Stressing out about whether to use Gaelic name when living in England

[DefinitelyMaybeBaby]

I am Scottish, DH is English, we live in South England.

I have always adored the name Ruairi(dh). Love the way it sounds, love the nicknames Ru and Ruay. I really wanted a Scottish name since baby will be brought up down south and DH agrees with this but just doesn't love this particular name like I do. He says it's hard to say in an English accent, people will always spell it wrong and no one will know how to pronounce it from seeing it written down.

I agreed to the spelling Ruairi, rather than Ruairidh. But DH still isn't keen and will only go as far as to suggest Rory as a compromise, which to me is just not the same - different sounding name, no nicknames and the name of a family member of mine so I'm less keen.

I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse here and if he doesn't love it I should just drop it but I can soo imagine our little boy being Ruairi. I love that it would be quite unique and unusual down here. I'm really struggling to let it go.

So basically I guess what I'm asking is 1) what do people think of using Ruairi living in England? and 2) If DH has said he doesn't love it should I drop it or keep trying to see if he comes round to the idea? (still got a few months of pregnancy left)

Go for it! It's much nicer/softer than Rory and ppl will get used to it. I have an Aoife (and live in england) and although ppl often hear Eva initially most ppl are familiar with it. I think Gaelic names are becoming increasingly popular as ppl look for more "unusual" names.
Good luck convincing your DH though! I did find that as the weeks/months progressed the names I loved earlier on were struck off the list by the end and others grew on me over time so hopefully you and your DH will both end up with a name you love in the end

I could have SO written this thread, I love it but hubs and his family are English and it sounds like they're trying to say brewery with their accent ..... It's the only name I ever imagined for a boy and the alternatives like Rory just don't cut it.

I don't know the answer but just wanted to say I sympathise!

We're using a Welsh name (as I'm Welsh), although we are living in England. I don't see anything wrong with it really. I know to begin with you may have to tell people how to pronounce it properly/spell it (as we will have to with our name), but I reckon after a few attempts it'll be fine!

Think really hard about how much mispronouncing it will annoy you and whether you can take it.

I've got an English name and a foreign name. I much, much prefer the foreign one but people just cannot pronounce it. Even worse, it is a tonal thing so many people can't really hear the difference between what they are saying and what I tell them. Some have actually started arguing about the pronunciation once they've seen it written down, despite never coming across the name before.

So, I don't use it. I use the English name I don't even like. Better that than 12 mini-rages a day about my name.

In English and, in my head, I know how to pronounce Ruairi. However, I can't say it without sounding like I'm saying Rory with a dodgy Scottish accent (dodgy on my part!). I think it might take a lot of repetition to get it right.

I do love the name though.

If you husband is dead against it I think you'll need to start looking for a new name.

Personally I wouldn't give a child a name that would invite daily 'how do you spell that/how do you pronounce that's. I'm certainly not saying people shouldn't choose 'foreign' names for their children but I know from personal experience how wearing it can get.

'I love that it would be quite unique and unusual down here.'

You may love it, he very well may not love it so much when he's older! I have an Irish name with Irish spelling and I live in London and it is a pain in the ass. Like Monstrous, I use the English version of my name outside of work.

I have an Irish name, as does my DD. Living in London. Her name does get mispronounced, but after a few goes most people get it close to right. It does sound different in an English accent (as english people don't seem to pronounce the letter r if it's not at the start of a word) but it's a name we love.

OP You say that you like the fact that Ruairidh will be 'unique and unusual'. However, to most English speakers, that will not be the case. They will equate Ruairidh with the English version Rory which is fast growing in popularity.

Ruairidh still a fine name. But, spelled the English way, it's not all that 'unusual'. Rory was a top 100 name in England and Wales in 2013 (the latest data released): www.ons.gov.uk/ons/publications/re-reference-tables.html?edition=tcm%3A77-318125

I live in the NE England and there's a Ruaridh in our toddler group. It was the first time I'd heard the name and I think everyone has to ask either how it's pronounced or how it's spelt. I really like it and most people you should only have to tell once. If that bothers you though maybe you should avoid it. I think Ruairi is a bit easier to spell/pronounce without help but people would still say it wrong and I personally prefer Ruaridh.

I love the name.
I think that it would actually be fine, people manage far more unusual names.
You might be surprised how simply leaving it to circulate gently in DP's head with little further discussion might cause him to like it more...