Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

baby naming dramas

28 replies

LittleKirk · 12/08/2014 08:32

hi ladies

I'm having a lot of conflict about our choices for baby names...

we had a pretty big list and we thought we would like to involve our son in the choices and we finally all settled on Noah and Olivia (we don't know what we are having so prepared for both).

we had this all settled just after my second scan but now I'm in my final trimester everyone is weighing in on their thoughts. my son let slip the names as we didn't actually tell anyone (previous experience told me to keep quiet!) and its really starting to get to me.

my dad thinks the baby should be called James (the surname is Kirk...) but he won't listen when I explain that my partner was bullied for several years by a boy named James. my Dad is also very pushy for the name Freya which is pretty but it's just not something we both liked.

and now open the flood gates for everyone's opinions. I get told off (actually told off) by my mother in law for our name choices and now my mum is pushing her opinions on names.

it took us ages to get a shortlist and now with an impending due date I'm frantically searching the baby book and getting emotional because I don't feel settled. I know it's only a name for a baby but I don't want to go into the hospital without a clue. for our son Bradley we had 3 names for each sex so when he was born we could chose accordingly but now I feel like I'm down to nothing....

can anyone give any advice our guidance? I feel a little all over the place x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
UriGeller · 12/08/2014 08:49

Congratulations, those are beautiful classic names!

Having a baby seems to be permission to being dictated to by family, but honestly, how dare anyone else tell you what to name your baby?!

I would smile and nod and change the subject. Let them know you've made your choice and its absolutely not up for discussion.

wigglesrock · 12/08/2014 08:49

Well, I love your 2 chosen names, one of my daughters has the girl one Grin and Noah was on my boy list! I have three daughters.

If you're happy with your names, just stick with them. If anyone sticks their oar in, just tell them you've picked your names, you're not discussing it and they're now upsetting you. Have you thought of middle names? Middle names were invented for situations like this Wink

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Dancealot · 12/08/2014 08:51

It sounds like you are never going to please everyone so stop trying! You have picked two lovely names, stick with them!

Delta987 · 12/08/2014 09:46

Hi - from what you've said, the only drama here is coming from your family thinking that they have any right whatsoever to comment on your name choices - unless you asked for their input which I don't think you did?

Please don't let them bother you, these are the names you and your hubby have chosen for YOUR child. If you haven't the confidence to tell others to keep their opinions to themselves, just let them go over your head and then when Noah or Olivia arrive, they'll all forget the naming palaver.

Trust me, my son has 2 cousins with what I think are some of the WORST names I've ever heard but that's my opinion and not one I'd ever have shared with their parents. And frankly, now the children are 5 and 2, they are just the names they have and I think nothing of it.

Your name choices are lovely, stick with them.

brokenhearted55a · 12/08/2014 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjodisfunction · 12/08/2014 21:30

next time they complain about your choices, just turn around and say this is not for discussion thank you, we have picked our names end of.

family always think they can help out or influence your name choices.

they are lovely names and its great you have involved your ds , stick to your guns and don't worry about upsetting anyone your pg they will forgive you.

MummyAngharad · 12/08/2014 22:25

Am I the only one nerdy enough to know James Kirk is the captain in Star Trek?

Please don't let others influence you on names, stick to the ones you have decided. Once the baby is born and names nobody will comment as they will love little Noah or Olivia so much that they will grow to love their name and they won't seem like any other name.

Bowlersarm · 12/08/2014 22:28

James T Kirk....us enterprise.

Don't tell them your names!

It's your decision what you call your child. Nothing to do with them. They've had their chance when they named their own children. Now it's your turn.

MrsJoeDolan · 12/08/2014 22:29

no Mummy that was my first thought.... I will add OP there is a new Star Trek film due out next year so a great reason not to name baby James.

BiggerYellowTaxi · 12/08/2014 22:31

Mummy was just about to point out Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise Grin

OP Noah and Olivia are both perfectly lovely names. I would literally stick my fingers in my ears and say "la-la-la, I can't hear you " whenever any of your family bring up names.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 12/08/2014 22:33

Well mummy I assumed that was why OP told us the surname Smile.

