Naming rights

[twoundertwowillbefun]

I'm about a month away from meeting DS2 and I want him to have both our surnames officially but only use his dad's in everyday context. DP isn't really ok with this and I we have problems as a couple anyway so not sure how long we are going to last therefore I don't mind rocking the boat a bit to get my way on this point. As the mother do I get the final legal say as to the name that appears on the birth certificate or not? Thanks

I think so yes. I mean...you will have the main care of DS...especially if you're breastfeeding.

If your partner does not come to register the baby with you, then he can't have a say can he?

I would register him with your surname personally. Register him on your own. DP doesn't get a say if he's not there, and DP can't register him alone.

If the relationship suddenly takes off, and you get married and all that, you can change it when you change yours.

If you already have one child, it makes sense for them to have the same surname, presumably your husbands. Can the baby not have your name as a middle name?

JEss the OP says he is her partner. And these days, changing your name or automatically taking the male's is not as common as it once was.

So is it:
You want the baby to have the surname of both its parents. Which are not the same so means DBing but you're happy for baby to generally be known as his baby surname.

He wants the baby to only gave his which leaves yours off because as above they're not the same.

Then you go with your option as it covers both of your preferences. His option only covers his.

I 100% believe parents should agree on first name choices and mother doesn't trump father in the naming rights. But in your scenario I do think the option which gives both parents representation which so happens to be yours should win out and I'd be presenting it as non-negotiable.

Just don't hyphenate the surname and put on forms Maxwell Smith Jones, known as Max Jones later down the line

Thanks for the advice I've told him it's non negotiable and I think he's going to let it happen now xx