Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Sister & I like the same name

46 replies

180209cooper · 14/02/2014 14:09

Whilst speaking to my sister recently about what were going to call our new baby. We told her the boys name & girls name we had decided on. She told me the girls name was the name she would use if she had a girl in the future. I spoke to other family who agreed she has always said this but I genuinely have never heard her mention it. My sister hasn't spoken to me about names since & is apparently upset!
The problem is my hubby is 100% set on this name & says she may never have a girl & first come first served. I love it but could be swayed by another.
What are your opinions please on whether you would use this name or not?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

madcatlady444 · 14/02/2014 16:38

Spottybra that is just what happened in my family! I didn't know until after we named our youngest DD Lucy that it was my sister's favourite name, but first come first served! I never liked being the eldest but for once being older & getting married first was to my advantage

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 14/02/2014 16:41

I think you can use it.

But just to warn you, this happened in may family. Sister 1 had a baby, used the name and then 5 years later sister 2 had a baby and used the name again regardless. It's an uncommon name too.

MaryWestmacott · 14/02/2014 16:48

I would suggest you use it anyway. I have a favourite girls name, if you'd asked me 10, possibly even 15 years ago what I'd like my daughter to be called if I had a baby, I'd have said this name. DD was born last summer, and as I already have a DS and we are only having 2 DCs, the only DD I expect to ever have, but she doesn't have that name. DH told me he hated it, he really tried and said if it really meant that much to me, we'd go with that name because I got the final say given that I was the one giving birth, but I couldn't make him have a DC with a name he hated, so I presented him with a list of 3 other names I really like and he picked one he liked off that.

Go with the name you like.

anothernumberone · 14/02/2014 17:14

Thank you. Im due 4 weeks today. We are both going to have the same married name, no relation though

That is a coincidence. Congrats on the baby. I hope the name works out for you.

Original poster

180209cooper · 14/02/2014 17:16

Thanks everyone. I think if it was the other way round she would defo use the name & wouldnt give it up for me but I just feel really guilty about it. Also I think she would still want to use the name but hopefully her hubby to be would talk her out of it, he he

OP posts:

dietcoketime69 · 14/02/2014 18:01

I think it's a tricky one to be honest, and it does depend on the name... If it's Lucy or Emily, for example, then I'd say that was ok to use. However, if it was something less 'popular' then it's more difficult I think. I think many of us have names that we put aside for future children whether we are actively trying to get pregnant or not, I know my sister has certain names she loves even though she would not plan to have children for a few years and that means for me personally, it would feel wrong to use them. It also depends on the relationship you have with your sister... We are very close.

Original poster

180209cooper · 14/02/2014 18:07

I agree. We are very close but I genuinely didn't do it deliberately. I had no idea at all she liked it & we had practically chosen it when I told her.

OP posts:

dietcoketime69 · 14/02/2014 18:10

Ah i see, if you didn't know she liked it until you mentioned it then I think you've every right to use it, but i also understand why your sister may be miffed but that's not your fault :)

Original poster

180209cooper · 14/02/2014 18:18

Decisions, decisions.It is an unusual name (where we live anyway) never heard of it anywhere near here before so doesn't help??

OP posts:

MaryWestmacott · 14/02/2014 18:46

You're going to have to tell us the name you know! (We've been very polite up to now for not demanding)

scottishmummy · 14/02/2014 18:52

Whoever pops first takes the name,first feet oot wins

GeorginaWorsley · 14/02/2014 18:58

My DH 's sister and cousin share same name,they were very close in age too.
I find it strange even now!

AfricanExport · 14/02/2014 19:03

DH's nephew's son was born a couple of months after DS. They are in SA and I have never met the mum. We had both chosen the same name for our boys (it is NOT a common name at all) and they have the same surname. They are also the only two boys in the family. This topic was NEVER EVER discussed by any members of the family. . It was just an incredible coincidence.

DGN (I feel old ) has said name as a second name now. Only because we popped first.

Ellypoo · 14/02/2014 20:32

Def first come first served - she might not ever have another baby anyway.

BlackberryandNettle · 15/02/2014 18:47

I have a very close friend I have known for years who has always loved one name and so I am steering clear of that one, lovely as it is. However your sister only mentioned this to you after you said you liked it. Also your husband loves the name - his feelings should come above hers in my opinion.

holidaysarenice · 15/02/2014 18:58

If its an uncommon names its more than likely at some stage she mentioned it and you've picked it up from there, so more unreasonable if its uncommon.

HoneyandRum · 16/02/2014 08:21

Sorry she feels sad but this is emotional blackmail. You have an actual child to name so choose the name you want. You didn't chose it after hearing it first from her either.

HoneyandRum · 16/02/2014 08:25

Also who knows in the future what your sister's DP may think about her name choice? It could be vetoed while your DP loves it and wants it.

Britishseamonkey · 19/02/2014 22:21

My sister and I liked same girls
Name. When I was pg with my ds my mum suggested I shouldn't use it as is also my sister's middle name. That made me so so cross! The idea of not using it in favour of a bay that might never come is absurd!
My sister had a dd a year later and used it - didn't bother me at all.
Definitely first come first served!

Orangeisthenewbanana · 21/02/2014 13:36

Use it. It was genuinely your first choice of name before the 2 of you discussed it so it's not like you nicked the idea off her! Also, if you hadn't had the conversation with her and just announced the name after the birth, she would have had to deal with it. She will have to deal
with it now. She can't reserve a name you love that she might never get the opportunity to use.

trixymalixy · 21/02/2014 13:42

Use it. I had similar. My neighbour and I were pregnant at the same time and our first choice gurl's name was the same. In our case it is DH's Grandma's name so a special name.

My neighbour gave birth first and to a boy. She isn't likely to have any more unfortunately and has now in fact moved away.

Could you imagine if I hadn't used the name because she also liked it and she never did use it?

Use the name, your sister might never even have a baby.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread