Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Would you give your child the same name as one of your parents?

52 replies

Strangerthingshavehappened · 24/08/2014 17:21

I have just found out I am expecting a baby girl. Since I have been a child, when I imagined having a daughter she always had my Mum's name. It is a beautiful name, classic, not overly popular but not completely unhead of.

What is worrying me is that because it isn't heard too often, particularly amongst my DM's age group where you rarely meet another, it is very much 'her' name. It has become quite popular in the name charts in recent years, although never above top 50 as far as I know and has now fallen out of top 100.

My DM would be honoured that I chose her name so this isn't a problem but part of me feels that I should give my dd her 'own' original name (in the sense that noone in our family has it) and I get a nagging feeling that I should think of something original and that it isn't fresh. The problem with this is that I can't get anywhere near a name I like as much and constantly compare any I think of to this one.

I have considered using it as a middle name but it is such a beautiful name imo that it seems wasted.

Your thoughts please?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Terrierterror · 25/08/2014 11:54

I'm glad. I know that sometimes people decide to use their grandparents names only to be told by them/their parents that the person loathed their own name!

ChickOnaMission · 27/08/2014 11:40

my son has my Dad's name, after him but also becasue I really like the name.

It gets confusing when we're all together though as I never called my DF 'Dad' always by his first name so when I'm talking about both of them, other people get confused, although I know who I'm talking about!

He was absolutely chuffed and cried when I told him :-)

squeak2392 · 29/08/2014 22:01

Personally, I wouldn't give my child the same first name as my parents unless they had unfortunately already passed away. However, I would consider double-barreling it. That would depend what the name is though. My DM's name is Anne, which works very well with most names, since it's so short and simple (I like Anne-Catherine) - and then I would either call her by her full name or Annie, etc.

I don't think it's a case of having her own identity though. As long as there's potential for a different name to your DM (e.g. my grandmother could call DM Anne and DD Annie), so that everyone knows who you're talking about, then it's fine. I don't really like when people do it JUST BECAUSE it's their parent's name, but if you actually like it then I can see no issue :)

Delphiniumsblue · 29/08/2014 22:11

I think it is lovely - unfortunately my parents have dreadful names!

MrsBeeBeeBee · 29/08/2014 22:23

My daughter is named after my mum (although my daughter has the nickname for my mums name rather than the full version).
I don't know if it makes a difference that my mum has passed away but the name is very much my daughter's name and suits her so much.

MadameJosephine · 29/08/2014 22:24

My DD is named jennifer after my mother, I've always loved her name and she was thrilled when we told her. They do have slightly different shortened versions though, DM is Jen and DD is Jenny

Floralnomad · 29/08/2014 22:32

My sister has the same name as my aunt - never seemed strange at all . The only other thing I'd consider is how would it sit with your husbands family - would his mum expect her name to be in the running as well ?

Delphiniumsblue · 30/08/2014 07:16

It is only what families used to do until about 1900. It makes family history much easier when you look for the traditional naming patterns.

Eminybob · 30/08/2014 07:22

DS has dp's dad's first name. (Although fil goes by his middle name) It's a family tradition and goes back many generations. DP only got it as a middle name. It's also a lovely traditional name, but not too popular currently.
His middle name is my dad's middle name, which dad uses as his known name.
Confused? I am

Original poster

Strangerthingshavehappened · 31/08/2014 10:10

Sorry I have neglected this thread for a few days! Thanks for all your responses and opinions - generally from what people have said it seems much more common for boys to be named after their dgf than girls after their dgm which is interesting. I agree squeak, if it was a deceased parent (which thankfully it isn't) there would be no question as it is a lovely honour of this persons memory and also there is no room for confusion. Just to reiterate that I LOVE the name as well as it being my dm's so this definately isn't about naming my dd "after" my dm, although as she is such an amazing person in my eyes it gives the name added appeal.

There is a short version of the name I like and would use but I think the full name is beautiful too so would want to use it sometimes aswell. The short name is very much not my mum's name, people always use the long version and never call her anything else. So perhaps it would work if I got in the habit of calling by the nickname when with family and as introducing/referring to her by the long name to people who don't know my dm? And then using a mixture of the both. E.g. if it was a boy called William, my Dad might always get the full title only but I could refer to my son as Will or Bill and that would distinguish him for family.

OP posts:

lecherrs · 31/08/2014 10:19

I was just going to come on and ask whether you have a shortened name that you could use as well.

My DD has a name that is very similar to two family relatives (think like john / Jonathan) but we differentiate it by using a different nickname. The nickname is totally hers, and we use that when with family, but otherwise use her full name / nick name interchangeably.

That could work...?

Pico2 · 31/08/2014 10:34

We were going to name DD after DH's grandfather if she had been a boy. Obviously she wasn't and DH later said that it felt weird naming a baby after a relative because she had turned out to be entirely her own person.

