Name regrets

[happyteadrinker]

My daughter has just turned 1 and I can;t get used to her name. When I was pregnant, my husband didn't like any of my suggestions and he really liked the name we gave her. So I decided to please my husband and my favourite name is now her middle name. The first name we gave her is a classic (think Royal Family) and there is nothing wrong with it, it's just that I can't quite accept the fact that it's my daughters name. I had a difficult end of pregnancy and was probably too weak to insist. Now I'm asking myself if we should use her middle name for everyday use. The problem is that everyone knows her by her 1st name - her 2 siblings, the family, friends etc. Maybe I should just move on and get used to the name - but this is what I was trying to do for the last year.

I would talk to your husband about it when you're both not (too) exhausted. If he is open to it I would make the change.

I knew a family with four children in the early '80s and they told me they changed their third child's name from Sharon to Rebecca when the mother regretted it. Not sure how old the child was when they made the change but she wasn't a young baby (they changed her name in the '70s). We also changed our 2nd child's middle name in the first year once I found my husband would accept one of my favorite names as a middle name that I thought he had ruled out.

It's not like you are suddenly using a completely unknown name, you just want to use her middle name as her first.

Always helps to know the name. Is it Elizabeth? Could you use a diminutive on a day-to-day basis e.g. Betty, Betsy, Libby etc.?

My main concern is for my daughter as she knows her name and I'm afraid that she could be traumatised if she's called differently out of a sudden. It's just that she is normally our last child and the only daughter, and I always dreamt of a little girl with a name I really like. But probably it shouldn't be all about me...

Of course you should really like her name! That's not selfish at all!

Names evolve, too. My bil has all sorts of names (haha!) and is even known by his middle name sometimes. It won't traumatised her to start calling her by her middle name.

Traumatise her (stupid autocorrect )

Slight tangent, but I've been surprised in my adult life how many people I come across that use their middle name rather than their first name. I don't know how many of them chose to switch in later life, or in similar situations to yourself.
I also often call one of my daughters by her middle name. It's just another one of the many names I have for her!

Our Dd has name I love but kind of regret as it sounds quite posh, we have a unique surname and she gets teased. But it has dozens of easy diminutives and nicknames and is always called by one of those except by officials. We have talked about her changing her name by deedpoll to her main shortened name as did her male cousin.
Also, you will get used to it and so will you I expect!

What mrs said if it is Elizabeth (which is lovely btw) you have tons of nn options but I think if your oh is on board using your dd middle name is an option too. Can we ask what the middle name is?

One of my sisters has a middle name that has many shortened versions, (like Catherine has Kate, Katie, Kitty, Cath, etc.) As a baby, she was regularly known by her first name hyphenated with a shortened version of her second name (a bit like Sylvie-Kate). In the family, she is often known just by that shortened version of her middle name. Even my DC call her "Aunty Kate".

Perhaps you could do something similar.

DD1 is currently going through a process of getting people to call her a different shortened version of her name.

Perhaps you could use the name you like, and it will catch on with others. Or not. But at least you can call her the name you love.

It won't traumatise her. Or if it will, my DC have all been deeply traumatised by the wide range of somewhat bizarre nicknames they have been given over the years. (Mr Hoogensnivvy, for example.)

Thanks for your support everyone, I feel better! I think that I'll experiment with calling her her middle name or the nickname of it.