Uncommon names- finding right balance???

[ACM88]

Just looking to start a discussion really. I've always loved my name, I don't think it's ever entered top 100, and I've never met someone else with same name in RL, although I know they exist, but it's not too unusual that I've had problems with pronunciation/spelling.

When it came to naming DC1 my OH said to me, you don't know how lucky you are to have been one in your class, even one in your school. He has a very common name, always in top 10, and was one of four in his group of friends alone. They began being referred to be surname or colour of their hair, or size. So we activitely looked for a name that wasn't in top 100. Even discounting names we previously liked because of their popularity, names like George, Harry, Amelia and Evelyn, which we now really dislike.

How important is it do you think that we chose names that could potentially mean our child is the only one with that name? Or is it important to have a popular name? Or do you chose what you like and these names just happen to fall either way?

Until falling pregnant I had no idea how important a name is, would be interested to hear if others activitely seek out unusual name, but not too uncommon that it can't be spelt, or pronounced, or grow with child into a suitable adult name. I found it an incredibly hard balance!

Wow, I can't believe that someone called their child Theon after the character in the Game of Thrones. He is such a weak person and has such a bad experience in the books/series. Really weird choice IMO.

Anyway, I have a very very unusual name, and generally love it. Never met another, although I know that others do exist, the name stealing buggers! . dh has a very common for his year name, and I don't think enjoyed it much at university where there were something like eight of guys with his name in our social circle (all given generally uncomplimentary nicknames to differentiate them).

I think that what you are after OP is the holy grail of names, the name you don't have to share but everyone compliments and knows how to spell/say. One thing to note is that compared to the 70s a much bigger range of names are in use so the likelihood of so many children with the same names in a class is probably smaller.

That said if you want to pick a name that is unlikely to be shared then you need to go off trend and pick a name popular in the 70s or 80s. Hazel and Joy probably fit that era, Wilbur and Wilfred are I suspect still bang on trend.

Slightly different perspective- there was an article (sorry cant link- was one of those situations where someone says "read this- it's really interesting" and thrusts their ipad in your hands) about the future implications of being easily identifiable by your name. The writer's opinion was that as search power gets better and better, people will start to trend back towards less identifiable names so that they cant have every fact about them dredged up from the internet in seconds (so it's better to be John Smith than Artemius de Crespigny because there will be far more hits and far more people with that name, so identifying that it is that specific John Smith who did something really inappropriate in a fit of youthful intoxication is harder than if Artermius did a similar thing). To be fair, this was part of an article about how he believes privacy will be the most prized commodity, so depends if you subscribe to that view.

I had one of those well known but not too common names growing up. I don't remember anyone in school with the same name.

And then I moved here (NZ). I'm surrounded by my name.

DD1 has one of those names that I frequently see described as horribly overused and boring. She's one of only 2 in her school. Nobody I know has the name.

I think it's very regional, and it may be different when she moves school. But so far it's no problem. We picked her name because we liked it and because of a number of personal associations.

DD2 probably has one of those well known but not common names, but it caused hysterics when we told Belgian friends (we'd wanted a francophone name but apparently picked the most unfashionable "old lady" name going).

I've found my unique name (first name + surname) pretty helpful career wise, but I'm old enough that my youthful indiscretions were only ever captured on old fashioned prints, and then rarely. My children are young enough to know to be very careful, I think it's those in between who are likely to have issues.

Really interesting views!!!
Completely agree with the poster who said it's your child that makes the name unique, not the other way round. Yes you are absolutely right. For us we have found the right balance of unusual/not unheard of. We wanted to have a name for our child that gave them a strong sense of identity. I know many factors go into installing this in your child, but the more we heard top ten names everywhere we went we really started to dislike them. It's really odd, opposed to drunk soppy talks about name choosing, when it comes down to it, it's very hard!!

My DC 1 has a very popular, top 10 name and most days I do regret not going for something a bit less common. It is a classic name, but it is still a slight irritation to constantly hear his name called out so often at baby groups, playgrounds etc and he is already having to use the first letter of our surname at nursery as there are three with his name!

It was really important to me to choose an uncommon name, but for it still to be recognisable. To me, some names are so incredibly popular (and they're admittedly nice names - that's why they're popular!) they start to sound nondescript.

But that's just me: I am a bit of a name geek.

Trouble is, Mumsnet makes you think there are no unusual/uncommon names left. If you put a name in your thread title, it is a beacon to everyone who has ever known of anyone by that name to come on and post. So you think there are lots of children around with that name when, in reality, it's not even in the top 100 baby names list and you are really quite unlikely to meet another child of that name.

