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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

I don't love my baby's name

40 replies

Scraggyspanner · 05/05/2016 20:46

I spent my pregnancy expecting I was having a boy for no real reason, we didn't find out. We had an amazing boy's name ready and waiting but had really struggled to strongly consider a girl's name.
Then, my baby girl arrived.
In the adrenalin filled hours post birth I said to my husband 'what shall we call her' and he said 'Hattie' (a name that had been briefly thrown around in our very minimal girls names discussion. And I agreed.
But I don't love it. I think I struggle that it's not a 'proper' name, that people will always assume she is Harriet, which she isn't.
I'm not sure I could deal with the embarrassment (and confusion of my 2 year old) of changing it and nor do I really know what I would change it to.

I'm not sure what I'm asking really, has anyone realised they don't love their chosen name? Did you come to terms with it/change it?

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TrappedByTiredness · 05/05/2016 23:12

OP, I did the same. I agreed with DH when I was 6cm dilated, on a name I liked that he loved the most, but after a month I couldn't get used to it and asked him to change it.

I felt awful as all the baby cards had the name we had first chosen, but the new name is so much better. It's still not perfect but it's much better.

A month or four isn't that long. They have a lifetime in that name so you might as well get it right!

Canyouforgiveher · 05/05/2016 23:17

At 4 months I'd change it - if you and dh could agree on a better name. At the least change the birth cert so it is Harriet, that may be enough to make you feel better about it. I love Harriet (loved Harriet The Spy) and Hattie is a great nn.

TheDowagerCuntess · 06/05/2016 05:39

If you feel like you really want to change her name, then do it, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

However, just to put another opinion out there - I know we all, mostly, choose names for our children that we love. But actually, what does our opinion of the name really matter. We're not the one who has to live with it.

People agonise over just the perfect name for their DC, but they have absolutely no control over whether the recipient of the names even likes it - let alone loves it.

We have a DS and a DD. DS is named after DH's uncle, and DD is named after my Mum. In in both cases, neither have names that one of us might even have had on our lists, if it were not for the fact that we married each other. I didn't love DS's name when we bestowed it on him (though he's since come to be known by a shortened version which is him to a T, and I do love it).

What it really boils down to is - a parent liking their child's name is neither here nor there, really, when you think about it.

So if you really want to change it, do - but the fact that you don't love it doesn't have to be a cause of distress for you, either. [flower]

albertcampionscat · 06/05/2016 07:42

Hattie could be short for Hester too. Great name Hester. Rare, but not too weird. Definitely sounds grown up and serious if you want that to counter the slight cutesiness of Hattie.

Having said that, Hattie itself is a fine name. One last thing - name regret is apparently quite often a PND symptom.

Burgatroyd · 06/05/2016 12:19

I changed my baby's name and she has an older sibling. Older sibling cant vent remember the old name! Its very easy and a couple of years on no one remembers but was a source of constant worry at the time

septembersunshine · 06/05/2016 13:08

Could you change her name to something vaguely similar sounding? Another name bringing with H? Holly, Hester, Hailey, Hannah, Heather, Heidi, Helena - I can't think of anymore of the top of my head. Then it's not too much of a leap away from Hattie?

Nicknamegrief · 06/05/2016 13:15

One of my children has a name that I don't like much ( especially as people mispronounce it a lot). However I have never been able to think of something else I would like to call him, at some point the name became his and suits him. He is an adorable 3yo now so changing it is no longer an option but you may find that she owns the name and nothing else will do.

I think Hattie sounds lovely and I wouldn't presume she was a Harriet (which is also lovely). Have you talked about how you feel to your husband?

ajandjjmum · 06/05/2016 13:32

We took ages to decide what to call our DS, and used his 'bump' name until he was 2.

DH then felt strongly that we couldn't stick with this, so we started calling him by his 'real' name at that point. Took a bit of getting used to, but we got there, and no-one even remembers it now.

So I'm sure you'd have no problems changing at four months - and better that, than be stuck with a name you regret forever.

Smarla16 · 06/05/2016 22:20

I named my daughter Harriet as we loved the name Harry for a boy and like you couldn't decide on a girls name, so went for Harriet, quite a quick decision.
We thought about calling her Hattie but I wanted her to be a bit of both.
Some family immediately called her Hattie and I had to correct them to say "it's Harriet for now."
I couldn't get used to the end of the word being 'T'. I thought it was too abrupt. I spoke to loads of friends about it and they all said that they LOVED Harriet and thought it was a great name.
Before she was 12 months I added another middle name (so she now has 3 names) and I felt a lot more settled that she had another name to fall back on if she decided she didn't like Harriet.
She's now nearly 3 and loves her full name. And so do we. She really as become her name. If we call her Hattie she says "Mummy my name is Harriet".
It's not that we didn't like Hattie we did but I wanted her to be Harriet first and then Hattie if it came but it never has.
I'd say for you to add something as a middle name and then you can change it to that. I'm not sure if this has been helpful or not for you.

Willberry · 07/05/2016 11:41

If you have a name you prefer then change it, does she have a middle name you could use instead? My uncle was called Jeffrey for the first few weeks then changed to his middle name David.

I used to know a child called Freddie who when he started school changed to Alfie (I assume his full name was Alfred) Now that was confusing!

Willberry · 07/05/2016 11:49

Also I work with a couple of people who use names not on their birth certificate at all. One her parents used the name from childhood, the other its a nickname that stuck in adulthood and he now uses as his name!

Just expect that if the name isn't the official first name they will always get called the wrong name by new teachers, Drs, nurses etc. I work in a hospital and though we try our best it can get quite confusing when you are calling people a different name to the one on all the official paperwork you are filling in!

MrsJayy · 07/05/2016 11:56

I dont love Dd2s name i like it it is a fine name but like you i didnt love it i had boys names ready too then she was in scbu so it was a quick decision name I wouldnt change Hattie but does she have a middle name or you could change it to Harriet on her BC

VaVaVooom · 09/05/2016 14:06

You could change it to Henrietta rather than Harriet, if that's any better?

ABitAsleep · 09/05/2016 14:53

You could maybe change it to something similar as to not cause too much confustion with your other child?

Maybe...
Matilda (Mattie)
Tatiana (Tatie)
Athena (Attie)
Patricia (Pattie or Patsy)
Katherine/Katrina/Katriona (Kat, Kattie, Kittie, Katie)
Adelaide/Adison/Adele/Adela (Addie)
Madeleine/Maddison (Maddie)
Caroline (Carrie)
Cassidy/Cassandra (Cassie)

Or another H name like Hettie, Heather, Hester, Hera, Hope, Harmony, Harrie

ABitAsleep · 09/05/2016 14:57

Or also...

Natalie/Natalia/Natasha (Nattie)

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