Announcing baby names before the birth

[sharkey1187]

I've just had a fairly heated discussion with the DH over announcing the shortlisted baby names to his family. Had he asked me before telling, I would have been totally against it. Firstly, we haven't even had our first scan yet. Secondly, the lost of names we have is just from the general discussion you have when you first find out. Lastly, I don't want anyone to influence our choices. I feel it is a decision we make together and I don't want anyone to have an opinion about a name, such as a "ooh I'm not sure about that one", resulting us feeling obliged to cross it off the list. He doesn't feel the same way... In fact it resulted in an awkward conversation at his parents in which his mum picked up my reluctance to reveal names and told him to stop pushing me into saying more!

What are everyone else's thoughts on this?? Is it just me who thinks this is one of the topics to be kept secret?!

Don't reveal. Because a) everyone will put you off b) you may change your mind anyway right up until you have your bundle in your arms

Definitely not! Names are to be told on arrival of baby and not before. If you do it beforehand, people might think your discussing and that their opinion counts (it doesn't) or they'll put you off it, or you might change your mind.

Hmmm, your husband is probably excited about having a child too. I wouldn't let my husband tell me I could not discuss potential baby names with my own mother. If you don't want to hear her thoughts you should leave the room that way you are both happy. He gets to discuss them and you do not.

If you're that early on in discussions it wouldn't be a problem with me. If he'd announced the actual name you had completely set your heart on then I'd be very annoyed.

I was happy to say we like X, Y and Z, but not 'we will call the baby Z'.

I would be annoyed, though tbh I would be astonished if you end up with the same names in the running by the time baby is due! I mostly didn't want anyone else 'taking the credit' for a name that I already liked but that they had happened to suggest!
My DM didn't like my DC's name when we told her , and didn't make much effort to hide it, so I'm extra glad we never told her in advance or we might have felt obliged to change it!

I started discussing names in jest early on (we'd decided it was hard enough to choose one with only 2 opinions in the mix, so we weren't telling anyone our real shortlist) and it was really weird. People professing to love names I hated and vice versa. I found it made an already challenging process much harder - not just choosing a name but psychologically adapting to parenthood.

one of my pals announced her sons name months before this birth. I found it really uncomfortable people referring to her bump by name. It was also a real anticlimax when he was born there was no 'what did she have? what did you call him excitement'.

It was just announced X had arrived

arkina I have a friend who announced her baby's name to everyone on Facebook the day they found out the gender. Worryingly, when ever she mentions the name on fb it's always spelt differently. Baby isn't due for a while yet.

No keep name lists secret. People will always give opinions and will then want their opinions upheld or will take credit for your choices

Blimey, I don't think we even started discussing names until I was gone 20weeks!

As you have said, the biggest potential problem is someone hating a name you adore and stressing you out about using it. I think your DH is probably just very excited about becoming a Dad which is lovely. But maybe just ask him how he'd feel if someone poo-pooed one of his favourite choices in advance - it might make him consider things a bit more.
His mum sounds quite sensible about it too fortunately

One idea is to come up with a nickname for the bump ( we did rapunzel/Rasputin ) and that will stop people asking or fob them off for now. I loved announcing the real name at same time of announcing birth and weight and no one queried it, it was just accepted.

I wouldn't.

Don't reveal. It's an anticlimax as there's no surprise to be had on the birth day (as sex is also known in advance).

I didn't find out my son's name until they were stitching me up! DH and I had a deal that he'd choose if it was a boy, me if a girl. Nice surprise for me as well as our families!

Yes, don't reveal

It's a nice surprise, and people (if they have any manners) can't say anything negative once the baby is born

I wouldn't reveal :
a) because people will stick their oar in and some might let you know they don't like it
b) you might change your mind when you actually have the baby. At least half my friends had a name picked out and changed it because "it wasn't a Lola/Jack/Poppy"

Since the deed is done maybe you can now agree that only close family know and swear them to secrecy. The last thing you want is someone blabbing the name all over facebook for example.

The only people that know my name choices so far are me, DH and Mumsnet when I asked for opinion/ checked i wasn't making a hormonal mistake.