Surname when parents aren't married

[Unicorn1981]

I always thought it was a given the baby had dads surname married or not but I have seen a few comments on here lately that it isn't necessarily the way. DD has dp's surname. Have I missed something? We are engaged just haven't got round to getting married but I was just wondering.

And it really confounds me why unmarried women give their children their DP's surname without really thinking it through. why is that? They are as much the mans children as the woman's so what's the problem with choosing to give them their fathers surname? why should a woman's relationship status dictate the name of her children?

I note you didn't agree with women changing their name through marriage. I changed mine, and it has becaome my identify to the point where I would never change it. It's my family name, the family my husband and I created. If I had a nicer mane than him I may have asked him to change, but his sounded better.

As others have said, traditionally it would be the fathers surname that is passed on, the same as after marriage the woman takes her husband's name.
However I think it should be a personal choice, and that there is no right or wrong, just whatever you feel most comfortable with doing

DS was born before DH and I married and we have him DH's surname.
We are now married and I took DH's name and I like it that we all have the same name and it makes me feel more like a family.

I know it's not particularly feminist of me, but I have no attachment to my surname really, DH wouldn't have taken it and I like it DH's surname as it is quite unusual.

But some people are the complete opposite and want to keep their name, feel that DC should have the mother's name in case of a future split etc etc.

Each to their own.

"As others have said, traditionally it would be the fathers surname that is passed on"

Actually others have said the opposite! Traditionally it's the mother's surname that is passed on

We have first child with dp's surname, second with mine. Lots of raised eyebrows! But what will happen if we have a third???

But some people are the complete opposite and want to keep their name, feel that DC should have the mother's name in case of a future split etc. This is what I mentioned earlier. I can't understand that mentality. In the case of a break up I thought it was the adults split up not the children. The children are still the fathers children regardless of his relationship status with their mother.

FFS. Some women want to keep their own name (married or not) and share that name with their children. That will be the case whether or not they split up with the mother.

father not mother

It's rather unimaginative to assume that the risk of splitting is the only reason for giving a child the same name as its mother... there have been SO many threads about surnames and women have given plenty of reasons for keeping their surnames and passing them on to their children (just as other women have given reasons for taking their husband's surname and giving children their father's name only).

My Dc were born before we married and we agreed to double-barrel their surname so both of our families were represented. I didn't change my name when did get married, but it's the double-barrelled version that's on our front door for the whole family.

I was a lone parent to DD for 4 years, she had my surname. I then met and married DH and asked her if she wanted to keep her surname or change it as I was changing mine...I don't really get on with my father and fancied a change of name anyhow. DD opted to double barrell it.

I'm due my 2nd baby in April, they too will have a double barrelled surname like DD.

I would only give the fathers surname to a child born in wedlock, otherwise it would have my surname

Whatever suits you