Calling your child the same name as your cousin's child

[Earl]

I’d appreciate any advice – I am a born worrier so need some!

We are expecting our first child in the next few months and are having a boy :) We discussed names and decided on a fist name that we both liked, and had some reference to my partner’s granddad. All good, until it dawned on me that my cousin’s child has the same name ~(I hadn't actually realised at the time)! I have seen my cousin once in the last five years, we are not close. My mother however is with my cousin’s mum (my aunt).

Is it weird to name my child the same as my cousin’s, even though we don’t speak, and the children will rarely come into contact at all? Am I worrying too much about my mum and her sister having a grandson called the same name?

If you like it, use it. It's not like you really have anything to do with one another.

Is fine

I think it'd be fine. My Dad has the same name as his cousin. I'd say this is not unusual especially if it's a 'classic' name e.g. James. If it's something unusual it might look like copying iyswim

It's fine.

I would only hesitate if the cousins would have the same surname.

My DS has the same first name as my cousin's DS has for his middle name, both named for our granddad.

Tbh I would only be concerned about it causing a problem for your mum if her sister takes umbridge. Otherwise I don't think it matters. Is it a name that both boys could have variants of within the family e.g Jamie/Jim?

if it's a really out there name it may be peculiar, however if it's something well settled and mainstream (such as Charlie, Harry etc) I wouldn't consider it a problem

I did this, albeit accidentally as cousins DC was only ever referred to by a nickname.

Doesn't cause an issue, but I did cross my no. 1 name off the list for dc2 as same cousin had just used it for his third!

If you like it, use it.

My mum found herself in exactly this situation circa 1984 when she was pregnant with me. She wasn't hugely close with her cousin, but like your mum, her mum and the cousins mum (her auntie) were close. She decided against it, and now I'm glad she did as is hate to be "Staircase, Janes Staircase, not Marys Staircase".

My cousin named her child the same as my youngest child. It didn't bother me at all.

My mum's cousin gave her DD my name,too. No one cared about that either.

I have cousins with the same name plus surname but on different sides! They didn't meet until my wedding when they were in their twenties.

I have cousins in either side who have used the same name as one of my DC (I got there first ).

Really not an issue.

We named our dd the same name as my cousins dd. It's a relatively unusual name too but we are the same as you in that we rarely see them.

As we knew early on that we liked it, I messaged my cousin on facebook just to ask/let him know that name was on our short list and we hoped that was okay. It was just out of politeness but of course he came back and said it was absolutely fine and their dd is quite pleased about it too ??

My DS has the same name as my cousins DS, his son was born 2 weeks after mine and he didn't realise. It totally didn't bother me though as we only see each other every few years at weddings etc and I don't own the rights to the name! if you love the name then go for it.

Naming your child the same name as your brother or sisters child probably not the best but a cousin's fine, the children will actually be second cousins so stop worrying

I actually have the,same name as my cousin so a bit closer her mum and my dad are brother and sister my name however is a seventies double barrel name and her name is just the first of my two names I didnt think it was odd as kids as we rarely saw each other my grandparents may have thought it is was though!

It depends on the name, and how popular it is, IMO (excluding family names common to both cousins). 'Not close' cousins both naming their boys Jack? Not an issue. Cousins both naming their boys Atticus = potentially contentious!

I've done that. We're not close, but get on well and see each other occasionally. There's 11 years between our children so that makes it less complicated. In fact, it is the sale name as dh's uncle too! I chose the name because I like it and also because we've never known a person with this name (or derivatives) be unpleasant.

my mum has a Jonathan and my cousin has a johnathon.
two.of my uncles have Christopher. (they are both on my mums side) they have different nicknames. also the oldest Christopher is.in his 40s and the younger has just turned 18 so not like it was an accident. one uncle deliberately used the same name for his son as his brother had!

I have pondered this too, my cousins daughter is 15, lovely and my bridesmaid. I love her name and my DD would have a different surname. Is it ok?

Just had to comment.. Me and dh are in exactly same position. The cousins child with same name, reference to grandfather etc. Spooky! Hope you choose a name you love no matter what it is

We have loads of this in my family - my Mum's sister called her to boys the same as two of my brothers. Her brother called his daughter the same as one of my sisters. That's a lot closer than your cousins child.

You also end up with doubled names when people in the family get married. My son's have 3 uncles with the same name and 2 cousins and an Uncle who all share another name - we all cope :)

After I had my children i met up with an Aunt I hadn't seen for years to find her daughter had a son with the same name as one of mine and a daughter with the girls name we would have used.

Thanks!!!! I feel much less concerned now. So much blooming politics to navigate in my family, so it's good to hear it isn't a bad thing to do and my life (hopefully) will not be made difficult. :)

Not a bad thing necessarily, but I'd say a lot depends on what the name is.

Cousins both called Thomas, James, Henry - not even unusual probably.

Cousins both called Dexter, Zane or Otis - possibly seems a little deliberate.

I'm in exactly the same position, as are my DB and DSIL (also expecting). I had initially discounted my all time favourite boy's name as my cousin used it for one of his twins but when discussing names with DB and DSIL the other day, a name on their shortlist is the same as another cousin's son and they thought nothing of it! The name is back on the list! Like you, rarely see cousins but in touch occasionally on facebook and mums are close. Go for it!

I think it's absolutely fine too.