I don't want to use one of DH's 'family' names

[StillNoFuckingEyeDeer]

DH and I find it impossible to agree on a name for a boy. We just seem to have very different tastes. In addition to this, he wants to use a 'family' name, but I dislike the names of all his male relatives. He wants to use a name from his side, but isn't keen to use one from mine. DC will have DH's surname (I still use my own). I think that even if it is only a middle name, I shouldn't have to give my child s name I dislike just because it's a 'family' name, when they have his family surname. AIBU?

Of course you don't give a name you dislike. I would avoid using any family names, tbh. I think it often leads to problems.

New baby, new name.

But in any case if it's his surname I'd say it isn't fair to have his family first name too.

YANBU. My DH's family had always named the first born son of the first born son the same name. I obviously don't dislike my DH's name, but neither of us wanted to give our DS that name, so we picked another. DS does have the other name as his middle name though.

Not keen to use a family name from your side but wants a first name and surname from his.

That sounds fair.

Nope, you don't have to do it. Please don't.

Write a list of 30 names, and see what those lists have in common. Only place to start when partners have completely different ideas.

Is your DH a Plantagenet or something? Is he worried about his heir?

Just keep saying no - we didn't follow the family tradition on DHs side, we knew there might be a bit of fuss, but in the end no one said anything about it!

If he gets his own way, ensure you have full choice over the 2nd child (make that the agreement) and choose something whacky.

Just say no. I kept my own surname when we got married but agreed that DS could have DHs surname on the understanding that I got final say on his first and middle names. If DH hasn't agreed to that then DS would have been given my surname.