Is it pretentious or somehow wrong (foreign names)

[RivieraKid]

Backstory,

A good friend of mine has recently found out she's having a girl. She had a celebration/bump blessing thing this weekend and said that as she's a huge fan of everything Italian and visited while she was pregnant she wants to give her baby an Italian name (Carlotta). This has caused a surprisingly big issue with a couple who are mutual friends; they say it's pretentious and somehow inappropriate because neither she or her husband have a family/heritage connection to Italy. The wife even said it was cultural appropriation (isn't that something you can only do to oppressed peoples?)

Has anyone here given their baby a foreign name and been given stick for it, or decided against it for this reason? I just don't see that it's any of their business what she names her daughter.

It's not pretentious. I'm not sure I'd even register that Carlotta is Italian, it wouldn't make me think of any nationality particularly. I recently met a baby called Innes. I wondered if there was a Spanish connection, the mum said there wasn't and that was that. I didn't then think she was pretentious for using a Spanish name although she has no Spanish connections. I'd use a "foreign" name with no connection in a heartbeat before a you-neeq name. As other posters have noted there are also plenty of "foreign" names which are now so common that no one would comment "are you Italian/Swedish/Irish/Samoan" etc. Moral of the story - don't tell anyone the name before the baby is born...

"you-neeq" name

I really don't see the fuss. I can't see an issue with using a foreign name at all.

What's inappropriate is the couple thinking they have a right of input into naming someone else's baby.

I thought of Malory Towers too!

I don't see the big deal and think the 'cultural appropriation' comment is laughable. Are the parents of all Sophies and Leos also appropriating someone else's culture? If I was your friend I'd tell the other stickybeak couple to feck off.

oh ffs, They love Italy, they love the name Carlotta. I dont see any problem here at all.

Italy is bloody next door but one. She should totally go for it

Are you going to show your friend the thread Riviera?

Yes I think I will - she was really quite upset by their remarks so this will make her feel better I'm sure! Everyone else in our group has told her not to worry but it can be hard not to when it's something so personal I think.

But the parents would seem to me nuts if they chose a name like "Shizuka" (Japanese) or Ng-Trang (Vietnamese) or Dilnaz (Kazakh) without their being cultural appropriation.

This - I am astonished by people who choose names that are waaay out and only likely to cause confusion. Some names translate/scan better than others. On this occasion it seems a fine choice though.

I've always wondered about this. I love loads of Russian and Scandinavian names and Italian too. We appropriate food, culture, design from these places so why not names? The only reason I didn't is that I thought my dd might get bored of every conversation beginning "so, dp you have Russian heritage?" and her having to say no every time and getting a look. As if the birthplace of her great grandmother is relevant to anything at all, least of all what names you are "allowed" to use. Fwiw my surname is decidedly French sounding but the reason why is lost in the mists of time. Apparently this would make it "ok" for me to choose a French name. What tosh. In the end I chose a Welsh first name and a germanic/Scandinavian middle name. I am not Welsh but meh.

longest I have a Russian name because my mother liked a Tolstoy character - same couple didn't give me funny looks when I introduced myself!

It's probably within their arbitrarily designated list of foreign names it's acceptable to appropriate, OP. Probably because someone else has done it before.

They probably read an article about cultural appropriation and were itching for an occasion to shoehorn it in so they could demonstrate what well informed people they are.

I have an Elena and we're not at all Spanish, Italian or Russian. We just liked the name. All names are just collections of letters and sounds and as PP say they come from all over the place. Look at the rise and rise of Amelie.

Carlotta is lovely (and also made me think of Malory Towers!)

Carlotta's a lovely name. If we were all worried about cultural appropriation all English babies would have to be called Old English names like Cuthbert or Ethelred. There'd be a much smaller pool of names to choose from if we couldn't use those with Hebrew or Greek or Latin origins.

Hilarious, what a couple of utter bastards.

Carlotta is a lovely name. I knew an Italian women who loved Irish names and called her sons Patrick and Liam. She had never left Italy.

I'm American so I can call my kids whatever I want to since y'all know we have no history or culture of our own :o

Carlotta is pretty. Your friend's friends are ridiculous.

Carlotta is a lovely name.

However, heed the words of Sanity, I did the same for just that reason.

Malory Towers here too!

But celebration/bump blessing? What is that? Perhaps the other couple were wondering why there was a celebration and pounced on the opportunity to have a dig at the couple (whereas they could, of course, have turned down the invitation if they didn't like the idea of the celebration)? Otherwise I'm a bit stumped why they would have a go at the name.

Bump blessing??

Ugh, the 'cultural appropriation' thing has really bothered me!

I find it so divisive, the belief that because you are from a certain country/culture/race you may only do/eat/dress/name your children in ways someone else feels are traditional/acceptable for someone of that country/culture/race.

But the parents would seem to me nuts if they chose a name like "Shizuka" (Japanese) or Ng-Trang (Vietnamese) or Dilnaz (Kazakh) without their being cultural appropriation.

But only because, most of the times, the parents have no idea what they are naming. I've noticed it with chinese names suggested on the internet. They aren't chinese names at all. And they sound ridiculous in English as well.

Not the case here too. Carlotta is lovely in English.

Bump blessing??

They are Pagan, they didn't want to have a baby shower, but something more spiritually relevant to them. Hence.

It's a sweet name and she can always go by Carla if she wants something less out there. There's an old poem that's stayed in my head for some reason, about what an old-fashioned, nice if not posh name it is: 'Carlotta! Nome non fine, ma dolce che come l’essenze
Resusciti le diligenze, lo scialle, la crinoline...'

I have a "foreign" name and love it. So many people if having a favourite holiday place, conceived abroad will name their child with a local to their holiday name.

OPs friend, carlotta is lovely. Your friends are just horrid. They are so up themselves to think that what they think will seriously change a couples hard and seriously thought about name for their baby.

Its a lovely name and she can call her baby whatever she pleases. The friends need to wind their necks in.