Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I still can't remember daughter's name at 3 months old.

46 replies

3luckystars · 15/09/2016 11:04

I have the loveliest little girl called Abigail. I agonised for months about a name, I had lists and more lists, but couldn't settle on anything.

Anyway, when she was born, dh arrived in with the older children and they insisted she was Abigail, so I agreed. I know it's her name, we have had her baptised and the priest said the most beautiful words about her name, there is no other name, but I just can't get used to it.

When people ask me, I can't remember it, it happened again this morning.
I am worried that I have lumbered her for life with a name that isn't pretty or girly. It wasnt my choice and she deserved a great name.

Has this happened to anyone else? My other children's names were picked out months before they were born so I loved the names from the word go. I am stumbling over my baby's name all the time and I feel so guilty because I don't love it as much.

Can anyone reassure me or offer any advice. Thanks so much for reading.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LotisBlue · 15/09/2016 12:58

and congratulations on your baby girl. Abigail is a lovely name and relatively unusual these days.

When my dd was born it took me ages to get used to calling her by her name, it wasn't a very babyish name iyswim. I called her 'the baby' or lots of nicknames. Now she is three it suits her down to the ground and I know that it is a name which will suit her as a grown up too. Funnily enough I had a traumatic labour with her (she was born prematurely), so maybe the two things were connected.

Thumbcat · 15/09/2016 13:03

I felt really strange, almost a bit silly, saying DS's name for the first few months and it was the name I'd chosen (and perfectly normal and ordinary). Abigail is lovely, and how special that she was named by her older siblings. I think that with time you'll be fine with it

QueenJuggler · 15/09/2016 13:04

Abigail is a gorgeous name, OP. I also suffered loss pre DD, and it took us weeks to name her - it's really is almost as if you can't quite believe they are there/want to protect yourself in case it all goes wrong. I completely understand how you're feeling.

MadisonAvenue · 15/09/2016 13:04

Abigail is a lovely name, a real classic and one which will suit her throughout her life. Congratulations!

Why does your husband's uncle want to call her by her middle name? If you don't mind me asking.

Hemlock2013 · 15/09/2016 13:08

Hi op.

I had the same thing! With my ds I just wanted to call him another name. Not because I liked it more, it was just what came out when people asked me his name. Or I would refer to him by this other name by accident all the time.

It took ages but his real name did eventually stick and now I look back and find it hilarious. It's like I had a complete block on our chosen name... Strange x x

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2016 13:08

Oh the penny's just dropped.

This must be the reason why so many parents have their kid's names tattooed up their arms

Goingtobeawesome · 15/09/2016 13:11

Welcome to the club of motherhood. Mine at 11-15 and frequently I say the wrong name and last week twice in one day I could not remember the eldests name at all .

Have a chat with your GP or HV if you're worried about your emotional well being and work on your self esteem. Your step children shouldn't have been so bossy.

Abigail is beautiful. Elegant, easy to say and spell with a shortening that is also very nice.

SootSprite · 15/09/2016 13:12

Abigail is a lovely, lovely name, it means 'my fathers joy' so it's fab that her father was involved in choosing that name. Could you come up with a nickname that you like that you could use for her? Kind of a special 'just what mummy calls her' thing?

When my dd was little I sometimes used a pet name for her and I still use it now, even though she is 15 and 5'10 she still answers to it 😆

CatNip2 · 15/09/2016 13:13

It's a lovely name and I am sure you will used to it. It isn't a modern name but has never become common like some names and then fallen out of favour. I am 50 and went to school with an Abigail. She was small, cute, friendly, popular and very pretty.

I really like it.

DinosaursRoar · 15/09/2016 13:15

Oh OP - you are going to have to get "Abigail" tattooed on your wrist

If you struggled with the loss of 2 babies before hand, I can easily see that this didn't seem like it was going to truely happen so you aren't mentally prepared for it, you've been steeling yourself for loss, not a baby. Its not that there's something wrong with you at all.