Remember there are over 4 million people reading threads on Mumsnet!

My children's names are still well outside of the top 100 but if I am always reading on here that they are "becoming very popular" and "the next big name". The stats don't bear this out.

This website is pretty handy to give an accurate idea of how popular a particular name is at the moment, and whether it is going up or down in the popularity stakes.

So, for example, I can see that there were only 14 boys called Wilfred born in 1996, but more than 200 last year - so perhaps not a great choice if you are looking for something really off-beat. On the other hand, there are no Engelberts listed since 1996, so that could be the unique choice you are looking for.

(It's not absolutely accurate, as it doesn't count names when only one or two children are given that name in a year, and my DCs were not born in the UK so they don't count etc)

Really good point emily we actually decided on Kit for a boy, and we don't know of any personally, or even through friends of friends. But I've often seen it appear on here, giving you the false impression there are loads. I think someone mentioned regional differences too, and that's true. We grew up in Midlands, my name was really uncommon, but there were loads of boys with my OHs name. When we moved to live in the city, you come across a much bigger range of names, some of which I can't imagine ever hearing in the little town I grew up in!!

I have 3 dd's my oldest has a unusual name little more popular in France but still really not overused.

My 2nd dd age 9 has the most popular name "Amelia" but do you know what I really don't hear of any and she has always been the only Amelia throughout school!

My 3rd dd has a more unusual name though it's getting more popular and just made the top 100 (99 I think) year!

My 4th dd due in couple of weeks will be Lucy, yes apprantly it's very popular and in the top names but again I hardly know any the ones I do know are on there 30's and 40's but I love the name so doesn't really bother me how popular it is

I think rhubarb had my OH not hated his common name so much, we would have chosen top ten names, because they are names I grew up loving!

I think there is a difference between choosing uncommon names and choosing "unique" names.

I prefered my kids to have uncommon names, names that are recognisable as names but not eyebrow raising - having said that, they both have surnames for first names and DS2's name has probably had the most widely varied responses - its a total Marmite name but I loved it!

That being said, I don't dislike names in the Top 50 at all but I wanted my sons' names to set them slightly apart.

I have 2 boys but my chosen girls names were also relatively uncommon - and in fact, my front runner was Darcey for about 5 years but now that it's increasing in popularity in the UK, it's put me off slightly. Can't explain why though!

My friend is good at choosing uncommon but not unusual names so has a Faye and Anne-Marie.

I would suggest those or

Sarah
Naomi
Nina
Rebecca
Camilla
Nicolette
Jayne

Richard
Andrew
Simon
John

Boring to us children of the seventies perhaps but very uncommon now.

Interesting thread.

When we named DD (now age 5) I really wanted a name that wasn't too popular. We actually picked a different name a few weeks before she was born as I was worried that our first choice was too popular. She ended up with a name that became even more popular, and is now frequently referred to as overused. She is the only one in her year at school though and I only know of one other in the school. We haven't met many, but DD actually loves it when we do.

I'm currently pregnant with DC2 and I'm trying to be less concerned by popularity. I have loved the name Noah for a boy for 10+ years, and while I was put off by the popularity initially I have since come to the conclusion that the stats are so unpredictable that there is really no point in dwelling on it too much. I love the name and know it will never feel dated or boring to me. I think choose a name that you genuinely love rather than worrying about where it falls in the charts.

When naming DS, we discounted the one name that DP and I agreed on, when we found out how popular it was at the time. (FWIW the name was Finn).

We agreed on a name after DS was born which we both love, and is very unusual (only 7 with his name in England and Wales that year).

Later with DD, we also found it hard to agree on names. There was a name I'd always liked for a girl, years before I ever had DC, but I'd discounted it long before I got pregnant, when I discovered it was becoming popular. (Only in the top 200 in England, but top 50 in Wales). DP liked that name too. After much umming and ahhing, I decided not to worry about it being popular and use it anyway.

For the first year, however, I had a nagging feeling that somewhere out there was the unusual name I should have named DD, I just hadn't been able to find it, and I still looked at name threads looking for it, from time to time. That's mostly worn off now, and she's grown into her name, which we love and very much suits her.

Incidentally, turns out there's a bigger girl with the same name on the same street. But turns out also I don't mind that at all. (DD too young to have an opinion on it right now!)

Yes definite difference between uncommon and unique. I am really beginning to understand how vast regional differences can be.

I'm really delighted with our names choices, I know they will probably be quite unexpected, especially to our old friends in the midlands. I would honestly say, in the decade me and my OH have been together, name choosing has been one of the biggest and hardest decisions we have made!!!