To middle name or not to middle name?

[raviolidreaming]

I have a middle name; DH doesn't. We can't agree on whether to give DS a middle name or not - and I'm losing the argument for!

Any thoughts?

[HarrietVane99]

I agree that a middle name is useful in case you come across someone with the same first and last name.

When I was growing up there was a girl in the area with the same, not very common, first and last name as me, who was about a year older. We never met, but she was an outpatient at the local hospital at the same time as me; they thought I was her once. Later we had accounts at the same bank, and I'm fairly sure they once sent me her bank card. Both times it was our different middle names that sorted us out.

[raviolidreaming]

Our surname isn't particularly common, so I'm not overly concerned - but will add it to my case all the same!

Thanks everyone. This has been really helpful

[DappledThings]

Radiatorvalves do you know my DH? That's why our DS has two middle names. Right county and everything!

[HarrietVane99]

Our surname isn't particularly common

Neither is mine, at least not where I grew up. It's more common in another part of England. But there were still two of us.

[Lilacpink40]

Funnily enough I walked into a local boots after marriage and the woman behind the counter said she knew another person in my area with same name (common first unusual second). She was right my (now ex's) extended family member had married someone with same first name. It hasn't caused problems, but just to say as adult it can happen that extended family have same names through marriage (so middle name may be handy).

[Starlight234]

I don't have one..Lots of family issues anyway on top but it did add to my issues of not feeling important that they couldn't be bothered to think of 2 names for me.

My DS therefore does have one.

[pollyblack]

Yes choose one! I don't have a middle name but always wanted one! I'm actually toying with the idea of giving myself a middle name at the grand ild age of 38. My kids both have middle names.

[OlennasWimple]

Even with a very uncommon surname, there are likely to be more people out there with the same name (try googling it now to see!) Having a more distinctive name is probably more important now, in the digital era, than ever before.

[raviolidreaming]

Even with a very uncommon surname, there are likely to be more people out there with the same name (try googling it now to see!)

Google throws up two - one of whom lived in the 1890s - so it's not convincing DH!

He is coming round to the idea of a middle name though, so this thread has been a great help.

[MrsJoeyMaynard]

We gave our DC middle names that were meaningful to us (after relatives), rather than middle names just for the sake of it.

Plus a bonus is that you're less likely to come across someone with exactly the same name. Just because google is only throwing up 2 now, doesn't mean there'll not be more in the future.

[Barefootcontessa84]

I think a middle name adds an element of individuality - you might meet three Isabella's or whatever in your child's class, but the middle name (if different!) differentiates their name at least somewhat.

I think it's nice having options and often first names sound even better followed by something that works well!

[raviolidreaming]

192.com is showing no-one with the same name, so I'll have to convince DH that they're all ex-directory!

It definitely won't be a family name, but I still want a middle name for all the reasons suggested... might just guilt him into it following the birth!

[raviolidreaming]

DH: well, if there are two with the same first name and surname they'll be distinguishable because ours will be the one without a middle name. That's easy enough.

Dammit!

[MrsHulk]

Does he actually have a reason not to have a middle name though? There are lots of practical and emotional reasons to have them, and I can't see any reason why they're a bad thing?

[LunaWeaselton]

I've got 4 names though only 2 went on birth certificate and passport . I think as long as they are cool names, the kids will appreciate it .I don't want a middle name though as my FIL thinks he should get to name our DS and that's my way of saying outer name and nothing else .

[ittooshallpass]

I have 2 middle names and wouldn"t want it any other way. All my names were chosen for a reason, so as well as helping with security and identification i have a name that really means somthing personal to me. I did the same for my DD.

Can't quite understand why your DH wants to simplify your DFBs name? What is his argument?

[Littlelondoner]

I hate not having a middle name.

Reasons both practically and not so practically.

One that hasn't been mentioned it when things get monogrammed it is ALWAYS 3 letters just looks wrong or doesnt work with 2 letters.

[Frazzled2207]

Both our kids have 3 names, 1 first and 2 middle, mostly because we couldn't agree on "just" one name for either.

On a more serious note, husband has already set up gmail accounts for them. Although we have an uncommon surname, one of the kids' would-be username (firstname.surname) is already taken so his email address (he is 1!) uses his middle initials.

[eastcoastmum2014]

Its up to you at the end of the day! My DD has one, its my grandmothers name, my DS to be (21 weeks pregnant) will have two as the men in my DP family all have the middle name John which I hate!! So my son will have that and a nice one as well 😂 x

[daisypond]

I don't have a middle name - none of my family does and my parents couldn't see the point of them. I always felt shortchanged as a child. A middle name was like a secret name that my friends had that I didn't.

[UnicornPee]

Yes!!!
I have grown up with no middle name and always felt left out!!

[lurkymclurkerson]

This is probably a silly reason for having a middle name, but I have a lot of friends who are known on social media as "Firstname Middlename" or "FirstnameMiddlename Surname" (all one word) rather than "Firstname Surname", so that it's more difficult to be found by their students/patients/etc. I don't know what they'd do if they didn't have middle names!

I would definitely agree with the email address thing, it can be the difference between being joehenrybloggs and joebloggs4567. Looks more professional, somehow.

Sorry, all of my reasons are very trivial - I just like having a middle name! My dad doesn't and he hates it.

[SueTrinder]

I have one middle name, DH has two. The kids all have two, they got one from each side of the family but nothing to be embarrassed by, their first names are all much more unusual that their middle names.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

I love not having a middle name - I think I'm the only one of my peers who doesn't!
They're pointless as far as I can see.
DH hates his, so neither DS1 or 2 has one
Easy peasy.

[AmeliaJack]

The fact that no one else has the same name now doesn't prevent someone else giving their DC an identical name to your DC after their born.

Having a middle name is useful for distinguishing people.

It also gives your DC options if they don't like their first name. I know several people who are known by their middle names.