I would suggest you make a point of saying Abigail regularly to yourself/her. Try to make a point of using it out loud even when there's noone around eg "Mummy's here Abigail" when you pick her up, "time for milk Abigail", "ooh, let's change Abigail's bum!" etc just try for a day of saying it at least twice an hour, it'll be an effort at first, but then will become normal.

fivepies · 15/09/2016 13:16

This is going to sound a bit wacky and out there..... but you might be subconsciously recognising your daughter from a previous life. This may be why you are confused - Abigail is the name for her in this life but you might have a residual memory of her with a different name. If so, over time it'll get easier.
Congratulations on the safe arrival of Abigail x

Chumpster · 15/09/2016 13:19

It's a beautiful name. I really love it. Abi and Abigail. I'm not sure why a school mum said it was 'different'. It's a classic. Perhaps because its not as common now. My DS has a name that is very common amongst men of about 60plus, but not these days and isn't the 'alfie' type old fashioned name. People always say 'oh that's unusual'. Its not, but is unusual for now I suppose.
I question our choice for DD2's name as well, but I feel it's done now even if its not what I'd choose now. Perhaps over time when things settle down for you (you've been through a lot), you won't worry about it. It could be that you're over worrying about the name because its easier that worrying about whether you might have lost her after your previous losses (not that I'm a psychologist! But I think I do that sometimes).
Anyway, it's a beautiful name and she will love it.
What you could do is think of someone who's you really love, but aren't keen on their name, and you might feel that names don't matter that much when it is a lovely person. x

Lynnm63 · 15/09/2016 13:22

Abigail is a lovely name. I wouldn't worry about forgetting her name I regularly go through all three of mines names before getting the right one. In fact I'm pretty sure ds2 thinks his name is a combination of his and his brothers as I call that out so often and dd is often called by the dogs name. Dog does have a girly name, I don't call dd Fido!
My twins were prem and my dd was not expected to survive it's tough when you've been through the mill as you have so do cut yourself some slack and seek help if necessary .

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 15/09/2016 13:24

I did that! I would sometimes think my son was call Alistair (he isn't) until he was about 9 months old

SpidersFromMars · 15/09/2016 13:31

Abigail is a really lovely choice. Great name (one on my shortlist!)

Do Abi/Abbie/Abby or even Abby-girl roll off the tongue a bit easier? I second the idea of talking to her alone using her name, so help you settle into it.

You have given her a beautiful gift with that name, don't underestimated it.

ineedbanoffee · 15/09/2016 13:45

Nothing more to add, except that you sound lovely OP, and you have given your girl a beautiful name. xxxx

Bluesand1 · 16/09/2016 09:53

Lovely name. Known but not over used. Pretty but not too cutesy

ShiroiKoibito · 16/09/2016 13:42

very pretty name,

dhs uncle told us he is calling her by her middle name instead!
or
dhs uncle told us he is an arsehole

AmeliaJack · 16/09/2016 13:52

Abigail is a wonderful name. It's an old name with lots of history.

It means Father's Joy or Gives Joy which I think is just lovely.

It passes all the MN tests:easy to spell, easy to pronounce, easy to imagine as a high court judge.

It sounds both cute and fun and elegant and intelligent.

Honestly it's a great name.

My daughter has a beautiful name but actual we often call her something else entirely (unrelated to get name) as a 'just for family name'. (Think Pumpkin/Pickle/Cuddles)

You could pick something like that if you think it would help.

Mozismyhero · 16/09/2016 13:57

I am a teacher and there are a few Abigails in school so not 'um different'. I was like this with my first, just couldn't remember his name for months. I also had serious doubts about it and genuinely considered changing it. Can't imagine him as anything else now. You'll get there.

QueenLizIII · 16/09/2016 23:51

Abigail has always been popular. There were lots of them when I was at school and it is popular now.

I dont like it as it separates out to A-big-ail. What ails you, etc.

Also that antagonist from the Crucible, Abigail Williams. Not good connotations.

If you dont like it, you can change it.

Flip

1 2