Is this a good idea or am I being a bit ridiculous?

[Trinpy]

I'm currently pregnant with ds, due in the spring. There were only 2 boys names dh and I both liked so we have decided to have these as ds' first and second names. Both names are quite popular at the moment, but they hold a special meaning for us. The first name was dh's grandad's name and dh has always said that if he ever had a son he would want to name him this.

We made a big thing about keeping the name a secret but a few people ended up finding out anyway (our parents, a few close friends). We've now got to the point where the name we chose is definitely ds' name and everyone who knows it refers to the baby by his name.

Two couples in my family are expecting babies in the next few weeks but chose not to find out the sex. I'm now getting a bit nervy in case either couple has a boy and uses our ds' name, but after making such a big deal about keeping it a secret I feel a bit silly telling everyone now. Am I completely crazy to accidentally on purpose let slip what our chosen name is to a gossipy family member so others won't use it?

you cant guarantee they wont use it tho imo

They will probably have decided on a name by now anyway so they might still use it anyway even if you told them.

What on earth makes you think they won't say

Ooooh!!! Great name!!!

And pinch it?

Keep. Schtum.

And if by coincidence they have picked the same name, nothing now is likely to make them change their minds.

Also, if you have picked a popular name, you can't expect to be the only people in your circle of family and friends who use it.

I don't think it would really matter if they did use the same name would it? My best friend's name is also Antoinette. In my immediate family there are three Davids. (My cousin, my uncle and my great uncle. None are sons to another David if that makes sense.)

There is no way to 'reserve' a name.

But if you want to tell people, tell them. Just don't count on it having an effect one way or the other. For they may love the name as much as you do, and have emotional/family bonds to it too.

God , I remember having that problem !

your best bet is to get it out there , then they know and will hopefully chose something else

tbh if people know what names you have chosen they are going to look pretty mean if they chose the same ones

We always joke in my family that there are only two male names such is the frequency of their use. Nicknames are used, surnames, work titles, characteristics ...anything to distinguish them from each other. It works perfectly well and has done for generations. I don't get the need for 'unique' names. What you want is a child with unique personality! Just use the name you love, regardless.

I wouldn't mind at all if it was a friend or distant family member, but one of the couples is my brother and sil. So we couldn't really use it if they did.

One of the reasons we decided not to tell anyone in the first place was because I didn't think it was fair to reserve a name. I didn't realise how quickly it would become his name though - I really can't imagine him being called anything else. Especially when our parents have got used to referring to the baby by his name.

But since I asked your advice, I will take it and hopefully I'll be worrying for nothing anyway!

Keep it a secret. Much better that way.

I would be very upset if a relative came and told me I couldn't use a name as they had reserved it!!

If they do coincidentally use it and it stops you from using it, it is your problem. Tbh if it is popular I don't see the harm in using it anyway.

Maybe try to think of a backup name. Or start calling h

Him baby.

I know males on gender scans are pretty conclusive but I've never referred to the bump as it's name, always as baby, just in case something gets in the way of the name.

my SIL and i were both pregnant at the same time she had her ds in may 2010 and i had my ds in July 2010. We both had the name Lucas in our top names, right up until a few weeks before she had her heart set on Lucas but then suddenly changed the name to Harley as she thought Lucas was getting too popular. Harley coincidently was in our top 10 list we made up aswell, so luckilly i got my baby Lucas who was very nearly Bradley... Lucas suits him lovely aswell :)

I would definitely tell everyone, especially my brother, in your situation,

I would tell too and have done in the past luckily my 2 friends who were due both before me had different names picked out but it put my mind at rest