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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

In tears because family doesn't like my baby's name

123 replies

ParsleyCake · 09/02/2015 21:22

It must be the hormones, but I'm completely devastated and in tears because my partner's family don't like the name we picked out for our baby boy.

My own family took a moment to think about it before deciding that they liked it - it's an unusual choice after all, but the reaction from the in laws has upset me so much.

We wanted to call our little boy Gryffin. I understand it's unusual, but it's not horrific, is it? It's Welsh in origin, and I just love the connotations it has with magic and knights and mythology. I always think of it as a laid-back, surfer sort of name.

We picked it out when I was only a month or so along, but then tried to take a few months to think of other names just to be sure we definitely liked it. Nothing else really seemed right. Now I'm twenty two weeks and have already started calling the bump Gryffin, and it just fits so well, but we started telling family to somepositive, but mostly luke-warm reception. Everyone was supportive however, and agreed it was nice but unusual. But when we told my partner's grandmother, she changed the subject, and we told a favorite Aunty and her expression was shock and horror.

Anyway, now I'm just depressed and upset. Is Gryffin really so horrific? There are children with awfully strange names these days, I recently heard of a Storm, a Phoenix, a Leaf, a Branch (not kidding!) and even a Banjo just in our local community. I can't imagine a boy getting bullied for being called Gryffin, it seems like a cool name? Am I wrong?

Do you think it's just that it wasn't to their taste? Or am I being cruel to cinsider calling my child this? I understand not particularly liking a name, but surely it isn't a completely awful name?

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EmberElftree · 10/02/2015 12:56

It's a great name! Gryf or Fin for short - it works all ways and is cute for a baby boy, cool for a boy and holds gravitas for a man. Never mind your family's reaction Parsley.

Hang on…Banjo...?

My DN was given an unusual name and some folk were like but it totally suits him and all the haterz can get lost.

flowerygirl · 10/02/2015 14:58

Great name! Certainly not a mental one! Ignore your family, they will learn to love it.

SweetCicely · 10/02/2015 21:00

I like the name but not this spelling

Cluesue · 10/02/2015 21:05

I love it,your baby,your choice.my daughter is Devan,not much liked in my family to start but most have come round,if they didn't,tough

DramaAlpaca · 10/02/2015 21:52

I like it, but I do prefer the spelling Griffin.

Ember Banjo is apparently popular in Australia, according to an Aussie friend who gave her son that name. I think it's after a writer.

skylark2 · 11/02/2015 11:12

"We made the mistake of thinking people would be able to tell us in a non hurtful way"

But they did tell you in a non hurtful way - nobody said anything negative at all. They changed the subject, or struggled to control a facial expression. That's not telling you something in a hurtful way - it's about as tactful as it gets. What you mean is "we made the mistake of thinking everyone would tell us it's a wonderful name."

I'm afraid I think it's an awful name, mostly because of the spelling. It doesn't say "my parents are arty and out there" it says "my parents are into kids books." That spelling's straight out of Harry Potter - it's the first half of Gryffindor. Have you considered Griffin or Griffon?

Are there worse names? Yes. But aren't there better names? "It's not the worst name we could use" seems like a desperately low bar to be wanting to get over.

Tisiphone · 11/02/2015 11:22

I think you were looking for praise and approval, and were hurt when you didn't get it.

Look, it doesn't matter whether they like it or not. I know all four of my son's grandparents hated his name, which we only told them after he'd been born, because (despite the fact that it's a saint's name from the region we're all from, originally Biblical, a real name and phonetically spelled), it's 'unusual', and standing out from the crowd in any way is bad in their eyes.

They never told us because I didn't ask for approval, and have a reputation for not suffering fools gladly. Not that my son's grandparents are fools, but I'm not about to call my baby 'John' (like both his grandfathers and all four great-grandfathers, his maternal uncle and great-uncle!) so he'll fit in.

Kewcumber · 11/02/2015 11:33

If there is a welsh connection then "y" sounds like "i" (short i) so Griffiths in welsh would be Gryffydd or similar (sometimes Gryffudd or Gruffydd). It way predates Harry Potter as a British name - the world didn't start with Harry Potter ! (which would incidentally be spelt Harri in welsh)

momb · 11/02/2015 11:48

It's a nice name. Not so out there that no-one chas heard of it, but unusual. Seems to have worked out alright for Griff Rhys Jones as well :-D

Florrieboo · 12/02/2015 07:47

I prefer Banjo :-) but, it's not a bad name.

