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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

How did you pick a middle name?

49 replies

Laliberty · 07/10/2015 05:42

I've always been of the opinion that middle names should be where you honour family names or name the person 'after someone' where perhaps that name wasn't quite right for the first name (my DD has a middle name which is a diminutive of my sister's name). However now I'm pregnant with DS I'm struggling to find a family name (or diminutive of) that fits with my preferred first name and our surname. So I'm challenging my own opinion! What criteria did you use for a middle name? Or did you just use a name you love?

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Londonista123 · 07/10/2015 17:01

Not at all helpful to you OP, just sharing :

No middle names on my side of the family. DP is Russian so our DCs will have his first name patronym-ised as a middle name, whether boys or girls. So if father is called Mikhail or Ivan, you get the following as middle names:

Mikhail – Mikhailovich, Mikhailovna
Ivan – Ivanovich, Ivanovna

Never "got" middle names so not bothered by these otherwise strange names!

SmugairleRoin · 07/10/2015 21:16

I'm a big fan of middle names being connected to family or having a special meaning. I don't mind how they sound together so much, it's not like the names are heard much together. But it's a plus if they sound nice.

Not had my baby yet (or picked a first name!) but I'll be asking MN for opinions on middle names soon I'm sure.

mrsgumpy · 07/10/2015 22:25

I agree with your reasoning too, OP. I have quite strong views that the middle name should be named after someone in your family. Otherwise it just seems like you couldn't decide between two names and/or is ostentatious.

With my family, I did a lot of a research into family history and if DS had been a girl, he would have had my husband's great-grandmother's name. It was quite fun asking everyone in the family their memories of her - she was much loved but her name had been forgotten by my husband's generation. I was excited to think we might be reviving it.

Now I might need to go have a third...

Original poster

Laliberty · 07/10/2015 22:29

Thank you everyone for your answers - although it does make it harder for me to deviate from my original aim of using a family middle name as most of us seem to agree that's the best thing to do!

I was hoping to use a family name from my side as the surname is from my husbands side, so maybe I need to relax my 'rules' on that. And I'll revisit the family tree my Mum's given me. I just wish I could use my maiden name as a middle name but that would mean the poor boy will have three two-syllable names all ending in -er

OP posts:

HarryLimeFoxtrot · 07/10/2015 22:41

Both my DC have two middle names - an English one and a Japanese one (MIL is Japanese).

DH chose the Japanese names (they are family names).

I chose the English names. DD shares her middle name with my best friend (BF's first name didn't fit with DD's first name). DS got the name that I really wanted him to have as a first name, but that DH vetoed I still think it is an awesome name

RumAppleGinger · 07/10/2015 22:48

DS1's middle name is the middle name of a fictional character my husband loves.

DS2's middle name is the name of a character from my favourite book.

fearsomepixie · 07/10/2015 22:55

Dc1 has two middle names that we chose just because we really liked them.
Dc2 has one middle name that is tribute to someone, and one that we just liked.
Dc3's middle names are both in tribute.

DramaAlpaca · 08/10/2015 00:46

Different for all three.

DS1's middle name is my brother's middle name, chosen for a particular reason.

DS2's middle name is also his dad's middle name, chosen because I love it and it goes perfectly with his first name.

DS3's middle name has a meaning that is special to him & his position in the family, it was the perfect middle name for him.

If I'd had a daughter, her middle name would've been the Irish version of my name.

In all cases their middle names are names we liked. I wouldn't ever have given a name just to honour a relative if I didn't like it. The sound of the full name and how it goes together is very important to me.

Lucked · 08/10/2015 00:52

ds has my mothers maiden name. Surnames are quite common middle names in Scotland.

Dd was difficult as we wanted someone from dh's side and they all have really dated names. Finally realised we liked the full name of someone who we only knew by their nickname.

Other options could be something to do with the time of year they were born, that could be nice for a Christmas baby.

fairyfeatures · 08/10/2015 11:22

honouring a family member for me now (as was not the case when I named my dd at the tender age of 19! Be careful not to use 2 names you love, you will never know what the future may hold...

As for middle names being pointless, complete nonsense. I would much rather be John Zebedee Smith than John Smith... Also we now live in such an online world, especially when coming to networking, it narrows it down when trying to find somebody or be found...

MrsBartlettforthewin · 08/10/2015 16:40

DD was a mixture of my favorite lit. character, my nana's middle name which happened to be a biblical name as well.
DS we went for a biblical one again because of it's meaning
With DS2 (due in feb) we are going down the biblical route again - focusing on the meaning.

VenusVanDamme · 10/10/2015 10:36

We used DH name as middle name. Not a name I'd say I particularly like and it's possibly not the best 'flow' but I know it was important to DH and you never really use the full name.

SuffolkNWhat · 10/10/2015 10:39

DD1 has my sister's name as her middle name and DD2 has part of my Mum's name as hers.

Yika · 10/10/2015 21:46

My DD has a middle name that is reminiscent of but not the same as, a family member. (Begins with the same letters.) Also, her first name derives from the same root as her great grandfather's name.

You could also pick a name which has the same meaning as a family name you want to honour. E.g. family member was called Felicity, you give the name Joy.

CityDweller · 10/10/2015 21:51

For me, middle names are completely about honouring someone or something (either alive or dead), otherwise what's the point?

DD has my grandmother's middle name (she died about 6 months after DD was born).
DC2 due shortly will most likely have a middle name from DH's side.

UntilTheCowsComeHome · 11/10/2015 00:59

DS1's middle name is the same as my dad's and brother's.

DS2's was chosen purely because we struggled to find one that went with his first name. We could only agree on two that sounded right so just went with one of them. I'm not even that keen on it as a name on its own.

Doublebubblebubble · 11/10/2015 01:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NameChange30 · 11/10/2015 04:33

I agree with the OP and Snozberry about picking a middle name from the mother's side if the surname is from the father's side (which is usually the case).

Other reasons to have a middle name are to include a name you can't or don't want to use as the first name (eg close relative has same/similar name, or name is a bit "out there") or give a more classic option if you've chosen an unusual first name.

Packergator · 11/10/2015 10:46

We only gave our son a middle name in case he grew up and didn't like his first name; it's a bit 'niche'!

He could also use his initials 'RJ' sounds pretty cool with our surname!

So there are other valid reasons.

motherofallhangovers · 11/10/2015 10:54

I think it's nice for a middle name to mean something but it doesn't have to be a family name.

My own middle name is a name which reflects my parent's heritage and appears in a story from that culture, so it makes me feel connected with their past without specifically being a family name.

Do you have any cultural heritage on either side you'd like to honour? If do that opens up thousands of new names for you to pick from.

Another type of name with meaning could be related to authors or musicians you admire, or seasonal - a nature name related to due date - when is he due?

mathanxiety · 15/10/2015 07:19

All of the DCs' names both first and middle are family names or have a connection to family. They also 'go' with the first names chosen as far as sound and style are concerned and they don't jar too much with a fairly clunky Anglo Saxon sounding surname though that was something of a tall order.

standinginthedoorway · 15/10/2015 10:42

I gave my DD my late DM's name as a middle name. She had passed away not long before I found out I was pregs so it seemed appropriate. I did think about just giving DD my DM's name as a first name but it is a bit old-fashioned so chickened out!

Bored12345 · 18/10/2015 19:54

Ours reflect my cultural heritage

SkaterGrrrrl · 02/11/2015 22:11

DD's middle name: DHs maternal grandmother's name. The granny died when I was pregnant with DD. MIL really touched when we announced the second name was to honour her late mum.

DS's middle name: My maternal grandmother's maiden name (surname).

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