same name choice as friend - is it an issue?

[rubybloom2]

My friend and I are due a day apart.

Last night, she revealed their middle name choice (they're having a boy), which is the father's late mother's maiden name.

My heart sank as we have the same middle name choice for a girl (don't know what gender we're having) - I was so shocked, I just fell silent and didn't say anything. It's a unique name that I absolutely love.

My husband and I are now in a pickle. Is it an issue if both babies have the same middle name - given it is very unusual? Will it look at though we copied their name, although we decided on it months ago?

Is it bad form to use the name as they have a sentimental attachment, whereas we don't?

I'm probably over thinking but would love to know people's thoughts.

I think it's absolutely fine but I would definitely mention it to your friend and also explain you'd decided on it months ago.

Well I think it'll be fine for them both to have the same middle name, but I think you need to tell her ASAP so she doesn't think you've 'stolen' the name.

I don't think it is an issue, especially not with middle names, but it might make sense to say something straight away.

We named DS something quite unusual and when we announced his birth, a pregnant friend texted me straight away saying something like "congratulations, love the name, that's the one I've always had in mind for my future son". She had a DS, he's called the same as my DS, and I really don't mind.

Middle name is no problem but I would of said at the time

When I was pregnant I told my friend I was going to call my ds Harry. She said (not pregnant at the time) oh well have a ds with same name then as were calling our hypothetical DS Harry. We didn't go with Harry after that. But middle name wouldn't bother me at all

I wouldn't even second guess it as a middle name. People rarely even refer to middle names past the birth announcement!

People make a big fuss about middle names on here, in real life its a non issue. Do you even know any of your friends middle names? Nobody does.
It really doesn't matter.

I don't think it matters for a middle name. But tell her today, I can imagine in a post partum haze this could be made to be a huge deal if your friend finds out then.

It probably will look as though you've copied their name, yes.

But it's only a middle name, no big deal.

When I named DD my BFF said (jokingly) that she was gutted because that was hee girls' name. She'd been trying for years but no luck (happily now expecting twins -boys!).
I told her I didn't have a copyright on the name and that if she ever hada had a girl to go right ahead.
If I'm honest I'm glad she's having boys because I love DD's name and it is an unusual name. But I meant what I said and it wouldn't cause me to lose any sleep.
But I agree that you should mention it to your friend.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I shall tell her when I next see her, soon hopefully as we're both due in three weeks!