Honest thoughts - would Brits consider this OTT?

[crowsnest99]

Firstly I'd just like to prefix this by mentioning that I'm very new to mumsnet and whilst I reside in the UK, my husband and I aren't entirely British (He's 1/2, I'm only 1/4) and our respective heritage is very important in choosing the names for our prospective children (we're trying as of June!)

We both feel quite strongly about multiple middle names - more as a formality to honour heritage, relatives, etc, and as we both share Italian, French and Greek roots, some of the names we consider 'worthy of honouring' may seem a little... over the top?

We live in London and the ideally the children will attend a pembridge/wetherby type school and they both so English and I worry about them sharing classes with many George and Charlottes...
Anyway. Here are the fateful top names drum roll

Boys:
Augustus Stefan Priam Charles
Ptolemy Alexander Hector St John

Girls:
Octavia Beatrix Persephone Monique
Genevieve Inés Miuccia Céline

I really hope I don't get eaten alive for this - we really love the names!

i'm pleasantly surprised people haven't been more harsh

Give it time. This is mumsnet after all.

Also, what about using Ettore, Italian version of Hector, two birds, one stone etc.

It is common for the Aristocracy and Royalty to have names for ancestors, everyone else may well pick a particular name as a first or middle name to honour a relative they know and love or one who has died but really meant something to them, there doesn't tend to be a great deal of pressure to name children after Great Uncle Henry four times removed.

I would say naming after family members is a thing in the British Isles, but these days common more in Scotland and Ireland, less so in England, except in some families.
Perhaps that's more down to families being disparate geographically nowadays?

Just name them what you want. Not to keep extended family happy.

You'll always end up upsetting someone no matter what you choose if your only aim is to keep others happy.

Unclench and just go for something you both like

CorroBoree - what a wealth of great advice you have! Ettore has officially replaced Hector (Hector was a nod to the prince of Troy, who was killed before his ancestors would 'discover' what would become Rome->Italy. Spelling doesn't remotely bother me - not like the ancients would have spelt it 'Hector' anyways.)
I feel like all of this should be suffixed with "I am aware how this is quite odd for people who prefer 'normal' names and don't consider ancient heritage as a starting point but please acknowledge its my extended family's way thanks!"

I think it's ridiculously ott to have so many names for one child, but it's obviously your choice.

My DC have middle names after relatives, but there wasn't any pressure from either side of the family about this.

No reason to be harsh - the names are not particularly unusual, and are certainly not outlandish! (Are you saying that Sebastian and Olympia are what you originally wanted to call your offspring, or what your families wanted? Sebastian is ordinary, and Olympia is slightly on the stately side for a small child, but not in any way odd...?)

I personally see no issue with giving your child a name from your culture or language, if you want to. DH and I are Irish, though living in England for almost 20 years, and, contrary to what some posters on here appear to believe, our lives have not been hampered by our 'unphonetic in English' Irish forenames and surnames - our son has an unusual Irish name, and both our Irish-languge surnames, without any particular kerfuffle. He attends a school with names from all kinds of ethnic/linguistic backgrounds.

If you are concerned about marking your national background in your children's names, but are also concerned about fitting in at 'very English' school (I know nothing about either school you mention) shouldn't you consider sending them to a school which has more diversity, and where you can just use the names you like?

NB - families aren't putting pressure as much as its just the way my husband and I were raised. I lived in the UK and assimilated considerably hence the Sebastian/Olympia fantasy before the reality of my heritage hit me.
I spent time growing up in New Zealand and my goodness you wouldn't believe the length of the names there (among the native Maori kids) - culture is a funny one.

I have 4 first names, as does my DB. Neither of us use more than our first and second name. Nobody knows the others. They come in handy for passwords .

The only issue I have is that my full name is on official documents like passports and driving licences, and sometimes I forget and use only 2 names then can't remember why they have been rejected! I do quite like my array of unusual saints/great grandmother's names!

I would splutter at St John and Ptolemy, possibly also at Priam. The rest? Carry on. Wouldn't raise an eyebrow round here.

But then I once went to a children's event where the leader announced, firmly, 'We'll have Persephone, Isis, Sabrina and Edred to this side, Kate, Rachel, Sarah and Alex on the other...' Did wonder if there was some kind of name-segregation policy going on.

Pembridge and Wetherby will be full of non-British born children and families, all London prep schools are like that now. You won't meet any Olivers and Olivias, the children will have every name under the sun.

If you are not yet pregnant, how do you know where they will go to school? You can't register till after the birth

Anyway, that aside, you know full well those are some pretty pretentious names which you are hoping will ease you seamlessly into the upper class. If that floats your boat, go for it. But posh folk really don't call their kids Octavia and Ptolomey anymore, they're much more likely to be called Sophie and John. Equally you wouldn't find them at Pembridge and Wetherby - Wetherby especially is full of celebs and Americans. Pembridge mostly very wealthy Asian and Middle Eastern girls.

teahornet - Sebastian & Olympia were the first names we ever discussed when we decided to have kids, the families have never expressed desire to be mentioned but it is an unspoken duty that I am not resentful of, as much as I am concerned for my child's upbringing and how he/she will be treated as a result of it.
The school thing... Well it boils down to my desire for my children to be worked at quite a high level, lots of extra-curriculars, good morals/ traditions (that align with our own) and those schools are just the ones we aspire to. I'm not in any way opposed to diversity but DH's job means we will leave england in 5-8 year so i'm not worried about them being sheltered

It's fine. Most people will never know their Middle names anyway, I'm pretty sure no-one at school knows DD's, and I don't know the middle names of any children bar immediate family.

