Should middle names have a meaning...

[KLG3101]

Our girls name has been decided, which is Esme. We are struggling with middle names though. Should they have meaning? We like Rose but I don't know if I can bring myself to use something so popular. My late fathers middle name is James and my FIL is james but can you give a girl a boys middle name?

They don't have to.

Our children's middle names were picked as alternatives to their first names should they not like them.

They are lovely names but they aren't named after famy members.

I wouldn't worry. Both of my boys just have middle names that we liked - one has a loose meaning (same as my dads middle name) but that's all.

Isn't Jemima the feminine form of James? I think Esme Jemima works quite well.

I think it's fine to just use a middle name you like the sound of, but both our DC have middle names that reference family - DD1 has DH's late gran's name, as he was very close to her, and we both liked the name, and DD2 has my mother's maiden name, which luckily is also used as a girl's name that we like in its own right. Surnames are quite a traditional middle name up here anyway (we're Scottish) and it's nice to have that connection.

Thank you so much for your replies, we really appreciate them. We like Valentine or Valentina as we met on Valentine's 12 years ago. Is that riciculosly cheesy?

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds called thier baby daughter James!

True! I had forgotten about that.

Esme James Alie (Alie is surname)
Esme Valentina Alie
Esme Rose Alie
Esme Anna Alie

I don't think middle names have to have a meaning. If there is a name that has meaning, that you want to use, and that goes with your chosen first name, then wonderful - but it is equally great to use a name you love, just because you love it.

Ds1 has a family name as his first name, and ds2 has my dad's name as his second name - but in both cases, they were names we loved anyway - if we hadn't loved them, we'd have chosen something different. Ds3 has no names with any family significance - they are just names we love.

Esme is a lovely name, by the way - and congratulations on her imminent arrival!

(I have an Esme too - Esme Bluebell)

Jacqueline and Jacoba are feminine forms of James (it is aa form of Jacob) and Jamesina is an old Scottish feminine form. Esme Jacoba would be pretty and unusual.

I don't think they should because everyone should do what they want when it comes to naming their baby. Personally though I do think it's much nicer if they have a meaning. I have a middle name that means something, which I've always really liked and I've done the same with my DC.

I don't like the Valentines reference, not because it's cheesy, just because it's a bit about her as an extension of you, rather than her in her own right iyswim? I wouldn't go for something that references your relationship, more something for her. I think James is quite nice, although if you're planning more DC I would save it for a boy. What about your maiden name if she's getting her dad's surname? Or his surname if she's getting yours?

Jaime (pronounced Jamie, I think) is a name that can be used for a girl, isn't it?

Thank you. I appreciate each reply. I feel like we need to love the name and the names which have meankng aren't names we particularly like.

My maiden name is a make Christian name! It's such a difficult decision.

I think James as a middle name for a girl is really nice, actually. The model Jaime King worked under the name James King for many years.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaime_King
Perhaps because it is also a fairly common surname, I think as a middle name for a girl it really doesn't sound strange or surprising to me.

Jamie I think is beginning to be used as a girl's name (personally I prefer this spelling to Jaime, which to me is the Spanish spelling, so I want to pronounce it correctly in Spanish, not as Jay-mee! Anyway, that's aside...)

That said, I think MNs are a good opportunity to honour people if you choose to, but I don't think there should be any pressure or sense of obligation to do so. My MN is just another name my parents liked, and both of their middle names, as far as I know, were chosen in a similar way - they're not 'family' names.

You can always go for two middle names. Have one just because you love it and the second as a 'meaningful' one.

At least if you have a boy in the future you're sorted for middle names already with James and your maiden name .

I think that Esme Jacqueline sounds fabulous!

I love love love Esme James surname. Sounds great. James/ Jaime has been an uncommon but accepted girls name for a while

Just to offer the opposite view on Valentine, I think that's a lovely reference, because that's where she's come from. She was made from the two of you, I don't think its any different to using family names etc.

Esme James Surname and Esme Valentine Surname both sound lovely IMO

We gave our DS his middle name (Frederick) after DPs uncle who passed away while I was pregnant.

He has a pretty marmite first name so if he doesn't like it when he is older, he can use his middle name if he wishes

I like Valentine/Valentina as well.
Other options could be:
Your middle name
The name of a female on your side of the family (eg your mum, grandma, sister if you have one, etc)
Or just a name you like! I don't see the need to use FIL's name, since they share a surname presumably, but if you really like James, why not. Unless you might have another child and want to save it in case you have a boy?

We use family names as middle names but only ones we like . My mum had mentioned to me at some point using my Nanas name as a middle name but we didn't like it so we didn't use it. I'll be honest I've 3 kids their middle names are never used, school doesn't use them, we don't use them. The only place that uses them is our Drs appt board.

From the names you've suggested I really like Valentina. I went into labour with dd3 on Valentine's Day and had always said that if she was born on the 14th I'd use it as a middle name. She sneaked past midnight and I didn't use it and sometimes I have a pang of regret that I used something else.