You have picked two lovely names. Tell everyone to sod off keep their noses out!

bethellex · 12/08/2014 22:38

Noah and Olivia are both lovely and were actually on my short list too - don't listen to others opinions! You have to pick a name that you and your partner like - no body else!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 12/08/2014 22:48

Just smile and ignore. If they push the subject just smile again and say "well, we haven't quite decided yet". Make sure that you always say we and keep a united front Smile

Original poster
LittleKirk · 13/08/2014 07:35

thanks everyone for your comments :) I tried to tell them last night to keep their opinions to themselves... it's our child and we have a right to chose our baby's name... it fell on deaf ears so instead just took the approach that everything they said was amazing and we would put it on our shortlist and when baby comes we can make a decision then. this seemed to please everyone then and hopefully the subject is dropped.

(and yes James Kirk was star trek inspired lol)

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 13/08/2014 12:59

Tell them to pipe down!

You could always go with Tiberius if you wanted a nod to James Kirk without actually calling him James. Only serious Trekkies like me would notice!

Noah and Olivia are both lovely, normal names. Stick to you guns.

vvviola · 13/08/2014 13:04

We told people we were calling DD1 Gertrude Bartholomew, whether she turned out to be a girl or a boy. DH was pretty good at doing it deadpan too, so when we actually named her (something pretty traditional) there wasn't a peep from anyone Grin

Can you do that - tell them they've convinced you, that you are going to name the child something that would be considered totally off the wall in your family. And just quietly keep your original names. They'll be so relieved when you eventually use the names they'll swear it was their idea all along.

Or just tell them it's your choice and you don't want to talk about it any more.

silveroldie2 · 13/08/2014 19:40

Both are lovely names so don't budge.

Tell them you've changed your mind, a boy will now be named Dweezle and a girl Cleopatra (or something equally stupid) and let them moan and cry.

MissVanDyke · 13/08/2014 19:47

Both names are lovely and I love that you chose as a family with your DS.

Stick with the names you have chosen or you'll probably always wonder.

bouquetofpencils · 14/08/2014 22:30

Yes pick two truly awful names and be totally deadpan and then they will be mightily relieved when you announce Noah or Olivia.

How anyone thinks they have the right to pressure you on names never ceases to amaze me. Don't they read Mumsnet?? Tsk.

bubalou · 15/08/2014 11:20

I love both your names. It has quite frankly fuck all to do with them and if you want to name your child -

Fox-river storm tiger lily rainbow

(Please don't)

Then that is what you should call them!!!!

Stay strong and do what you and your partner want. Smile

stiffstink · 16/08/2014 01:36

We told everyone we'd decided on Velociraptor as a strong name which indicated a clear love of nature and science.

Everyone knew it was a code word for 'fuck off!'

Mutteroo · 16/08/2014 02:04

My mother was just a little interfering & when I read her my a name I found from the baby book which I loved the sound of, she stuck her nose up & said "urgh no!" DH was working nights & the following morning he came in telling me he had discovered a great name from the front page of a wildlife magazine. Would you believe he found the same name? After this I didn't care what my mother or anyone else's opinion was as it was our baby & our choice.

My MIL can't stand my DS name, but it has never stopped her loving him as much as the other grandchildren, plus she's never mentioned her dislike of the name to us after the birth. I love your name choices & you need to keep strong & not allow others to stick their noses in, unless you're unsure of your names yourself?

londonkiwi · 16/08/2014 05:47

Why are you letting them have any say or influence over your choices?

My 3 yr old DD told my MIL she wanted our new baby to be called LuLu or Amy. MIL replied "well I like Amy but I don't like Lulu at all" and even that was enough for me to remark to MIL (pleasantly) that just as well the name choice is nothing to do with her!

burgatroyd · 16/08/2014 07:33

Going to offer a different opinion here.

I like the idea of families coming up with a suggestion. Or even the grandparents.

My mum chose my first daughters name and I never looked back.

Dd2 was my own choice and to be honest it doesn't matter either way.

I really hope I can be part of my daughters baby naming process if they have children. And if they suggest murgatroyd I will be saying something for sure! Grin

And since you're posting the question about Noah and Olivia I think their popularity would put me off.

HibiscusIsland · 16/08/2014 10:32

I think you would regret letting family bully you into not using your chosen names Olivia and Noah. I agree re telling them you have changed to a fake name. Something like Egbert and Maud.

Swipe left for the next trending thread