What's worse?

[PilauMice]

Naming a child a name you don't really like or naming a child a nickname, even when you think only 'proper' full names should be on a birth certificate. This may be my choice due to a severe lack of compromise between DH and I!

Depends! An established nickname like Kate or Molly I think are fine for bc IMHO. But just 'rob' not Robert for example? I think you'd have to go full name...but I'm a fan of full names on bc. Lots of people will sensibly tell you just pick the name you like for the bc and have done:) good luck

Worse to name child a name you dont like of course!

I agree with shakemysilliesout. If I hear Tom/Rob/Millie etc, then I expect they're legal name to be Thomas/Robert/Amelia etc and it puts me off a bit when it turns out they are just Tom...
But then there are names with established nns that don't need the full name, e.g. Max/Katy/Annie.

Of course if you can't bear the full name then you probably shouldn't go with it. Although if you know that it's your child's name (even if you don't use it very often) then you'll probably grow to like it more. I'm gradually starting to like the name Gwendoline just because I like the nn Gwen...

We had that kind of. I like but don't love DS's full name but it is also a family name. It is on the BC but everyone is introduced to him by nn which will be the only name he knows unless he looks at bc until he is older.

I wouldn't go with a name you really don't like. I think it would be very unreasonable of your DH to insist on the nickname version of the other name though, because if you use the full name you have total use of either the full or the shortened version. You can use the nickname whenever you like. If you go with the nickname though, you only have one choice and can't use the full version. Why limit the child's options? Don't give in

. If I hear Tom/Rob/Millie etc, then I expect they're legal name to be Thomas/Robert/Amelia etc and it puts me off a bit when it turns out they are just Tom

Seriously? It puts you off someone if the name they tell you turns out to be their actual name? Why? It has absolutely zero to do with you, you will still be calling them the same name, they didnt pick the name, and why on earth would you be looking at other people's birth certificates?

What an odd attitude.

Agree with dia!

Diaduit Clearly I didn't mean it stops me wanting to know them or like them. Just takes me aback a bit because I have to stop to think about it. I'm of the sort who would never do such a thing (quite frankly I often prefer the full names anyway), so it's a bit stunning for me. I have a short name (although not a nn) because my mother didn't want me to be called anything but my actual name. While people do shorten my name occasionally, I would have liked to have the option of a proper nn. I like names where what someone calls you denotes how close you are. Like if my name was Elizabeth, but called Lizzie by my family, then I could introduce myself as Elizabeth and that would be the start of a gradual 'getting to know you' process.

That's how I see names. That's all I meant. If someone introduces himself as Tom, then I think they're being friendly. Then I find out that Tom is there whole name and it's a bit of a let down - for all I know, he only thinks of me as a stranger.

i don't get the whole thing about putting a different name on birth cert to what you will actually be calling the child. have never heard anyone mention it except on here and actually think it's really strange.

in fact, I think it's stupid if you know you won't be calling the child by that name. every time they go somewhere where their official name is used, every new teacher etc they will have to correct the person and tell them the name they actually go by! and as for "giving the child options", wtf?! a lot of names have only one version, no obvious nicknames and I'm sure those people aren't upset that they don't have other options! i'm one of them!

it's one thing to give them a name and use the nickname from time to time but if you intend to never use the full name I think it's really weird!

Just takes me aback a bit because I have to stop to think about it. I'm of the sort who would never do such a thing (quite frankly I often prefer the full names anyway), so it's a bit stunning for me

If someone introduces himself as Tom, then I think they're being friendly. Then I find out that Tom is there whole name and it's a bit of a let down - for all I know, he only thinks of me as a stranger.

You have way too much emotion invested in other people's names. It's quite odd.

What are the names?

I have this dilemma about Charlie and Charles. I usually think you should use the full name on the birth certificate but I really hate Charles and feel annoyed it could potentially rule out Charlie for me, which I would otherwise consider. It just seems wrong to name your baby something you don't like.

babyblabber I've never got that either!

I'd not compromise either way. I'd hold out for a name we both liked or pull rank and say "I'm giving birth to this baby and I'm naming him!".

You could always suggest that you have the final say on this child and DH has the say on the next one if you're planning more?

I wish I had only my NN on my birth certificate. If some one uses my full name they just get a blank state, I simply assume they mean someone else.

Consequently, DD's middle name is my NN. Happily it happens to flow better than my full name, because our surname is fairly long.

Bananatoast You could go for Charlton like Charlie Brooker?

OP best to go for nickname although I understand preferring the full name.

Hold out for a name you like. It isn't a compromise if you're not happy with either of the options.

To on a name hunt (another one) & the name may suddenly jump out at you. Best of luck!

I changed my name by deed poll from the birth cert name to the name (nn) I'd always been known by - so you can guess which camp I'm in. It caused endless confusion having a separate "known as" name.

I like names where what someone calls you denotes how close you are. Like if my name was Elizabeth, but called Lizzie by my family, then I could introduce myself as Elizabeth and that would be the start of a gradual 'getting to know you' process.

It doesn't work that way in practice I find. I always introduce myself as my full name, people almost always decide on a shortened version and start calling me that instead. Not that I particularly care, I even have people call me a completely different name (for some reason my name gets mixed up with this name a lot, I've just given up on correcting people).

squeak2392 I have a long, traditional name that is shortened by everyone and trust me, it's not that exciting. I answer to my full name and my shortened name. It's just a name.

I'm with you squeak2392, I always am put off by a name that's shortened on the birth certificate. For example, Tommy really is Tommy rather than Thomas. Nothing against the person, just the name.

But then my DD is the shortened version of her name on her birth certificate!

One of my pet hates is people with shortened names for middle names. For example, my nephew is Ralph Ben rather than Ralph Benjamin. Annoys me. But I'm full of double standards me

Why can't you compromise? There are MANY names beyond the two you're wrangling over.

If someone introduces himself as Tom, then I think they're being friendly. Then I find out that Tom is there whole name and it's a bit of a let down - for all I know, he only thinks of me as a stranger.

That's given me a good laugh. Thanks.

squeak2392 Your posts here are the most bizarrely amusing posts I've read on MN for a while.

I know a hospital consulatant with 'Sammy' on his birth certificate. So far no-one has refused treatment from him for not being named Samuel. There is a high court judge listed only as 'Sue'.

Not having a nn on the bc really only matters on MN.

Another one who is amused at some of the very strong feelings on this issue.
I gave my ds the full version of his name on the birth certificate, even though we had no intention of calling him by anything other than the shortened version.
I really wish I hadn't and have no idea why we did it, I can only blame hormones and a traumatic birth. We are not in the UK and here the birth is registered at the maternity hospital so you don't have a lot of time to make up your mind.

Far worse to pick a name you don't actually like, surely?