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Baby names

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Original poster

No one likes my child's name!!

88 replies

ButtonMoon88 · 23/04/2015 22:53

Hello I gave birth to my first child in January, a little girl. My partner and I decided on the name Jeane (Jean) after my grandma, and also because we just liked it and it suits us and her. Our immediate family love it, but there have been a few sarky comments from people and it's so hurtful. Not only does she share the name with a wonderfully strong woman, she completely carries the name off herself so why do people feel the need to comment?

Has anyone experienced nasty comments about names and how do you deal with it? Please don't bother to comment if you are going to say something unpleasant that isn't the point of my thread! Thank you

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Italiangreyhound · 23/04/2015 23:30

My auntie (who I really love) made a comment about my daughter's name (think something like Faith in terms if how common it is) and when we adopted our son she also made a comment about his name (think Aiden). However, she adores my kids and really truly was just speaking her mind. She didn't like the names! One I chose, one I did not. She also felt comfortable enough with me and with her own thoughts to express her opinion.

I don;t agree with her and I don't much like that she said it, but I love her and moved on.

I can see how frustrating it must be if several people have said this.

In your shoes I would simply introduce the name with your own little fanfare.... We chose this name because it is so special to us, it represent my grandmother.... etc etc...

And wait. If I got a negative comment I would simply shrug and say, Oh well we love it, and we love her, now make me a cup of tea that is what guests are meant to do when women have had babies! Or some such thing.

Italiangreyhound · 23/04/2015 23:31

PS my daughter's name is similar to a man's name, it never occurred to me so many people would get confused!

LuluJakey1 · 23/04/2015 23:34

It is a lovely name. I would think about it seriously if I had a baby girl. Ignore anyone who doesn't like it- no taste Smile

Tranquilitybaby · 23/04/2015 23:35

Who cares what they think, their opinion shouldnt matter a jot to you.

It's a beautiful name and it has so much meaning for you, what could be lovelier than that.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 23/04/2015 23:35

Great name OP.

Original poster
ButtonMoon88 · 23/04/2015 23:40

I'm really glad all of you seem to like her name, I never really doubted our choice it's just infuriating that so many of our friends have said its not nice, or girly enough!! I think I have been taking it very personally Sad

OP posts:
CaminanteNoHayCamino · 23/04/2015 23:41

That was DP's mum's second name and the one she was known by. You love it, and that's all that matters. My mother didn't like dd's name when she first heard it but it didn't matter a damn to me because she's my child and I (and seemingly every single other person who has ever commented on her name) love it.

I also agree that it fits the Granny chic names trend right now. But I think it is quite a lot cooler than most of them.

Wotsitsareafterme · 23/04/2015 23:45

Op I love jeane it's classy and a bit cool and retro in a great way and difficult to shorten or turn into another name. I love my dd's name but I did better with dd1 than dd2. Dd2 has a very girly name.....which toddlers cannot pronounce and therefore she has answered to Eddie since birth. Sigh

griselda101 · 23/04/2015 23:45

as your DD gets older it will fit her more and more and probably seem much more appropriate and suitable, even to the doubters. They may even change their minds especially as they see her personality develop. They will start to associate the name with the fab little girl who it belongs to, and forget their preconceptions based on people they once knew a couple of decades ago.

FATEdestiny · 23/04/2015 23:48

There's a Betty in my DD's class. She is the coolest girl I know!

pnutter · 23/04/2015 23:50

I was ready to be nice even if it was totally not my thing...but I love it ! Sounds like a strong name . Very feminine and strong. Families are so weird !!

Joyfulldeathsquad · 23/04/2015 23:55

It's lovely and it really nice with the family connection.

If I have a DS next he will be called Arnold (arnie for short) after my grandad who was an amazing father figure to me.

The next time any one says anything say "excuse me - she is named after my grandma who was a wonderful woman" I'm sure they will STFU then !

Original poster
ButtonMoon88 · 23/04/2015 23:56

I must admit italiangreyhound has given me a different perspective to consider, we don't agree and I suppose we don't have to. I just find it so bizarre that people out rightly say to us eurgh! I work with children and families and have heard a huge variety of names but I would never comment if I disliked a name!!

