DM says she won't have anything to do with new baby if we call him

[Jackieharris]

Sean Patrick (ok the Patrick bit was a wind up as she hates Irish names)

But I don't think of Sean as that Irish anyway.

I started another thread a while ago about the awful baby names she has suggested and they just keep coming:

Richard (Dick?! Are you kidding me!)
Paul
Douglas
Donald
Egbert
Edward (ned = chav in Scotland)
Graham

She says these are timeless names but they aren't. They are horribly dated baby boomer names.

we are aware our DCs will probably see them as trendy

Call him whatever you like, your Dm will get over it and call him by the name you've chosen, she shouldn't even be saying things like that to you

Edward is still current isn't it? And I'll bet Egbert will be revived soon. The others are not at all timeless. Surely nobody under 30 is called Paul or Richard.

Sean is a fine name!

Id reply "ok. Tbh if you are prepared to cut your grandchild out of your life over his name then it is probably better you arent around anyways"

She sounds entitled and bratty and like she is going to be the grandparent from hell.

If you give into emotional blackmail like this on this issue then she'll do it for everything else. Its toxic behaviour.

Let her get on with it and spite her own face if she wishes. Its her problem not yours.

Call your baby what you like. Its hardly as it you are considering something unusual or offensive.

She thinks your taste in names is awful.

You think her taste in names it awful.

Parents, not grandparents, name the baby.

I suggest you stop discussing names in advance.

Inform her when you introduce your baby.

(If you keep on about Sean, it'll all get even more out of proportion, and you'll have to use it, even you and DH/DP suddenly have a brainwave about a name that hadn't even occurred to you so far and is ideal).

(I know a teen and a preteen Richard, btw. There are all sorts of names in use).

Another clanger I forgot is Lester!

Tax evading jockey- no thanks!

This is dc3 so she is already a variable gp. She won't follow through on her threat but may do something daft like call him by his middle name instead.

(We have a mutual friend with a baby- they call him by his nn but she insists I calling him his 'proper' name )

I think Sean is a lovely name, just refuse to discuss names and introduce baby by his name once he's here. I stupidly listened to my mil when I was pregnant with my first 2 and changed names as she didn't like what we picked out (although the names I did give them in the end suit them) with my 3rd she calls him by a longer version of his name but I just bite my lip. She hates the name I gave my 4th and was actually quite nasty about it for the 1st year of his life. With my 5th and final child I didn't even tell her the names we were considering and just introduced my baby. She did say oh well you could consider X, y and z name but I just said no she already has a name thanks. I don't understand why anyone thinks they have the right to tell you what to call your own child

I thingy you were going to say you'll be naming him Nanasmells
Just stop talking to her about it.

Well as someone Irish I can tell you that Sean is a VERY Irish name, it's the Irish form of John... It is commonly used however in many English speaking countries (with some hideous spellings). As other people advise, don't discuss it with her again and if you love it, use it and be done with it. This is a point in case as to why I refuse to discuss names with anyone other than DH (and you lovely mumsnetters)! It's a ludicrous threat on your MIL's part and one she'll never see through.

She won't follow through on her threat but may do something daft like call him by his middle name instead.

Your mother is a toxic force. How much damage do you think this might do to your child's confidence? Grandparents should be on your childs side not trying to undermine you and make them question why their grandmother isn't respecting you or them. If she is like this, then seriously ask yourself some questions.

Pathetic is the right word, Hermia.

Who are these people, who not only think like this but say it out loud?

Rude rude rude! Entitled, controlling, ridiculous, pathetic...ugh.

Edward = ned = chav in Scotland? What a lot of nonsense...

Sean is a wonderful name. Ignore your silly DM.

For what it's worth, my very controlling DF said the same sort of thing to my DB about the name he & SIL wanted for their son. Apparently the black sheep of the family (about a hundred years ago) had that name, with the same surname, and DF wasn't having a grandson of his sharing it. DB & SIL, to their credit, went ahead with using the name. DF, I'm happy to say, got over himself eventually.

When I was pregnant 8 years ago my mum suggested I call the baby Wilhelmina

we told my MIL that we were going for an Old Testament prophet's name for DS1 and had pretty much convinced her we were going for Obadiah....
No-one else's business what you call your child and as other posters have said, she'll love him anyway

(BTW DS1 is Daniel - much relief all round )

I deliberately didn't initiate a baby name conversation with her as I know she has 50s/60s taste and hates Irish names!

It was the DCs that let it slip.

Peggy- ned is a nn for Edward. In Scotland people don't really use the word 'chav', they use the word 'ned' to describe a 'non educated delinquent' (it was even mentioned in the Scottish parliament).

Don't tell her what the middle name is, then she can't use it.

In defence of Richard, I know lots of Richards who are not called Dick! They go by Rich, Richie, Rick, Ricky or simply Richard. Dick is a very old-fashioned nn, and the only ones I've met are old men.

Egbert !!!!!! Graham !!!!!????!!!

The woman is obviously deranged.

Sean is lovely.

They might not be your taste but try to have a little respect for the thousands of people living happily with those names or who choose them today. They are fine just not your taste. I would smile & ignore if she was my mom.

What ragged said

As everyone has said, avoid any further conversations about names - if she asks, just say you're still deciding. Smile and nod at her suggestions. Not worth engaging imo.

When my dad was born (1924 RIP), there was an overbearing great aunt that everyone feared to disobey who insisted he was given a certain name. So they did as they were told (that's how it was in the olden days).

However no-one ever called him that, he was universally known by his middle name, the one my GPs actually wanted to give him.

If anyone ever called asking for Dad by his first name. none of us would have a clue who they were on about.

That was almost 100 years ago, OP, and I don't think you should be dictated to be 'olders and betters' in 2015. You could always give him an extra middle name if that would placate her though....

If she's one of those tedious Scots who comes out in hives at the sight of green and white stripes and anything Ireland related tell her you're going to call the child Tim. That'll really get her going.