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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Those who named their babies an unusual/uncommon name...

127 replies

Bue · 05/12/2015 13:20

4 month old DD is named Romilly. Obviously DH and I knew it wasn't a very common name, but I don't think we appreciated just how unknown it is. We get a lot of comments like "Romilly? Well that's certainly unusual!" or "Hmm is that a name from your country?" (I'm from abroad). When people know the name I immediately think they must be an ITV viewer (Romilly Weeks), very posh (it was quite an upper crust name at least in the past), or a Mumsnetter . But I get the impression most people think we have made it up and I'm some sort of kre8tiv namer .

Has anyone else felt a twinge of name regret having given their child an uncommon name, and do you just learn to let it roll off your back? I'm feeling bizarrely defensive about it and am starting to dread telling people her name when they ask!

OP posts:

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LetGoOrBeDragged · 11/12/2015 13:19

Made up names, tend to get judged harshly in life. It's horrible and unfair but nonetheless true. If you give your child a made up name, everyone your child comes into contact with, will make judgement (negative ones) about your education, social class, ability to enter certain professions etc.

I am a great believer in picking a name you totally love and not letting your relatives sway you into going with their choices, but you do have to consider impact on your child. I don't think you can worry too much about whether your child will like your choice because it's impossible to know what their preferences will be, but it is not a good idea to choose something which may hinder their life chances, however pretty the made up name might be.

MrsMarigold · 11/12/2015 13:36

I know two people called Romilly - never really thought of it as that unusual. Pretty.

Burgatroyd · 11/12/2015 17:03

So many names get judged!

Yes, there is a kid in dds class who might be called Kayderlee who will unfortunately be judged but what about Winterby? Thats made up and people might assume it's a literary character.

I love Romilly btw

mathanxiety · 12/12/2015 03:09

By the same token, LetGoOrBeDragged, there are people who mightn't recognise many an established name, and think poorly of you or your child as a result. Romilly is an example.

I had a relative who was aghast at the thought of a grandchild of his bearing the name Freya. My own grandmother looked up sharply and made a remark about my sister's name when dad announced it to her. She was the first of that name in Dad's family, but not on Mum's side. Granny was a long way from the 'Tesco' school of reaction to names, but she had her blind sides.

As another example, I see much pooh-poohing of hyphenated names here, apparently by people who don't know much of European baby naming practices. Similarly, much ing at names that would go down very well on Yale or Harvard applications and the dismissive sniff of 'American...'

I think judging always reflects badly on the judge. Parents do the best they can.

LetGoOrBeDragged · 12/12/2015 06:42

Of course making snap judgements and using those first impressions to maybe bin someone's CV because of the name is bad. However everybody makes judgements in life, often based on first impressions. Anyone who claims never to judge is a liar. It is human nature.

While some people may never have heard of Romilly, the university admissions officers and managers looking at CVs, probably have. So a woman called Romilly won't have her CV binned, in the way that names deemed to be made up or 'chavvy' will be. I don't dispute for a minute that it is horribly unfair, but people do judge. So you try to insulate your child from it, by picking a name that won't lead future employers to make snap decions about their education/social background.

LetGoOrBeDragged · 12/12/2015 06:47

Meant to add that the way people judge, will vary according to the culture of the particular country you are in. So a particular name might go unremarked in one country but stand out in another because of a negative association. Myra, for example. Perfectly nice name but not many Brits choose it.

RedToothBrush · 12/12/2015 11:36

But again by the same token there are people who like certain types of unusual names.

'Aspirational' names are viewed favourably in the US whereas they are very much frown upon in the UK. This is a reflection of culture and social status that differ.

There are different names that are regarded as lower class and there are those that are regarded as liberal middle class names and there are those that are regarded as try hard.

Personally I would be drawn to unusual names - whatever they seem to reflect as I admire parents brave enough to not conform and use some imagination, though I have a certain respect for family traditions too. That does say a lot about me and I am fully aware of it.