So go with what you like.

Ah, yes. Pre-birth aspirations. Hmm. Just to state the obvious, do make sure you look at the child you actually get, when choosing their school.

DH and I are both (in school terms at least!) pretty bright. One of ours struggles immensely, one is only academic in some areas. It came as quite a shock.

I know many people with lots of middle names. Mainly only children who I assume had all the family names rather than spreading them out across siblings!

I know a lovely man who has an unusual first name, a few middle names, and a rather complicated double-barrelled surname. His name is really lovely though, and he chooses whether to use his first name, a very common middle name, half of his surname - whatever. In work he is known by his middle name, and I think he was in school too, but he prefers to be called by his first name in social scenarios and around family.

The only thing I will say though, is it might be a bit of a pain in your child turns into a bit of a traveller - filling out a visa form on a plane is annoying enough, let alone if you had to write multiple names! I'm not sure whether it would be legal to just write first and last, as they check it against your passport.

BskyB - Ah. Here comes the brutal honesty. I cannot stand those who name their kids to 'fit in' with the so-called upper class. I'm very proud my children won't have British upper-class names because we aren't British! Go to Greece and you'll meet many Constantines from all walks of life - it's a common name there, it isn't pretentious. Same with mine - they would be pretentious if they didn't represent our family's history!
Pembridge/wetherby is just a phrase I use to represent the kind of schools I thought were high level British pre&preps - maybe we differ in opinion, but they aren't our finals as obviously, I'm at least 9 months away from having a child to apply for. There are many others on our list and we are very wary of picking a breeding ground for the wunderkinds of oligarchs because I want my kids getting the best of what i'd callBritish education (uniforms and good manners) not a 'mayfair' education (helicopters and yachts.)

Well, call them what you like, there are plenty of children with unusual and international names in London and they'll rarely have to tell anyone their middle names.

I find your boys names self-consciously grand. Naming him after emperors seems to suggest you expect greatness of him. Though, Gus and Alex are perfectly normal names (Alexander is very popular).

Hector St John in particular sounds 'parody of upper class Englishness' to me and that's the effect I get over all. There's something a little P.G. Wodehouse about it (Gussy Finknottle coming to mind perhaps!).

I love Ines and almost wish I had the heritage to justify using it. Genevieve is lovely, not as grand or as uncommon as some of the others. Do you mind how others pronounce it i.e. 'veeve' or 'vi-ehve'? I like Persephone too, though it definitely fits the Wodehouse image.

Sorry I seem to have misunderstood, these are not family names that you have chosen to honour relatives but are names you want to use to underline your heritage?

There is still no need to have so many names as that comes across as rather pretentious.

I was about to say BSkyB was being unfair about your desire to use names to indicate social class, but your comment after it suggests she may be right. I don't know anything about those schools, but BSkyB is certain rightly about UC naming trends being very ordinary and conservative.

Well it boils down to my desire for my children to be worked at quite a high level, lots of extra-curriculars, good morals/ traditions (that align with our own) and those schools are just the ones we aspire to. I'm not in any way opposed to diversity but DH's job means we will leave england in 5-8 year so i'm not worried about them being sheltered

This is actually pretty obnoxious and revealing. For a start you have no idea what kind of children you will actually have - these schools may be a poor fit - and you seem to view 'diversity' as the opposite of being 'sheltered'. If BSkyB is right about these schools having large amounts of kids from different ethnicities and nationalities, you'll be encountering diversity anyway...

Ah. Then may I gently suggest ditching the word "kids"? Just not used in traditional prep circles.

I love them all! You are entirely right IMO to record their heritage. Anything goes, especially in London or other multi-cultural cities. My DGC has an entirely foreign name reflecting his mother's culture and 2 British middle names reflecting his father's. We don't even live in a particularly multi-cultural place but no one has batted an eyelid. If you're planning to educate your putative child privately then he/she will be surrounded by many other nationalities in London including all the ones you mention.

I think a string of elaborate names would be generally regarded with cheerful bemusement by most Brits. It may be that on first meeting your kids people are a little taken aback, but even very unusual names quickly become normal to people you see often. And of course unless you're planning on using the full name all the time it won't be noticeable anyway.

A friend of mine has four middle names, to have that many is unusual but rather charming, I think.

Bit concerning that choosing names for an as yet non existent baby is causing infighting in your families! Anyway, I'd just pick one middle name. They are all normal names and won't raise eyebrows in London schools, but the quantity might be a bit overwhelming for your child.