Help - wife has already decided a name I don't like

[username999]

Hi,

My wife is 38 weeks pregnant and has become attached to a baby name I don't like. I've suggested that we should both have veto on the name ie. we need to find a name neither of us object to. She won't agree to this - she's picked the name on her own and that's it. She now refers to the baby by this name.

This is making me really upset. I wouldn't dream of calling our baby by a name she doesn't like. I really can't understand how she could enjoy calling the baby by a name that I object to.

We've had some marriage problems in the past and I now feel like my wife is more selfish than I ever realised. Feels like this could be the last straw.

I just want to ask if people can see it from her point of view? I don't think I'm being selfish am I? - I'm just asking for a name we both agree on

I told my DP that I had a first and middle name I would really like to use if we had a girl , basically the first name was my birth mothers favourite flower (she died in childbirth) and my adoptive mums name as a middle name. Adoptive mum has also since passed away.

DP not keen in the first name, he understands the middle name is really important to me though and says he'd be happy with that. I'd still love my choice of first name, as it is really meaningful to me, however I also wouldn't go ahead a pick a name he actively didn't like, so I've had to give up on that little idea.

Your wife does seem to be being unfair and unreasonable. Hav you tried talking to her about it in a relaxed way, just asking why she is so set on that name, whether there's any way you could compromise, explained your issue with the name she has chosen etc?

It's hard to judge especially without knowing all your issues and hers. Is this your first or second child? Is the name really strange or horrible? Maybe you just need to give her a bit more space to try to change her mind. We women get funny when pregnant and especially so close to the birth. You two should compromise but do it in a relaxed way at this critical time if possible

Sorry, are some posters actually suggesting that if the mother is the primary career she gets to choose the name, even if her spouse hates it? What a crock of shit. A compromise needs to be made.

YANBU.

What is the name? And what are the marriage issues? This sounds like it's one of those arguments that isn't really about what it's officially about, if you see what I mean.

I wasn't suggesting that at all RiverTam and none of the posts imply that to me. They all seem to be about trying to compromise.

"Sorry, are some posters actually suggesting that if the mother is the primary career she gets to choose the name, even if her spouse hates it? What a crock of shit. A compromise needs to be made."

Er no, I think there has been one post out of 35 which has suggested that OP choose the middle name. The rest have unanimously supported the OP.

I was desperate for a name that my husband didn't like it. We found another. She's our daughter and he's involved.

Good news. This had been going on for some weeks but finally today my wife has come to her senses and agreed the baby doesn't have a name yet.

It's quite a relief. I think she could see I was at my wits end.

Is she on MN?

Awesome news. Good luck with everything x