Middle name help needed

[Mothersruin75]

We have 3DDs all have family middle names, we don't know if DC4 is DD4 yet but I'm really wishing we hadn't started this as it's a bit of a headache this time, especially if it is DD4. It's traditional in DH's family to have family middle names and we would now cause offence if we just picked a name we liked - grrrr.

We've used all the family names we really could, they were easy to choose & everyone was happy & honoured, we're now left with names that would cause someone hurt if we don't pick their name as it were! Our get out is to go further back in the family tree to great great grandparents of DC4.

We are likely to have as a first name either:
Jessica
Alice
Freya
Esme

Do you think we could use one of these:
Theodora
Euphemia or Maisie as she was known
Cecilia
as a middle name?

We have a very short surname.

I'm very tempted just to give in to DD1's request & have Elsa or Anna or both!

Hello - we are trying for no.4 and if he's another little man we'll be in exactly the same position. Been thinking about it and kicking myself all day! Your first names are all lovely - and imo Cecilia is brilliant. Esme Cecilia or Freya Cecilia sounds great as does Jessica Maisie...such nice names!

I like them all :) I wouldn't use Freya Theodora, Jessica Cecilia or Alice Cecilia, but I think the others are all lovely :)

Tbh though, even if it's tradition, I don't see the point in honouring someone neither of you have even met, especially great-great-grandparents and such.

Have you considered using a male relatives name in female form? Jean instead of John, e.g. If this is another girl and you don't try for another DC after, you could get away with it by saying 'Oh, we really wanted to honour you, Dad, but we don't think we're ever going to have a boy'.

Esme Theodora
Alice Maisie

I like Theodora as a first name, possibly shortened to Thea?

We used my first name as dd3's middle name, we had ran out of names we agreed upon, but joke that we couldn't afford to 'buy a new name'

Freya Maisie is lovely .

It is a headache isn't it? All three of my DCs have family names as middle names - although I now regret not using DM's name for DD. We went back to great-grandparents because we liked the names better but, had we known at the time that DM would die when DD was just a baby, we would have used her name to give them more of a connection IYSWIM.

If we were to have to a fourth DC (highly unlikely) we would be able to produce family middle names for a DD2 - but not a DS3!

I like Alice Euphemia, Alice Maisie and Alice Theodora.

Or give her your name as a middle name?

Or you can break tradition. SIL took themed names to new levels, her children all have two syllable diminutive names that end in -y, even if it should be -ie, including middle names. By her 4th we got a bit fed up. You have done your dues surely by now and you can declare that you really really wanted x name. Never ever apologise, it invites arguments.

I must say that in my family and DH's, middle names are always family names, and I quite like it, it worked well got the two DSs. For DD, heaven knows what I was thinking, but I agreed to have a grandmother's name as a middle name (she wasn't particularly special, she just died when we found out we were expecting). We chose a different spelling though (an accepted variant).

All of those are nice in various combinations - I think you're pretty lucky to have such a lovely selection of family names to choose from!

Like the pp's idea of using a male family name, even if you don't 'feminise' it.

I have to say that's a lovely list to be picking from for the middle name!!! Still feel your pain tho!

Esme Cecilia sounds nice

Thanks so much for your comments, you've given me things to think about and also that you like the names, I didn't know if they were a bit too much.

I do really like the family connections with the names and just want everyone to be as happy with the names as they have been. I would also have no problems not having a family name (or letting DD1 choose, DTDs are 14 months - I'm not being mean by only letting DD1 pick ;)) DH is adamant it has to be family though, his cousin has just had a baby & kept up the tradition too.

DD1 has a first and second name that are family related one each side, DTDs have a name from each side (one has my name) so this is the first time we will pick only one side. This is a very unexpected baby, I may have rethought DTDs names had we known!

I did know Theodora (Dora) and Cecilia (Sissy) - at the end of their lives they lived together and made the best rice pudding. I have very happy memories of sitting in their kitchen with this pudding! I think I like Theodora best so
Jessica Theodora
Alice Theodora
Freya Theodora
Esme Theodora

I also love Dora and Thea, DH wasn't against this as a first name so maybe this could be the winner, especially with the mention of food!!

Theodora could also be classed as a female form of my DFs shortened name, it can be shortened to the same. I think I could have a good argument here and not cause offence :) we're travelling tonight, which means DH is trapped in a car & can't avoid the name conversations - I'm far keener than him on this topic but now I've hit 30 weeks it seems a bit of a milestone to both of us & I have elcs booked for 39w. I'll see what he thinks.

Bit of an essay, sorry, I'm thinking & typing it all down.

We had a similar problem with DD2, so I ended up giving her my name as a middle name. It's a family name, and there was the added bonus that no one was likely to complain about it! I love my name, and DD2 is proud of it too.

I love Jessica Cecilia :)