KERALA1 · 13/12/2015 08:33

I am impressed by traditional proper names that are rarely used in this generation eg peter, john, Tess, Zoe

The ones I (secretly) judge are the crowd followers. The ben, Eve, grace, lily crowd. Yawn.

leaningtoweroflego · 13/12/2015 09:03

DS (7) has a very unusual name. I just asked him if he likes having an unusual name and he smiled and said yes, because no one else has the same name so if someone calls his name he knows it must be him.

Brummiegirl15 · 13/12/2015 16:02

I love Romilly! It's actually on my list for DD but DP has vetoed it

Interesting that a PP has commented on Zoe, that's currently our front runner...

BendydickCuminsnatch · 13/12/2015 20:28

Is Zoe unusual? it's on our list too but thought it was pretty well used.

Magtils · 13/12/2015 20:43

My dd1 is called Aurelia. She was at a party today and the magician called her up to the front, asked her what her name was and then proceeded to call her Amelia. My dd is nearly 4 and I could see the utter confusion on her face! She didn't know what to do and in the end just answered to Amelia for the 5 minutes she was up there! Wish I had said something now but I didn't want to interrupt the show! I have a feeling this won't be a one off for her. I will have to have a chat with her about what to do in those situations. Dd2 has a name that is not commonly heard of but well known.

Paddingtonthebear · 13/12/2015 20:47

Swimming teacher called DD by the wrong name for about three lessons in a row. It was awkward, I had to correct her every week

JasperDamerel · 13/12/2015 21:05

There were 27 children with DS's name in his year of birth. Despite this, there is a boy with the same name in his 250 pupil primary school.

DD's name is very, very unusual and never shows up in the baby name lists. I suspect that some people think we made her up, but she's called after an ancient Greek artist.

KERALA1 · 13/12/2015 21:13

Round here brandy most girls are called eve/grace/lily/isabel(la) so Zoe is a welcome change!

mrsmugoo · 13/12/2015 21:15

My son doesn't have an unusual name but he does have the same name as my husband so I sympathise with those who've chosen unusual names and how people take it upon themselves to make snarky comments about the name - it's rude AF.

I'm pregnant with my second now and I've had two people say if it's a girl they assume we'll be naming her the same name as me.

Actually no. Now fuck off.

deste · 14/12/2015 10:16

We were discussing baby names today and I was telling my daughter that I loved Romilly. Her name is in the top ten now but when she was born 29 years ago she was only one of a few in our country.

LadyHonoriaDedlock · 14/12/2015 10:25

For every kid embarrassed by an unusual name, there's one who wishes they had one. My ds hates his top 5 middle name and refuses to use it, my dd1 has just changed her name to something more unusual and I'm hoping my dd2 will be ok as her name is only common for French women in their 60s. Romilly is very cool.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 14/12/2015 10:34

Everyone hates my DD2's name, she's the only one I know and my parents were not pleased when we went ahead with it. Even now at 2.5 no one really calls her it and I think some people purposely get it wrong...

Burgatroyd · 14/12/2015 17:14

mary im curious about this name now!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 14/12/2015 17:44

Seraphina...

We get Steph, Stephy, Sephy (which I love actually.) but not one person calls her Seraphina. I even got a Christmas card today to X, X, X and Steph

Burgatroyd · 14/12/2015 18:05

Beautiful name. Genuinely meant x

eatmytoes888 · 14/12/2015 19:18

Seraphina is a beautiful name with an elegance about it.

As someone with a very unusual name, I gave me DC an even more unusual name simply because we loved it. Not ever on the official names records. She loves it too which is the main thing.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 14/12/2015 19:20

Thanks I really love it too.. I'm going to have to make an effort to correct people more!

Brummiegirl15 · 14/12/2015 21:40

Seraphina is just beautiful! Gorgeous name

Zoe was a new entry at number 96 in the top 100 names in 2014 -I've got a name that's a bit different, and I hated it when I was younger, but I like being different

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