Roussette · 12/02/2015 08:30

I just think you invite criticism if you tell anyone the baby's name before he is born, it's almost as if you are looking for affirmation. Whereas if you wait till after baby is born, it's a done deal!

JustPretending · 12/02/2015 08:35

Lovely name! Genuinely fab. And it's rude for anyone to say otherwise, even if it's not to their taste. Your baby, your choice.

Dontstepinthecowpat · 12/02/2015 08:40

Don't worry my family didn't approve of ds2 or dd name and that was after they were born

They got over it.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 12/02/2015 08:40

I like it and I'm more of a traditionalist when it comes to names! It sounds like a very 'brave' name . And love welsh names generally.

We didn't tell a single person what we intended to call DD before she was born, I knew it would get looks. They loved it when she was born though!

Solasum · 12/02/2015 08:44

Some of my family get round their dislike of my son's name by using a nickname usually used for a much more common one.

sunnydaylucy · 12/02/2015 08:46

I told in laws our chosen name for DD2 before she was born. Big mistake, they made their negative feelings known, I felt terrible and we called her another name. Although I love DD's name I still wish I had stood by what we had decided.
DD3's name was kept a secret!

I love Gryffin, FWIW. Stand your ground.

dietcokes88 · 12/02/2015 08:47

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt but I would reconsider.

Dumbledoresgirl · 12/02/2015 09:01

I've told this story on MN before so apologies to anyone who has already heard it, but I named our youngest a similarly unusual but not unheard of name (but Irish in origin, not Welsh). My father's first words - literally - to me as he walked onto the ward to visit me after the birth were: 'Can you change the name?' as though ds had been born with a name label round his neck which we had just accepted rather than thinking up a name of our own!

Needlesstosay the name did not get changed. It still meets with bemusement from many people, but my older son's friends proclaimed the name 'cool' a few years ago and it is this opinion that has now stuck in our family. When my children discuss names, everyone is in agreement that my youngest has the coolest name.

Gryffin is definitely in the cool category. Stick with it and congratulations on such a good choice. Mind you, I also like Banjo and I am utterly wowed by a PP who mentioned Stormchaser as a name! I mean, you really wouldn't mess with a Stormchaser would you?!

JoanJettPack · 12/02/2015 09:07

I think it's a great name!

I'm 30 weeks with my 3rd ds and when I told my mum the name we've chosen (Rowan) she told me it was a stupid name, asked why can't this one have a normal name since the other two have daft names, too and told me she's not calling him that, she'll call him Tom if anyone asks what his name is

She has form for this, though. My other two ds's have very uncommon names and very common middle names. She insisted on using their middle names when they were babies because she "couldn't get used to their made up names".

Stick with it, it's a fab name!

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 12/02/2015 09:30

diet why?! Because you don't like it?

Dontstepinthecowpat · 12/02/2015 09:48

Joan my gran did this with DS2. His name is Toby btw, not Rainbow Stormtropper

PrincessPilolevuofTONGA · 12/02/2015 10:05

when i told my DM what we were considering calling DD she said "oh please darling, don't" so we did

Postchildrenpregranny · 12/02/2015 10:29

I gave my DDs Welsh middle names-middle because I knew MIL would never attempt to pronounce properly .I think she initially thought them a bit ohtlandish( they aren't) but gradually came round to liking them .They have very traditional first names .

FoodieMum3 · 12/02/2015 14:55

I like it.

As above, NEVER tell anyone baby's name when you're pregnant because people will tell you that they don't like the name (to put it politely) whereas if you just announce baby as baby X after it's born, people will accept it or atleast won't say it to your face.

Although, I still remember the look on mil & fil's face when they asked ds's name. He was only hours old, in the hospital. It's an old fashioned, classic name and they were both disappointed that I wasn't going to shorten it. They still insist that he will be called the shortened version when he's older.

Please don't be upset xx

Abra1d · 12/02/2015 14:59

I like Gryffin.

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