Name Regret......?

[UsedToBeASize10]

Here's the dilemma, in short:

Got one DD. Desperately wanted to use my fave name for her but partner just couldn't get along with it. What we ended up doing was picking something we both thought was ok for her first name, family name in the middle and THEN my choice as the second middle name. At the time, this seemed ok. I was afraid there might never be and more DD's and consoled myself with the idea that, well, at least it had been used somewhere.

Current situation = just given birth to DD2. I think you can guess where I am going with this. The name that DD1 has for her second middle name is still my favourite. I have tried exploring 'sound a likes' and names with a nickname potential that's similar. But in my heart of hearts, I know there will always be a pang of regret if I don't use it. I lay awake last night next to unnamed DD2 and explained how I felt to the OH. He simply replied - 'Well, that's one of DD1's names, so it's not feasible to use it for DD2.' So, I have half heartedly announced my alternative but she is not yet registered so I can still change my I mind.....

What I want to know is:
Do you think I can still use it without taking it off DD1's birth certificate?
Will DD1 wonder why she wasn't 'good enough' to have the name in the first place? I know it would bother me.
Has anyone else had this dilemma and if so, what did you do?

It has gotten to the point now where I am avoiding joining mummies groups etc for fear that I will meet a LO with this name and won't be able to stop myself feeling resentful. Yes, it is that bad.

Advice please ??

Honestly, so few people end up even knowing your middle name ( as often evidenced by the at weddings!) that I don't think it is an issue. Use it if you want. DD1 is unlikely to mind and will likely assume that her first name was your favourite anyway!
I don't think most people will care, and outside your immediate family, few people are likely to even remember your DD1s middle name.

Use it
If dd1 ever asks, tell her that you liked it so much - even after you'd given it to help - that you wanted to use it again.

Eh, use it!

My friend's mother is Kimberly Susan and her life sister is also Susan. And I know brothers named Frank Paul and Paul Frank. And three brothers all with the middle name Joseph.

Little sister, not life sister.

But you said your partner didn't like it? Surely that's important too.

I'm in a similar situation. Give ds the only two names we liked. Possibly the problem with naming ds at only three minutes old.

I'm now pregnant and wondering if baby is another ds could we use ds1 middle name?

I don't really think it will matter, and will be another connection they have together?

I'd just use it. Nobody pays much attention to middle names.

Surely the main issue is your dh, or does he like it now?

If I still loved it and DH had come around to it, then I would honestly still use it.
Congratulations on your DD too

Use it!

Frank Paul and Paul Frank LOL!

Congratulations UsedToBe! I would choose another one for your second DD TBH but I have a list of lovely names that are my favourites and I'd like my DCs to have different names.

There are so many gorgeous names out there it seems a shame to call them both the same name regardless of the order on their birth certificates. Would love to know the name OP.

I really love the name Savannah.

Dh hates it. If i have another dd i would be devastated not to use the name

When I say use it, I mean if your DP agrees. Not if he still doesn't like the name.

I'd use it. I love my DD1 so much that I'd happily have named DD2 after her anyway.

Think the issue is that your husband doesn't like the name. I wouldn't use it it in those circumstances. You both have to like the name.

Use Esme if you and your partner want to, it's fine.

Or you could call her Esmeralda (or similar) on her birth certificate and call her Esme? Just a thought...

Just use the name. Hardly anyone will know dd1 middle name let alone second middle name.

If you are worried give dd2 it also as a middle name on birth certificate but announce it as her name and go by that. I know a number of people called by their middle names as first name is a family name and not used in day to day life.

My DH and SIL have the same middle name feminine and masculine versions and it isn't even a family name, parents just loved it. It's actually nice, they like it!

Just use it, it's fine.