OP posts:
Joyfulldeathsquad · 23/04/2015 23:56

fate - I taught a little boy called Stan and that kid had swagger!

Original poster
ButtonMoon88 · 23/04/2015 23:58

Yes I think that needs to be my response rather than my stuttery embarrassed "well it means something to me"

OP posts:
pnutter · 24/04/2015 00:00

No one liked my dds name. Now she's 8 and it completely fits. And I didn't care anyway !

CointreauVersial · 24/04/2015 00:00

You can't please everyone. Every single name will have its haters. I do think it's very rude to mention it, though. I would just ignore, ignore, ignore.

For what it's worth, I think it's gorgeous as a name, especially with the extra "e"

stormyboots · 24/04/2015 00:25

OP my baby girl is called Agatha and obviously with that 'marmite' name i completely understand where you're coming from! People have not been obviously rude as in your case, but their stunned silence on being introduced to my beautiful baby has spoken volumes!
My husband and i love the name and once Agatha is up and running she will dispel all the old maiden warty aunts, witches and every other negative connotation.
Jeane is a perfectly lovely name, infact most names are just what a person makes them so just ignore the negative comments (opinions of rude people don't count anyway!)

IvoryMadonna · 24/04/2015 00:37

TBH I don't see anything wrong with saying you don't like something. I'd rather people were honest with me than insincere. People have different tastes and associations, and I think it's fine to say "that's not a name I would have chosen" or something like that, as long as you're not blatantly rude about it.

mathanxiety · 24/04/2015 00:45

I got this mug for DD1 when she went off to university.

The name you chose is lovely (and so is Agatha IMO).

When you have a baby suddenly the world and its aunt thinks you need to hear their opinion of all your decisions relating to the baby, names, feeding, nappies -- everything is questionable and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Eigg · 24/04/2015 00:46

Like lots of Scots I had an Aunt Jean.

She was an amazing woman. Absolutely kicked ass.

Try raising your eyebrow while saying silent when someone says anything rude about your fabulous daughter's name. They soon start to blush and back pedal.

stormy - Agatha is an inspired choice. Brilliant name.

ivory It doesn't count as 'honesty' if the OP hasn't asked their opinion, it's just ill-mannered an really unnecessary. In a million years you'd never tell another adult you didn't like their name on meeting them.

mathanxiety · 24/04/2015 00:51

In the case of a name, it's too late to change it, and why do you think the parents want to hear your opinion of it anyway, IvoryMadonna?

If they run up to you and ask 'What do you think of the name we chose for our baby?' that is one thing, but to hear the baby's name (maybe after asking the parents what the baby is called) and then to pronounce a negative judgement upon it seems a bit uncalled for, imo.

You can always assume parents have spent time carefully choosing the name, and in some cases the name will have some personal connection that is significant in their lives. All you can expect to do is wound with your opinion, no matter how tactful you try to be.

IvoryMadonna · 24/04/2015 01:51

I was talking generally, not just about names. If I paint my living room walls orange, I shan't mind if a visitor tells me that they don't like bright colours and would always go for magnolia themselves.

I did mind when somebody once told me that ceilings had to be painted white. (I had painted it the same colour as the walls. It's the way you say it.

Canyouforgiveher · 24/04/2015 02:09

I can't even get my head around several people of your acquaintance making nasty comments about the name Jeane (no matter how it is spelled) as it is a normal, usual, traditional, often used name. These must be very strange people.

As for the person who said you are ruining your daughter's life -- I think that person must have some fairly serious issues, unrelated to your daughter.

What's next - people fainting at the name Mary?

Coyoacan · 24/04/2015 04:21

I am shocked that people felt free to comment on the name of your baby. One of my absolutely favourite friends choose names I didn't like for all her children, but she didn't ask me for my opinion and I didn't give it. Her children have grown up to be such lovely people that I have changed my opinion about their names.

I gave my dd a very exotic name combined with a very common name. People would make comments about the exotic name and would just say well if you want you can call her by the common name. They never did.