Using the name of someone who didn't like their name...

[MadrigalElectromotive]

Sorry for clumsy title!

I am only 10 weeks pregnant at the moment, and just starting to think about names. I want to use my late Grandmother's name as a middle name if DC is a girl, but she hated it for her whole life. I miss her very much and it would be a lovely way to remember her, but I'm not sure that it would really honour her because I worry she'd be turning in her grave!

What do you think?

Did she not have a middle name or nickname she did like? Or maybe she once mentioned a name or two she liked?

TBH the most important thing is that you like it but I do see why you have reservations!

No, no middle name. And her nickname was a shortening of her first name, which she also wasn't very fond of! I'm inclined to just use it - after all, she isn't here any more to dislike it but I do feel a bit conflicted about it!

What's the name? Is it one of the 'granny chic' names having a revival?

Does it fit with your chosen first names?

Why did your gran hate it?

Is there a different shortening?

Eg Libby instead of lizzy from Elizabeth?

What does her daddy think?

The name is Florenc e. Dh is fully on board with using it if we have a girl - he was very fond of her too, and likes the name in its own right.

I think it would probably fit with first names, y es, although we haven't got any firm decisions there at the moment. We are thinking along fairly traditional lines so I don't think it would be incongruous.

I don't know why she hated it really, she just always said it was anawful name and she wished she had been given a different one. Everyone else has always thought it was perfectly fine/nice but she wouldn't be convinced.

I hate my name and might be a bit in private to other people using it (it's quite unusually) but a middle name is different and if it's being used in memory then that's lovely. Maybe go with the nickname if you want something she used? I guess she preferred it to her real name to have used if

My nan has a lovely first name that she's always hated she uses her middle name which imo isn't nearly as nice! Her first name is part of the revival of traditional names at the moment but I've always thought that it was nicer

Just because she didn't like her name doesn't mean she wouldn't want you to honour her memory by giving the name to your dd. I'm not very keen on my name at all but if a family member wanted to name their child after me I'd be touched by the gesture.

It's a perfectly respectable name! (I love it, but I will keep my mouth shut about what I like. )

I know an Amelia Florence.

As long as your dp is ok with it, I would use it. A lovely way of remembering your gran.

But be aware, if you have another dc, your dp might want his gran honoured in the same way make sure you don't hate his gran's name

As you said, she had no reason to hate it. And she isn't here to complain. So go for it.

She was probably from a generation or two after Florence was commonly used so Florence would have been an 'old lady name, but not in a cool way' to her, the way Marjorie is to us. But even if she disliked it I bet she'd still be chuffed that you were remembering her this way.

And you can always turn it into a family joke!

My ds's third name is my fathers name- and he hated it so much that lots of people thought the shortening he was known by was his full name. It's incredibly unusual, I've only ever heard of another one, never mind met one. But I love perpetuating family names and dad wasn't around to complain! It so happens DS quite likes it, and uses it as his name in role playing games and stuff.
I can see why it would have been a burden as your first name in 1930s Australia, though!

I love the name and I think it would be appropriate if you feel it suits your little one when they arrive.
Did you know that in Ireland, Florence is also a male name? (think of Flurry Knox in The Irish R.M.)

If you love the name and it reminds you of her, use it. If you're not sure, did she have a favourite flower you could use as a middle name?

Thanks everyone. I think we will use it if dc is a girl. And I don't mind if DH wants to use a family name as a middle name for future children - fair enough I say!