Mrsgrumble · 31/08/2014 10:42

Yes, it is tradition (backdating generations) for both both dh and my family.

DS is named after his grandfather and is a variation of dh first name. I love that it has a bit of history. It gave elderly grandfather a huge lift. I love the name anyway.

Vintagejazz · 01/09/2014 16:52

My father had quite a classical name that's actually become very popular in recent years and I would have had no problem using it.
My mother's name is a very dated Irish one (the equivalent in the UK would be something like Brenda or Pam) so no way.

But I think naming a child after their grandparent is a lovely idea.

mathanxiety · 02/09/2014 02:44

DS and DD4 are named after my parents. The names are fairly unusual, and in the case of my mother's name, it lends itself to a good few NNs -- my mother uses one of the obvious ones and DD4 chose another for herself that is really old fashioned and obscure but works perfectly. The other three DCs have other family names.

Mum's name was intended to be the more usual Irish spelling of the name, as she in turn was named after a great aunt of hers, but for some reason her name was given a very slightly different spelling - just one letter different, though her name was always pronounced exactly as her great aunt's name was. I used the 'mistaken' spelling for DD4 as the original great aunt's spelling is virtually unknown outside Ireland, but I tend to use the pronunciation of the great aunt's name on those rare occasions when I use DD4's actual name. (Just to be contrary...)

purplemurple1 · 02/09/2014 05:52

We have named our son after FIL and plan to name our daughter after my mum and mil as they fit together to make a nice double barrel name.
I'm named after my grandparents and like the idea and like the names obv if their names were horrible I'd have used a variation of them instead.

Boleh · 02/09/2014 06:57

My DM and MIL to be have the same name and I'd love to use it if we were to have a DD - as a middle name if not a 1st name - it seems such a nice way to link to both sides of the family.

sleepisadistantmemory · 03/09/2014 21:08

My daughter has the same name as my mother. My mum was named after her aunt. It's also my middle name. It's a beautiful, strong, classic name which I love but also I love that it has a strong family connection as my mum is such a special person as was my great aunt. I had discussed it with my mum first and she was surprised but understands the reasoning. DD's middle name is the same as DH's grandmother so both sides are included. If you like the name, I wouldn't hesitate.

Mammanat222 · 04/09/2014 13:25

The thing is you don't actually use your Mum's name much as to you she is "Mum" so the name probably feels quite new?

What does your partner think?

Our boy has his granddad's name as his middle name (it's also one of my bro's names as well so two birds and all that)

MirandaGoshawk · 04/09/2014 18:47

If you love it, use it. It will become your DDs as well as your mum's. You could have it on the birth cert and give DD a nickname while she's a baby. Beware though - it could stick!

I had always loved a certain name, right since childhood, since reading a book with a heroine with that name. But my ILs gave their dog that name So when DD was born we named her it but called her by a different nickname. That nickname stuck, the dog has long since died, but DD only uses her beautiful name on forms.

F0ssil · 04/09/2014 18:51

allmimzy I love Jane. Names are all so razmatazz these days, Jane sounds all sewn up.

It's my daughter's middle name and it's my mum's middle name. I can see it being a first name now, unfortunately I couldn't see that 13 years ago and gave my dd a predictably 2001 frilly name.

Kundry · 04/09/2014 19:03

If I ever had DC (which I probably won't) my first DS would be called after my much missed DF. As a first name - if DH doesn't like it, I'll smuggle the child to the registry office without him . First DD would be called after my DM but am prepared to compromise with a middle name!

Clearly it helps that I love both names as well as them, but I think it's a lovely thing to do.

minipie · 07/09/2014 18:54

I would be wary of naming my daughter after my mum - mainly because I'd be worried my MIL might be a bit hurt! But perhaps I'm being overly sensitive about that.

OP I would love to know the name!

Original poster

Strangerthingshavehappened · 09/09/2014 21:11

Thanks all very much for your replies and apologies that I havent been on to update! I definately feel more "yes" than "no" on here so that's good because deep down I was hoping people would say they thought it was ok!

Using it as a middle name isn't an option because we have a middle name (which goes beautifully with my dm's name) that we really want to use and because my dm's name is so beautiful imo that it would be wasted as a middle name and if I didnt use it as a first name this time I may want to in future. Also I think it is very common to use a parents name as a middle name so I wouldn't hesitate to do this if I wanted to.

To answer some questions, my partner really likes the name too and as far as he is concerned it is the one. If anything it is me dithering and him saying he thinks there is no problem with it being my dm's name. Also there would be no question or expectation for us to use dmils name as it is a very dated 1960s name that we would just not be expected to use!

I think this has really helped me make a decision - I think using my dm's name with the use of the nickname she doesn't use but I do like is the way to go

OP posts:

TortillasAndChocolate · 09/09/2014 21:16

I love the idea of this. I think you should go for it. I would also love to know what the name is!

Flip

1 2 3