Name Regret......?

[UsedToBeASize10]

Here's the dilemma, in short:

Got one DD. Desperately wanted to use my fave name for her but partner just couldn't get along with it. What we ended up doing was picking something we both thought was ok for her first name, family name in the middle and THEN my choice as the second middle name. At the time, this seemed ok. I was afraid there might never be and more DD's and consoled myself with the idea that, well, at least it had been used somewhere.

Current situation = just given birth to DD2. I think you can guess where I am going with this. The name that DD1 has for her second middle name is still my favourite. I have tried exploring 'sound a likes' and names with a nickname potential that's similar. But in my heart of hearts, I know there will always be a pang of regret if I don't use it. I lay awake last night next to unnamed DD2 and explained how I felt. He simply replied - 'Well, that's one of DD1's names, so it's not feasible to use it for DD2.' So,I have half heartlessly announced my alternative but she is not yet registered so I can still change my I mind.....

What I want to know is:
Do you think I can still use it without taking it off DD1's birth certificate?
Will DD1 wonder why she wasn't 'good enough' to have the name in the first place? I know it would bother me.
Has anyone else had this dilemma and if so, what did you do?

It has gotten to the point now where I am avoiding joining mummies groups etc for fear that I will meet a LO with this name and won't be able to stop myself feeling resentful. Yes, it is that bad.

Advice please ??

Isn't Ezra a boys name?

I know a little girl Ezra, so had just assumed it was a girls name....but a quick google indicates that it is more common as a boys name. Must admit, I'd always assumed it was a girls name.

I think you can use the same names.... lots of families do that as a connection,for example in my family, every single girl born since time immemorial has the name Lillian as our middle name. It's not a name I love, but I love the connection with all of my cousins and aunts and grandmother. (One cousin named her first DD Lily Lillian though.)

I know it is not the same as using your preferred name as a first name and as a middle name, but you could argue that it is a nice link, and start a new family tradition.

Agree it sounds quite feminine Clash!

I'm not clear, are you planning it as DD2,s first name, or as a middle name again? I think middle name would be fine but if your partner didn't want it for DD1's first name, has he overcome his original objections to it?

The one think we agreed on with regard to our DC's names was that we would only choose ones we agreed on, we both had to give up our favourite girl's name because the other didn't like them. I couldn't have gone with a name DH didn't want, it would have spoiled it for me.

Clash you are right. Ezra is a boys name, a jewish name actually. I hear it a lot more here in the US. And of course there was the 20th century poet, Ezra Pound.

I think you can -and absolutely should- go with your heart on this one . No question about it . My friend has an Esme nn Ezzie and it suits her . If my baby ( due June) is a girl she will be Esra nn ( probably ) Ezzie .
Good luck and go for it !

I know a baby Esme, it's lovely, although I personally prefer Eliza.

I knew an Esmerelda is uni, she hated it as 99% of the time it was said Quasimodo like, she went by Emma.

go for it.

my friend has 2 daughters and the first dd's middle name is the second dd's first name. The girls love it!

i have an Esme - I would say use it regardless of the fact that it is your elder daughter's second middle name.
don't know where you are, but in England, it couldn't be taken off the birth certificate anyway.
my two sisters have the same middle name - one of them uses it as her first name and the other has it as her third middle name (yes, she has four forenames!!)
no-one even thinks about it - friends, future work colleagues and others won't even know - I have no idea what my friend's siblings middle names are!!

How about Phemie? Prn Fayme?

Personally I wouldn't use the same name. Only because there are thousands of names and most peoples tastes change. I doubt Esme will be your favourite name in ten years time.

How about Elodie?