Tradition for using mother's maiden name as a middle name?

[StetsonsAreCool]

Disclaimer: am 15 weeks and bordering on narcoleptic, so apologies if I don't reply tonight.

We're trying to find names for DC2, due at Christmas, and we're drawing a complete blank.

MIL is Scottish and her MN is, I think, her mum's maiden name. DH would like to use her MN for this baby's MN if it's a girl. Can we use half a tradition like that? In that, it will skip a generation and then not be either mine or Mil's MN?

Full name would be Maggie (or Margaret) Mercer Joy Surname. Joy would be for my Nan, whose middle name it was supposed to be if her dad hadn't got pissed on the way to the registry office and forgot it!

First name still up for debate, we have numerous stupid self imposed rules :)

Your baby, your name choice.

My grandfather (also Scottish) had his mother's maiden name as his middle name - Smith

We've done a similar-ish thing in that we've given DD (16 weeks) an extra middle name, which should be DH's surname - his paternal grandfather died when DH's father was a baby. His mother remarried and they changed DH's father's surname, so the surname DH has is not his "blood" name IYSWIM.

if it's traditional for MIL to have her mum's maiden name as a middle name, of course the baby would have your maiden name. you're the mum in this situation not your DH'S mum.

I agree with Keith. Adopt the tradition, but use your maiden name. If you like it, that is!

Dd has two middle names, they are the same names as my mother and my mothers grandmother.

I really like the thread of tradition, especially as it comes down the maternal side. However I liked the names anyway, I wouldn't have picked them otherwise.

Keith, that's what I said to DH :)
Wouldn't use mine for a couple of reasons (doesn't sound right, mostly)

But that's part of my concern, that we're tenuously using this tradition to justify giving the baby a MN that would mean a lot to DH, just like using Joy would mean a lot to me.

Of course, I'm completely overthinking it! I think because we are struggling so much to find any names that we like at all!

I hate this Scottish tradition.

I have my mother's maiden name, which is also a boy's christian name as my middle name and hate it.

It was so embarrassing as a child that I used to pretend it was something else.

Just because something is a tradition doesn't make it good or correct.

The other problem is, if we try and shoehorn this in because of 'tradition' then tradition could leave us with a boy called Alan

Fwiw, I like Alan, but it sounds absolutely terrible with our surname.

I have my grandmother's maiden name as a middle name, like Lesley's mine is also a boy's first name. TBH nobody except close family gives a toss about middle names so you can do what you want. I don't know or care about the middle name of any of my friends. I can't think of an occasion when I needed to use my middle name either, just my first name and surname.

Lesley, that's another reason I wouldn't use my maiden name, it's too much like a boys name.

well in that case, if you like the name - use it! if you're just not sure about it maybe keep it in mind because DH likes it.

I like the idea of important family members maiden names as middle names but they don't always sound 'right'. DH refuses to use mine for any future child, pah!

Me too, with the boys name, maiden name, middle name.. !

I don't use it at all now. It's on my passport but nothing else at all.

Don't know what my parents were thinking. I have older brothers who they gave it to, so they had no need to saddle me with it.

I think children are people in their own right and as such don't agree with naming them after other people- there are lots of nice names without resorting to crusty old surnames as middle names.

Having said that it's your baby and your choice but I wouldn't let the meaning or rules overshadow how nice the name sounds.

This is the first name that feels like a contender, so I'm not going to strike it just yet!

I don't feel bad about butchering the tradition now. We can present it as a name that has some family meaning instead, if we really have to justify to other family members - like Songs says, it's only family that really care about the middle names anyway.

Will focus on first names for now. Inspiration anyone? :)

Lesley " I hate this Scottish tradition.

I have my mother's maiden name, which is also a boy's christian name as my middle name and hate it.

It was so embarrassing as a child that I used to pretend it was something else.

Just because something is a tradition doesn't make it good or correct"

I hate it too. My middle name is a surname, I hated it as a child and used to pretend I didn't have a middle name- I still do!

Even worse than when I married my OH had the same surname as my middle name.

So I went from ( and these are not my real names -just an example)

Sarah Brown Adams
to
Sarah Brown Brown, or technically Sarah Brown Adams Brown.

Just too silly for words.

Hmm, yes, hadn't considered that she might marry a Mercer! Not that she would have to take a different surname mind.

I'm going to have a boy after all this aren't I? :)

I think it's lovely.

FWIW, Scottish women's names have a really long tradition - Scottish women kept their names after marriage much longer than in other English-speaking countries. So I think in that sense, it'd be very fitting to keep 'half' the tradition - you could justify it by saying it is a tradition that must have its origins in Scottish women's naming through history.

But in any case, I'd certainly say go with it if you like it - it sounds pretty IMO, but that's just me. Joy was my nan's name.

Oh no Deepblutr you're even worse off than me!!

I made sure my DCs had fairly normal first and middle names so they wouldn't have to suffer as I did.

As if my middle name wasn't bad enough, I had an unusual christian name which nobody could spell and was the only one in my large school with it - my parents have a lot to answer for!!

my aunty did this with my cousins and my cousin (her daughter) did it for her DC.

so it's FirstName MiddleName MaternalGM'sMaidenName Surname (her husand's, in this case, as she kept her name or marriage).

We've already cursed DD with having to spell both first name and surname. Tbf, our surname is very rare (I'm now one of two people on the whole of FB with my name, and I was there first!) but we also chose a first name that can be spelled 3 or 4 ways. Whoops!

Straightforward first name is one of the rules this time :)

My DP and I are not married. We decided to give our children his surname partly because it sounds better with their names, partly because people can actually spell it and understand it, and partly so that in situations where I was not around to endorse him (eg at passport control) he wouldn't be given too much of a grilling about his relationship to the children. However, I felt pretty strongly that since I was the one giving birth my name should be in there somewhere. So my (admittedly unusual) surname is used as a middle name, and I am am very happy with that. I wouldn't expect my sons to carry the name forward another generation, unless they wanted to, but I like the fact that it's there. OP I think you should use names you like, and if they happen to be traditional in your DH's family, then great, but don't use them just because it's the tradition...

My mums maiden name wouldn't work either unfortunately. But then, DH wants to recognise his m

Bloody hell.

...his mum, and this traditi

Fucksake!!

... Tradition seemed a good way to do that, rather than using her first name. It reflects his Scottish heritage and his mum in one swoop.

I'm not risking any more posts now! Bloody phone!

Thanks biscuits. I like the flow of the name more than the tradition, so I'm glad we've got a name for the list. The half tradition is a nice extra, but I won't follow the tradition for the sake of it, to the detriment of the name.

Maggie Mercer Joy is officially On The List! Hurrah!

And thank you everyone for your controbuti