorten that name every time you meet it without checking with the person/child/parent first.

Obviously it's not inevitable. But it is nothing to do with the parents.

Get in with a nickname first. Addie/Adele or use Madelaine and call her Lainey?